In order for communication to be as efficient as possible, you need to try to call interest in your interlocutor. After all, most often, if a person is not with you, he means against you or at best neutral.

You may argue by saying that in most cases simply state the facts. But think about why you talk to this person, and not with someone else.

What would you say, you want to count on the fact that the interlocutor will not leave your words without attention and decides that they were worth listening to or read. To achieve this, let me understand the listener that it is important for you.

Your communication will become more efficient if you show your interlocutor, which you consider it an important member of the dialogue. This can be done as follows.

Never mind. A person can stick to the point of view other than yours. Recognizing that his opinion has the right to exist, and not trying to prove that it is mistaken, you can count on the fact that your point of view will be carefully considered. You can say: "Your point of view is very interesting."

Try to accept someone else's opinion.. If you show tolerance to opinions that do not coincide with your own, the interlocutor feels that his point of view is worthy of attention. Demonstrating an understanding of the point of view of the interlocutor, you show your consent to her. The more often you "try on the views of other people, the more show your respect for them.

Do not interrupt. If you wish to clarify the information is quite great temptation to interrupt the statement of the interlocutor. By doing so, you create an impression in a person that his opinion does not consider any important. I remember your comments (or making notes in a notebook during the meeting), you will be sure that you will not forget about them and speak out at the right moment.

Believers so that they see: their point of view is important for you. Then they will feel that they are appreciated, and you will have more chances to earn their respect.

If you give to understand the person that you understand him, you will be easier for him to like it.

Almost this can be achieved in this way.

Encourage the stories of the interlocutor about yourself. That you will receive information to which you can refer later. Asking questions "What do you think? .." and listening to and memorizing answers, you show the interlocutor that you wonder what happens to him. Menting on the next meeting the most interesting details of the story, you will demonstrate that a person is not sensible to you.

Show live interest. Specifying related issues, you are installing contact with a person. For example: "Why do you think so?" Notes that the interlocutor is worried, and finding common interests, you demonstrate to him your support. For example: "I know that it bothers you ..."

Call a person named. Turning to the interlocutor by name, you bring the element of privacy into communication. The name is an integral part of the person, pronouncing a name, you show your interest in man as an individuality. This not only gives him a reason to consider himself worthy of attention, but also configures to a positive attitude towards you.

Feeling interest in herself, people become more open to communicate and are more readily listen to the interlocutor. If you agree to tune in to the image of the thoughts of the interlocutor, his feelings and interests, he will see a relative soul in you and will be more susceptible.

Interest in the surrounding is an important component of communication. If you do not forget to show the interlocutor, that it is important for you, listen carefully and demonstrate an understanding, you inspire him that he is worthy of respect. This approach will help you to open the way to his thoughts.

If you actually appreciate chat, it is definitely manifested in your words and actions and makes the interlocutor treat himself with great respect. So you have the right to count on the appropriate relationship in response. If everything happens this way, we can assume that communication was possible.

Think about communicating with others and give answers to the following questions.

^ Do you feel to the interlocutor how to the main element of the communicative process?

^ Are you trying to avoid objections?

^ Are you tolerant of others?

^ Do you give a companion the opportunity to speak to the end before you begin to express your point of view?

^ Do you pay your attention completely?

^ Do you specify questions related to emphasize your interest?

^ Do you forget to contact your interlocutor by name?

^ Do you understand that a respectful attitude towards other people makes communication more efficient?

Refer to the interlocutor as the most important participant in the communicative process;

Try not to reap the interlocutor;

Listen carefully;

Give the interlocutor the opportunity to finish the thought before expressing his point of view;

To give the interlocutor maximum attention;

Ask questions to emphasize that you are interested in a person and his story;

Contact the interlocutor by name;

Respect and appreciate the views and ideas of other people.

Ksenia, if you feel honest, then in your question I see a two-way situation, or rather, I do not quite understand the true meaning of your problem. Do you want to hurt your indifference of the one who offended your feelings? Or in this way, did you decide to get rid of the annoying fan?

In any case, I will try to help you, considering your "trouble" on both sides.

If you really don't need a courtship and you are absolutely not needed, then get rid of the fan of one hints and your bad behavior, I consider it wrong, but rather cruel to. Such a question needs to be addressed to the eye. Tell me, as it is, the boy that he does not suit your young man that you have different interests, that he is definitely an excellent guy, but unfortunately you are not to be together, and everything is in such a spirit. Just saying it all needs neatly, without curb and ridicule, remembering his feelings for you. I understand that it is not very, and simply - to hold such a conversation, but it will look more honest, the silent "you are not interested."

Well, if you talk not enough spirit, then, of course, you can pass your indifference to your behavior. Coming by, not notice, do not answer the phone calls, rubbing in response or do not take a conversation at all, open the stroke of the eyes to another boy and so on, and the like.

But think, Ksyusha, and would you like to treat you like that?

Imagine yourself at the site of this guy. While you can not tell him everything in my eyes, he will be to the last to believe and hope that everything can happen. What you can, perhaps you just play with him, check it, and there will be time, and he will still "damn" your heart. Understand, in love, in relationships should not be hints, but words and truth. Guys are different. The longer it will reach, the paying the situation can come out. Suddenly, he then gets marked and wants to take revenge on something for so long "drove him behind his nose." Therefore, Ksyusha, do not like the guy - tell him about it directly. You can take someone with yourself for courage and prudence so as not to be with him alone.

Now consider the other side of your problem, if in the first case I did not guess.

Do you want your indifference to show the guy who left or did you quarrel, what do you care? In some kind of revenge in this way?

Yes, many, unfortunately, choose such a way of behavior when they are offended. But the whole trouble is that we are worse only yourself. Smile and having fun on display, pretend that life is beautiful, and then cry in the pillow and hate all the white light. And also called your beloved, and after we do not know how to get away from all this.

Therefore, if a revenge for the insanity has conceived indifference, it is best to survive this time as it is. Take yourself from sad thoughts with some kind of affairs, meet with friends, but do nothing about it and to harm yourself. The smaller you think about the past, the faster you will meet with the future, but in it and with new love.

Well, Ksenia, I hope that the advice will be useful to you, and soon you will get better.

Irina Tagieva For readers

I do not know if you have such situations when you like a young man, but you do not know how to show it to him to make a step first? I had such a thing and more than once, at the sight of the object of my lust, I just lost control of myself and launched to do some kind of failure ...
Togo here is an article that I think will help in such an important question)

For a long time, the famous truth - the girls are not familiar to the first, but, especially, the first to talk about their feelings, on the one hand, it seems very and very correct. But! If we build proud and impregnable beauties from yourself, even the most patient and benevolently configured male instance will not stand and leave the thoughts about joint walks-weef-endah-religious-marriage times and forever.
Indeed, why does he need a cluster (however, the easily accessible person is also not the best option !!!). So how do we, girls, be? How to show a man that we like it, but it is not a crime borders of decent?

Resolutely interested in this topic, I decided to spend something like a survey, uncomply asked the specified question to young people in various age and social groups. From this was very interesting, but quite an optimistic picture. So…

Scientific option, or "kinematics".

Honestly, the first "sacrifice" of my survey did not intrigue me. Eugene (28 years old, a foreign firm manager) came up to the case from a scientific point of view, explaining to me that "the process of appealing the attention of a young man on a non-equinavid attitude of the girl's attitude consists of two parts." The first part is visual, in which your "allies" can be eyes and lips. For example, a gentle look, accompanied by a slight smile corner of the lips, will not leave a single man indifferent. Eyes - this is the mirror of the soul, so we all use them to express our feelings and emotions, naturally, without releasing and not forcing a young man to think that something has fallen into your eye, since you are so often for a long blink - "Shoot with its charming eyes "

The next stage is that Eugene called the mysterious word "kinematics". Upon arrival, I instantly got an encyclopedic dictionary, which said that kinematics there is nothing but a section of mechanics in which the geometric properties of the body movement are examined without taking into account their mass and the forces acting on them. Long thinking about how the mechanics, geometry and body weight can be associated with the relationship between a man and a woman, I, in the end, came to the conclusion that if the first part of the "seduction" implies only the silent parcel of signs of the object of desire In the second part you can easily use what can move: hands, legs. In a word, if you, as if by challenging, touches the hands of a young man or correct his hair, tie, it will attract his attention, at the same time intrigued. At the same time, no thoughts of your "promiscuity" or an uncompatoryness will not come to his head.

My next questioned - Alexey is a man of a creative profession. Therefore, he approached the mission entrusted to him very creative. "The girl has a lot of ways to show young manWhat he likes her - for this nature endowed her weighing the necessary "funds". A languid look from under the lowered eyelashes, a slight movement of the hand, correcting the hairstyle, slightly catchy smile ... Yes, you never know what! Each girl has their own "trumps", because she is unique. And if the girl is raised, knows about the rules of decency, then there will be nothing immoral or screking in her actions, it will be natural !!! "

All subsequent answers to the problem who excuses us did not differ in particular diversity. Some even struck me with their simplicity. For example, one young man said the following: "Why do you need to invent something? Like - it means to act. So tell me - I like you. " Honestly, I do not know how it may look in real life. Not every young man is not even surprised to a similar statement, because, despite the fact that today is considered normal for weak gender, the first to get acquainted, the first to confess in love and perform truly men's work, modern life has not changed the brain of a man in which a woman -First is perceived as a gentle and mysterious creation, in one word, like a woman.

Thus, after a long conversation and no less long reflection, I came to one and, I think, quite logical conclusion. As they say, "a woman should always remain a woman." Any woman is a mystery that a man must solve throughout his life. Therefore, use the fact that you have given nature, it is the most beautiful and most correct language on which a man and a woman can say and for which words are not required. Well, if words are still needed, they need to pronounce, sooner or later ...
The article is provided by the magazine Women's Club

It is very important to give to understand the dear and beloved person that he is very necessary, to show that it represents the highest value and its presence in life is simply necessary. And do it is not so difficult.

Instruction

Try to spend more with your loved one time. Show attention to it, participate in his life. Imagine the importance of those questions that are particularly worried. Show interest in his problems and successes at work or in study. Interested in his mood, well-being, desires.

Expand your horizons to more fully understand your loved one. Learn his hobby to participate in equal rights in his passion. And if you suggest something new, unknown. Look for information about its work or studies to better understand its everyday problems.

If an expensive person has any problems, manifest participation, support support, consulting. Do not wait when he first asks for help. Manage the initiative and offer your help in everything. And the help should consist not only in sympathy and support, but also in real affairs.

Do not sacrifice yourself with my own personality. Keep your own inner world, your hobbies. Try to look for ways to combine your interests and your hobbies with interests and hobbies. native man. Tell him about my hobby, about myself, about his everyday life. Perhaps he also wants to take part in them.

Always be positive, cheerful and cheerful. Try to make it so that together the time for an expensive person was filled with pleasant emotions and positive. A native and beloved person should see how you bloom and transform into a company with him.

Speak nice words more often. At the same time, constantly emphasize how the second half is important and needed. Try not to just say "you are very valuable," and explain what exactly it represents the highest jewel in your life, telling about his positive qualities.

Do not forget to congratulate the dear person with the holidays, give him pleasant gifts. Even if you live far and rarely meet, find the time to call more often, communicate. And not only on holidays.

All interesting

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