Joking expressions are short. Cool aphorisms, phrases and quotes for all time

What a pity that you are finally leaving.

A bad person is the one who does not love me, the good one.

Move the tomatoes - go faster.

Eating too much is bad, but too little is boring.

Who gets up early gets everyone.

Ugly women are always jealous of their husbands; beautiful - not before, they are jealous of strangers.

A real intellectual will never say - "as she was a fool-fool, so she remained", he will say - "time has no power over her."

You need to rejoice today, otherwise tomorrow will be even better.

He buried his ax of war somewhere on Mira Avenue...

How many of us brainless sages!

This morning, such horrors were shown in the mirror.

Not to be able, not to be able, to theorize - I can, I can, I practice.

The end of the world was canceled because of people like you.

We had a Schrödinger relationship with her.

Don't leave the bar, don't make a mistake.

Nothing invigorates in the morning like an unnoticed door jamb.

Left with a nose, he became completely unbearable!

Life is beautiful if you do not remember the past and do not think about the future.

The goose also thought he was bathing until the water boiled...

Miracle on a platter.

Hate is negatively charged love.

Erysipelas in clay, in the pope of a branch, which means I came from reconnaissance!

Keep it simple and microbiologists will reach out to you.

There is never too much empty space!

Yes, so that Bilan on skates dreamed of you!

Having broken the spear on the stupidity of the opponent ...

I'm not as stupid as you look.

If you want to lose weight - go to the students.

Everything behind: you have to turn around!

Life has gone by.

I get the impression that apart from impressions, I have nothing added up.

Do not go into someone else's network with your protocol!

I don't treat my schizophrenia. She doesn't hurt me.

Today I can't.

Week of Modern Youth: Loafer, Repeater (loafer repeater), Delirium, Quarter, Pitnitsa, Clubbbot, Hangover.

Don't think anything bad, but I don't care what you think of me.

If there is tea on the table, then you must definitely drink it.

If you don't shut up now, you'll smile with your gums.

If there are no beautiful and smart at the same time, then I don't exist?

Never forget about your sclerosis.

Nerves gave me away.

Of all the money, I love paper money the most.

Between two beautiful roses - a nasty fly agaric grew.

Lying on the couch the meaning of life.

I woke up, thus starting a series of terrifying events.

How to love your neighbor if he resists?

Oh sorry. It seems the middle of my sentence interrupts the beginning of yours.

I sit in the bath, I fish. sometimes the doctor comes...

What are you standing on the doorstep? Don't be shy, go f*ck!

Today I am in awe.

How to distinguish a real law degree from a fake when buying?

Ah, it was before! How do you remember! Fifteen minutes past one, for example.

We are not fish - fish are dumb.

You don’t sleep all day, you don’t eat all night - of course, you get tired.

Everything happened by chance, although it was planned.

I wanted to leave, but then they poured again.

Strange, today is Monday, but not happy at all.

Comrade in misfortune will not advise bad!

A new statue will be erected in Holland - a giggling boy pissing on a pissing boy.

There are no humble people. Some people just don't have much to be proud of.

The thought that someday I still have to stop doing garbage is very scary.

If a friend is in trouble, I will circle the friend with chalk.

Throughout his life, Pushkin teaches us that a talented person must first learn to shoot.

I didn't even have you on my mind.

Obeying the primitive instinct, like a real hunter, I caught, skinned, cooked and ate celery for dinner.

I am a rather secretive person. And it's none of your fucking business why.

The computer does not obey the laws of physics. Only in it glitches arise from nothing, files disappear into nowhere, and the volume is measured in meters and is called weight.

Life is in vain, so you get mad.

95% of people are idiots. We work for the remaining 15%.

If you are happy for more than one day, then something is being hidden from you!

Angry at your neighbor? Buy his child a drum.

Never mind, take it in your mouth - it's easier to spit it out!

Have you lost the list of who to be afraid of? Remind you?

Life is a continuous struggle: from morning to dinner - with hunger, but after dinner with sleep.

Your thoughts are so brilliant that the orderlies have already arrived!

Well, let's go back to our sheep... and lead the herd.

A century would look at you - through an optical sight.

I'm constantly haunted by smart thoughts, but I'm faster than them!

My body wants me to live a healthy life, but I'm not going to listen to the advice of an alcoholic.

I've had a hard day for the last six months.

And then we went to the registry office and informed the state that we were sleeping together ...

For the sake of hugs, I even agree to a preliminary sex.

I'll give everything, but where can I get it?

It is better to give and be dazzled than not to give and be sorry!

It's never too late to take a bath with a hairdryer.

I like tomatoes, but not enough to eat them.

Today pilaf without meat. And no rice.

Three can only keep a secret if two of them are dead.

From time to time, each of us needs to hear funny words in order to smile. Therefore, in search of a good mood, we resort to various collections of cool expressions and phrases. When you are cheerful, the whole world smiles back at you.

Every day we hear a lot of short funny phrases, but not all of them remain on hearing, and even less are remembered. The origin of a funny phrase is forgotten, but the meaning remains, especially if the phrase is funny.

It is impossible to imagine our life without laughter and smiles, without humor and fun. We offer our selection of cool expressions and phrases for free, and let no one be left without a smile! Use every minute in your life!

Usually it is funny funny phrases that unite companies. Short funny phrases with meaning most fully reflect the good mood of people in society, have a positive effect on the worldview, and help determine the commonality of interests. And it doesn’t matter at all whether the new funny phrases about love are lines from a book, a chorus from a song, cues from a movie or cartoon.

Short funny expressions and funny phrases will be appreciated by cheerful people with a good sense of humor. On our website, we decided to delight you with our cool phrases and expressions.

Short funny phrases will help to cheer up friends

The main meaning of funny phrases is that they describe in a humorous way the exciting moments in the life of many people. Cool phrases about life will help to cheer up friends during a friendly feast. Cool phrases and aphorisms can cheer you up in a difficult and difficult period.

There are a lot of funny phrases and aphorisms. Cool phrases and sayings are passages that are taken from works of art, modern films or cartoons.

Basically, cool expressions about life are not taken from books, but from TV and the Internet. Many cool expressions and phrases are filled with meaning. The coolest expressions are various puns, or seriousness brought to the point of absurdity. Odessa humor is very multifaceted and many cool expressions become classics.

These cool expressions never get old and always remain relevant. For example, a lot of cool expressions are taken from the lines of works of art. Many well-known cool expressions with meaning are taken from the classics of world cinema, which are so pleasant to remember for the older generation.

Free funny expressions and funny sayings

Funny funny expressions about love will help to amaze your companion or companion with wit. Cool words and expressions will also come in handy if you need to correct an awkward situation or oversight. Cool sayings and expressions in the company of friends are most relevant.

Meet your friends, enjoy life with our funny aphorisms and expressions, and enjoy your thoughts and the thoughts of your friends.

There are many short funny phrases and expressions. But we have selected for you only the coolest ones, which, in our opinion, deserve the most attention. Our selection of the coolest phrases and expressions for people who love to have fun and make other people laugh. We invite you to read our free funny phrases and expressions to cheer you up.

Cool expressions and funny phrases to cheer up

People want a good life, and they always have a fun one.
Money is never as good as bad without it.
I found my place in life, but it is busy ...
If you did everything right, it does not mean that you will be fine
Real loneliness is when you talk to yourself all night long and you are not understood.
The Minister of Finance sincerely believed that happiness is not in money.
Study, study and study again, because you still won’t find a job!
They lived happily ever after until they found out that others live longer and happier lives.
Life is divided into two stages - first there is no mind, then health.
Smoking is harmful, drinking is disgusting, and it is a pity to die healthy.
Very often you learn about the best moments of life from eyewitnesses.
They learn from mistakes, and after mistakes they heal.
Recipe for army canapés: Simply place a slice of bread on top of another slice of bread.
Money comes and goes and goes and goes...
As soon as you find your soul mate, other halves begin to wander around and make you doubt.
Not everyone who has gone out into the world manages to remain a man.
Clicked the mouse...
The classics are the kind of literature that people prefer to praise rather than read.
When a person begins to consider himself wiser, he ceases to grow wiser.
When appointing a martyr, the consent of the applicant is not required.
One does not believe in rheumatism and love until the first attack.
This world is strange, where two people look at the same thing, but see the exact opposite.
We would care less about what others think of us if we knew how little they think of us at all.
Only having known the black everyday life, you begin to appreciate the gray ones.
Don't impose your happiness on me, I have mine!
What would you like to wish, so as not to envy later?
It's good that you are accepted. Too bad it's in a pigsty.
Sometimes you don’t want to fool around at all, but can you refuse it?
An honest person who dreams of becoming a politician must remember that the reverse reincarnation is basically impossible.
Human rights end where the rights of a stronger person begin.
In the life of a real programmer, there is a place for only two females: Asya and Klava. Well, except for the mother.
I do not regret the past, I mourn the future that has died in it.
Do you want sweet dreams? - Sleep in the cake!
If you are harnessed, then do not wait for the gingerbread.
What roof doesn't like fast driving?
The hero is the one who steals from the rich?
The quality of a miracle is easy to determine: even eyewitnesses do not believe in a real miracle.
When you start to delve into the essence of any sale, you remember that in Russian the words "discount" and "throw" are the same root.
Previously, court jesters rang bells, but now - special signals.
If sport were as useful as we are told about it, then five Jews would hang on each horizontal bar.
If you see only the good in everything, then nothing will change for the better.
All men are the same, only their salary is different.
If a woman tries to keep her virginity before marriage, she has many chances to keep it until retirement.
He knew how to do everything ... True, he did not succeed at all.
Everything would be fine, but this is nothing - too much.
Became a vegetarian - switched to weed ..
If you are constantly laughed at, it means that you bring joy to people.
Each person has exactly as much vanity as he lacks intelligence.
A lot has changed in Russia in five years, but almost nothing in two hundred years.
Attractive women are distracting.
Forecasters, like sappers, make only one mistake.
But every day.
What date is May Day?
God, I'm a cow.
Smoking warns: the Ministry of Health is a sneak.
Caught a mouse - eat slowly.
Smell under the arm - change the rug.
Are you flying in your sleep? Sleep at home.
If it wasn't for my legs, I wouldn't be here.
Top of freedom - round dances.
Don't dance, I'll get more.
If everything is fine in a person, then this is not our person!
Baldness is the process of replacing combing with washing.
Today we drink dry wine! Pour it!
Ideal marriage: she plays the first violin, and he plays the drum (E. Kashcheev)
If money does not please, then it is not yours.
In Russia, the people have not yet spoken their word, but it is already written on the fence...
A person has either a sense of humor or gloating.
Each pioneer must hand over to the state 15 kg of waste paper and two who did not.
Until he served, he slept peacefully, he knew that they were guarding. During the service he slept badly, guarded. After the service, I don’t sleep at all ... I know who guards
It is indecent to come to an organized drinking party personally drunk in an unorganized way!
The slower the train goes, the wider the expanses of our Motherland.
Never have books radiated so much light as in the fires of the Inquisition.
If not for sclerosis, I would constantly think about my people.
Scientists have found that the most understandable language on Earth is Chinese. It is understood by 1.5 billion people.
Small is a well gnawed big.
Physics has been abolished in Estonian schools so as not to injure children with the concept of "speed".
Be sure to compose aphorisms - they will facilitate the work of your psychotherapist ...
Our monastery asked the Holy Synod whether it is possible to pray while smoking, and we were told - it is possible! Since then, our monks have been smoking during prayer...
A man is a homing system.
Until the end of the month only! Everyone who buys a satellite dish will get a satellite spoon and a satellite fork as a gift!

How useful are cool expressions and phrases? For any occasion, some people always have jokes, jokes, sayings that are capable of others. A witty, ironic, cheerful person endures adversity more easily and will not go into his pocket for a word.

Reality sometimes presents not the most pleasant surprises. Overload at the workplace, stressful situations in one's own home, insecurity in friends, work colleagues, and in the future as a whole often lead to a breakdown. It's not worth saying that in the soul at such moments - just cats scratching. What to do in such turbulent times?

What can help relieve stress?

Many people, being victims of unexpected pressure, try to look for, if not oblivion, then recharge, in the regular use of various stimulants. Moreover, some of them begin to support themselves with relatively safe energy drinks, and end their lives as avid drug addicts.

Even our favorite tea is among these energy drinks. It is known that tea is able to cheer up for no apparent reason. However, over time, this can lead to a real chemical addiction. Therefore, it is much better to relieve stress by remembering and using cool expressions for any occasion.

Will humor and jokes help to cope with stress?

Appropriate jokes and jokes can improve mood and relieve stress without any additional chemical doping. It is for this reason that the article is devoted to humorous expressions applicable in a variety of life situations. .

Having become acquainted with it, you will not only improve your mood here and now. By memorizing some of these expressions, you can cheer yourself up whenever the need arises. Moreover, such a beneficial effect will have practically no side effects.

The main thing here is not to overdo it when communicating with people who do not understand humor. After all, some may condemn even the most innocent joke, and light sarcasm for them is like a personal insult!

When can funny expressions about life be used in a speech?

If you can't change the situation, change your attitude towards it. This is the upbringing of positive character traits that make it easier to go through life, quickly find new friends and help old ones. Cool expressions filled with subtle humor will help defuse the situation in almost any situation. They can be used both when something went wrong, and when the heart is overwhelmed with joy. The most important thing is that the interlocutor is on the same emotional wavelength with you. If this condition is met, neither you nor your listeners will be bored.

Examples of the coolest expressions about family life

In this block you will find the most famous funny expressions that can be used in the process of communicating with family members. Especially this block is recommended to be studied by the male half: do not forget that women love witty ones. Introducing our TOP 10:

Marital ties are a difficult matter, so they are usually carried by two, and sometimes by three.
Lover from first marriage.
The naivety of a woman: even watching porn movies, she hopes that sex will end with a wedding.
A declaration of love is like a signal of the exact time. It is true only at the moment of pronunciation.
My trembling half.
You and I are one blood - you are Chuk, I am Huck.
When it's raining and melancholy outside, saw your husband - create an atmosphere of comfort.
It is better to be jealous of a woman for a stove than for a computer.
My children are concerned about the question of where everything came from, me - where everything went.
Happiness is when the desired moments coincide with the inevitable.
A strong marriage is a humble husband and a wife who treats him like a king.

Cool expressions on vacation

To fill the rest with smiles and fun, you can use almost any jokes and jokes. The most suitable of them will be cool expressions from films. If those do not come to mind, remember something from the following TOP:

One drop of nicotine will kill a horse, three hundred - able to defeat
A quickly drunk glass cannot be considered poured.
Today you do not drink with us, but tomorrow you will betray your Motherland.
Eat, eat, dear guests. If your conscience has completely disappeared, then you can come tomorrow.
Smart people are nice to talk to, but hard to work with.
My life is leaving so quickly, as if she is no longer interested in me.
There are no ugly women - there are underfunded ones.
To make a woman happy, let her sometimes do nothing.
A person who values life will not distort it with dirty thoughts.
Monogamy will make only one person unhappy.

and expressions appropriate in the queue to the doctor

Should I go to the doctor again? Do not despair! Our coolest expressions, presented in the following TOP, can make a visit to the doctor easy and fun:

Visit the website of the dental clinic - www.zubov.net.
One head is already good, but the torso will also come in handy.
The patient refused an autopsy, so the doctor was forced to treat him.
The doctor cannot prolong life, so he prolongs the disease.
The doctor asks the patient with a knife in his back: - Are you in a lot of pain? - No, it's unpleasant only when I laugh.
Medicines are so expensive that while you earn money on them, time will heal.
A new version of the Hippocratic Oath: only upon presentation of an insurance policy...
That's what our Fortune Teller suffered.
The freer the medicine, the more expensive the medicines.
It was a beautiful leg ... Let's have a second one!

Cool expressions applicable during a quarrel

Of course, quarrels are not the most pleasant thing. But even they can be made less painful if you learn to “send” people you don’t like more or less beautifully. The following is the next TOP, in which you will find expressions with meaning, cool insults of cultured people:

How much will principles be on your exchange today?
Of course, everyone wants to be honest ... But I want to be rich more.
Yes, it's time to weed your head.
Grunting is the new sign of consent!
There are simply no unbearable people, only narrow doors.
Who made a face like this for you?
Let it be rubbish. But take as much as you want!
I noticed by the face of your alarm clock - you are getting ready to ring again.
There is no need to stage thoughts here.
And reluctance to live, and too lazy to shoot yourself.

Cool expressions about gray everyday life

Cool expressions about life are an opportunity to colorize gray everyday life. Want to see for yourself? Read the following TOP:

Soon they will start to plant all the malicious non-payers of bribes.
Don't smile at me like a taxman.
I have more and more nightmares.
To be completely happy, I want to survive.
The 112 service received another call. Rescuers were upset, but they decided not to pick up the phone.
If a bald head is a path trampled down by thoughts, then I am the most thinking person!
Even New Year someone hates. Well, for example, Christmas trees.
To eat so much, you have to eat.
If you are always surrounded by fools, then you are the most important of them.
I'd rather sweat seven times than frost once.

Cool expressions used instead of insults

There are people to whom you explain at least 1000 times, repeat - everything is useless! However, even in this case, do not despair and be sad. After all, cool expressions for communicating with an unpleasant interlocutor can come up in slippery situations. Communication with "particularly gifted" people is no exception. To find out how to nevertheless point out to such people all the stupidity of their situation, remember a few expressions from the following TOP:

Sewerage is the only thing that can unite us.
I see you are smart! I see - the skull is too tight. I can fix it.
Smile more, the boss needs more idiots.
Don't make me nervous! I already have nowhere to hide the corpses!
The hero is alone. When there are many heroes, they are called hooligans.
I look, soon someone will get off with a slight fright.
You won't have to wait long for a warning shot to the head.
Be careful, take care of yourself, don't let your brain think.
If I get up, I'm afraid a nuclear war will ruin such a beautiful day for you.
Increasingly, I feel an irresistible desire to obscenely admire your behavior.

Cool expressions to help admit your mistake

Oddly enough, funny ones can smooth the situation when you don’t feel like laughing at all. One such situation is the need to admit one's own mistakes. To find out what can be said in such an inconvenient case, check out the next TOP:

The source of my wisdom is my experience. The source of my experience is my stupidity.
There are people who do not make mistakes, which means they are simply afraid to act.
Our delusions will die before us, so there is no need to make a mummy out of them.
Experience is such a thing that you get instead of what you wanted.
Experience is such a thing that appears immediately after it was needed.
I will not try to have time to explain something in between slaps. And it will turn out indistinctly, and it will be necessary to repeat.
Why commit the sin of being discouraged by mistakes when there are more pleasant sins around!
Today I am quieter than water and funnier than grass.
And yet, I did not manage to violate all decorum today.
Wisdom is not in not making mistakes, but in not repeating them again.

Descriptions of news and other recent events

Watching the news, these days, can be just as stressful as talking to an angry boss. Our final TOP “Cool catchphrases about modern life” will provide you with invaluable help in detente:

On election day, the people voted.
Also say that Lenin was a skinhead!
The main thing is to win. After all, the winners will not be planted.
Walking at night is the easiest way to commit suicide.
Debauchery is any sex in which you are not involved.
The more I think about it, the more convinced that Eve not only ate the forbidden apple, but also made a fashionable bag out of the poor Serpent.
If I'm on a plane, I'll take the front seat. When the plane crashes, the beer cart will again pass by me! At least get drunk before I die.
It seems that steaks with blood of the second group will soon become the most common dish.
Driver, watch out for places where children can suddenly jump out!
Psychoanalysis is the effort of the brain to get pleasure intended for another organ.

A little more about the benefits and expressions in everyday life

If an article on the topic “Cool expressions for any occasion” at least encourages someone not to resort to various chemical doping just to cope with the negative effects of stress, then it was not written in vain.

Of course, constant stress is an unpleasant thing, but you can and should learn to cope with it without medication. Is it difficult? Actually not very much. It will be difficult at the very beginning. Especially these difficulties can affect those who have already managed to become dependent on some chemicals.

If we are talking about drug addiction or advanced alcoholism, in order to overcome addiction, you will most likely have to consult a narcologist.

However, most readers do not belong to this population group. This means that you can train your own mind to successfully deal with stress. To achieve this goal without serious difficulties, you need to learn how to switch from what upsets you to the exact opposite moments in time. It will take quite a bit of time, and you will notice that achieving this goal is not difficult at all. The main thing here is not to let yourself get turned on!

After all, if someone from your environment behaves in a boorish way, this is his problem, not yours. Why waste your energy on other people's problems? And even if you were mistaken: what will the hassle and bitter tears give? Wouldn't it be better to just draw the right conclusions and not repeat past missteps and mistakes?

The media is bombarding us with an endless stream of negative news. And what does it give? Will there be fewer wars? Will planes stop crashing? Will all drivers and pedestrians learn to follow the rules of the road? Unfortunately, all these questions can be considered rhetorical. Therefore, after all, you should not worry too much about everything that the media brings down on us. Let's live together with our nervous system. And constant stress has never prolonged anyone's health!

Therefore, the only thing that can really help us is a correct attitude to everything that happens both in the world around us and directly in our lives. Any difficulties are easier to endure in a calm mood. And the best assistants in the constant struggle with stress, apathy, depression and constant fear are ourselves. The ability to control one's own mind, to have cool phrases and expressions in stock is one of the types of positive survival.

Continue to look at your life with a smile, endure difficulties with a cold mind, and notice the positive aspects in any situation. And most importantly - stop worrying about trifles! Life loves those who take it lightly! And then everything in your life will be just wonderful!

More than 230 witty, sharp, funny, cool, smart phrases, aphorisms and quotes for all occasions.

Children are interested in the question: where does everything come from, adults - where does everything go.

Appetite and guests come at mealtime.

I want to live forever. As long as it works.

Nobody knows as much as I don't know..

Women guess everything. They're only wrong when they reason

A woman - it sounds proud, as well as loud, capricious and stupid.

God! I beg you for death! Do not refuse me, Lord, because I do not ask for myself ...

Toast: To beautiful ladies and other mythical characters!

How quickly time flies: I didn’t have time to wake up, but I was already late for work.

A girl is like a calculator: she adds problems, takes time, multiplies expenses, divides property!!!

The rings on the roof of the wedding car mean that the starting score is 0:0

A woman is ready to do anything for love, even make love. A man is ready to do anything for the sake of making love, even to love.

Before spending the night with a man, a woman wants to know if she loves him. And a man can understand whether he loves a woman only after spending the night with her.

A man changes women when he wants to experience a lot, and a woman changes men when she does not experience anything.

Even the most beautiful legs grow from the ass.

Did the virus spill coffee on the keyboard too?

White and fluffy is actually gray and hairy.

There are no unbearable people, there are narrow doors.

One head is good, but with a body is better.

Believe people at their word, certified by signature and seal.

When I get married, I give birth to a son, I will call him Kuzey - and I will be Kuzka's mother!

It is not worth responding to evil with violence, you cannot even imagine what raped evil is capable of.

Nothing I say when you interrupt?

Speak - speak, I always yawn when I'm interested.

The road to success is always closed for repairs.

If you think that smoking doesn't affect a woman's voice, try brushing the ashes onto the carpet.

If you hesitate for a long time, you can shake everyone.

A woman is kind: she can forgive a man everything, even if he is not guilty of anything.

A woman driving is like a star in the sky: you see her, but she does not see you.

A woman wants everything - from one thing. The man is one of all.

The source of our wisdom is our experience. The source of our experience is our stupidity.

What a pity that you are finally leaving...

I change the self-assembly tablecloth for a similar sheet.

Announcement in the newspaper: I'm renting, spoiling

One fish - the other: - Well, let's say there is no God ... And then who changes the water in the aquarium?

One of the most striking manifestations of optimism is the phrase: "What a fool I was!"

Worn out in what my mother gave birth ...

If love in you is strength, if you are in love it is weakness

Why are you healthy at your age?

I'm not stupid - I'm not in the mood

Who said that Kutuzov did not have one eye? Kutuzov had one eye!

Workers needed to work at work. Payment in money.

I'm not serious - I'm bored

I'm not pretty - I'm damn cute

Healthy sleep not only prolongs life, but also reduces the working day

The penguin is a rare bird. So, it must fly to the middle of the Dnieper.

Who does not go forward, he goes back - there is no standing position.

There is nothing sadder than the life of women who only knew how to be beautiful.

In jealousy there is more pride than love.

Give a man what he wants and you will deprive him of the meaning of life.

Worse than yesterday can only be tomorrow.

"Where there are few words, they have weight" - Shakespeare.

I've been hit over 9,000 times in my career. I lost almost 300 matches. 26 times I was trusted to make the decisive shot and I missed. I have failed so many times in my life. That is why I succeeded.

The most difficult thing in a dispute is not so much to defend your point of view as to have a clear idea about it.

Born to crawl, crawl everywhere.

"We can speak frankly about our shortcomings only with those who recognize our virtues."

"It is not enough to have a goal in life, you must be able to shoot accurately."

Do not wish for people what you wish for yourself, you may have different tastes

We have learned to fly like birds and swim like fish, but we still have to learn to simply walk the earth like brothers.

Too many people think about protection instead of thinking about opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death.

There can be a great fire in our soul. But no one can ever come to warm himself with him, because those passing by see only a wisp of smoke.

What is the end of the world for a caterpillar is a birthday for a butterfly.

Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.

I want to go to hell, not heaven. There I can enjoy the company of popes, kings and dukes, while heaven is inhabited only by beggars, monks and apostles.

Hurry up to live in time to start all over again.

Don't grow wings if you don't know where to fly.

My nights are better than your days.

Be careful in your desires, otherwise they may come true.

If I, yielding to requests, began to write about myself, it would be a mournful book - "Fate is a whore" © Ranevskaya

My mindset: ask less questions and eat ice cream until it melts.

When you are not needed, but you are - this is a terrible situation, humiliating you first of all

One woman is DIFFERENT from another: not better, not worse, just different...

A screw driven in with a hammer sits tighter than a nail driven in with a screwdriver.

Love is like a tree, it grows by itself, takes deep roots in our whole being and often continues to turn green and bloom even on the ruins of our heart.

Life is given once, and it is possible even less often.

Sometimes love goes away on its own

Neither touched the heart nor the mind.

When a woman chooses a lover, it is not so important for her whether she likes him, as whether other women like him.

When I eat - I am deaf and dumb, cunning and fast, and devilishly smart ...

Men appreciate the most material in women - beauty, and women in men - the most ephemeral: reliability.

A woman, perhaps, has not yet created a single great invention, but she has created all the great inventors.

A woman never notices what is done for her, but she will always notice what is not done for her.

A woman in love is more likely to forgive a greater indiscretion than a small infidelity.

If you want to force a woman to change her mind, you must categorically agree with her.

Women have only one means to make us happy and thirty thousand means to make us unhappy.

Women - like cats - often love not the owner more, but the house.

Women are absolutely natural and consistent in their inconstancy...

Women are a special people: if you compliment them, they take it for the truth, if you tell the truth, they are offended.

Women are not born, they are made.

A woman who loves boldly does not try to be masculine and condescending to pressing problems - she is just a woman, before whose femininity any worldly turmoil respectfully bows and recedes.

I want to love you, but not hold you. I want to appreciate you without reasoning. I want to join you, but not invade you. I want to ask, but not demand. I want to help, but not to reproach for inability. If we both want it, then we can meet.

Do not boast that your wife is the best: women may be offended, and men will want to make sure.

If you persuade a woman for a very long time, she will think that you are only capable of talking.

Married life is war every day and truce every night.

Do not grieve if your wife had someone before you: it is worse if she has someone after.

The only real mistake is not correcting your past mistakes.

There are two ways to command women. But nobody knows them.

A man, even if he could understand what a woman thinks, he still would not believe.

Friendship between a man and a woman is based on the hope of one of the parties that this is not just a friendship.

In love, one always kisses, and the other only turns the cheek.

Women don't like timid men. Cats don't like wary rats.

Men are always right and women are never wrong.

A career is a wonderful thing, but it cannot warm anyone on a cold night.

The baby is a great example of a ruling minority.

Becoming a father is very easy. Being a father, on the other hand, is hard.

call rule. The phone you're looking at never rings.

God created woman later because he did not want to listen to advice when creating a man.

The more women strive to be free, the more unhappy they become.

A friend is a person who knows everything about you - and yet loves you.

The loved one is forgiven what others are not forgiven, and they are not forgiven what they forgive others.

If a woman hates you, then she loved you, loves or will love you.

Nobody becomes a good person by accident.

The most annoying thing is when your dream comes true for someone else.

Difficulties are the easiest to create.

Where is the beginning of the end with which the beginning ends.

A beautiful woman usually suffers from two diseases at once: delusions of grandeur and delusions of persecution.

If a person is happy for more than one day, then something is being hidden from him.

A true friend is someone who will hold your hand and feel your heart.

All girls are natural angels, but when their wings are broken, they have to fly on a broomstick.

Set big goals for yourself - it's harder to miss them!

The average woman prefers to be beautiful over smart because the average man sees better than he thinks.

Paradox: When you put 6 socks in the washing machine, you only take out 5.

When the toilet is closed, you want to pay for its use.

The client does not know what he wants until he sees what he received.

When there is nothing left to do, many do just that.

Everything that is good in life is either illegal, or immoral, or leads to obesity.

So that you live as you are sorry!

The day was not in vain!

If you cannot change the situation, change your attitude towards it.

Short roads differ from long roads in that they charge a toll. And on dark roads they like to announce the price at the end of the road...

Happiness is that you do not notice when it is, and you notice when it is not ...

I'm made from a man's rib to protect his heart

Very often we choose not from what we want to have, but from what we are afraid to lose.

You don’t sleep all day, you don’t eat all night - of course, you get tired ...

Conscience is the wealth of a person, and we - students - are a poor people ....

A genius sleeps in any of us, and every day it gets stronger.

I didn't even think about what you thought!

Everyone knows that happiness is not in money, but everyone wants to see for themselves.

Keychain is such a small figurine that allows you to lose all the keys at once.

Gorilka is not Ukrainian vodka, it is a small humanoid monkey.

By the time you find a place in the sun, it's already evening.

Everyone has children, butterflies have children, fish, birds, even dogs. Only the pencil has no children, because it has an elastic band on the end!

Love is an electric current that runs from head to toe. And it hits the point where a son or daughter is born.

Let us live cool, so that we don’t want to change our lives! Falling in love is a reason for temptation, let's seduce each other !!!

Only those who feel fear in their hearts have courage,

Who looks into the abyss, but looks with pride in his eyes.

No wonder women don't have time for anything: just look at their tiny watch.

Only one person understood me; and, to tell the truth, he did not understand me either.

Life is a race in which everyone strives to get ahead in order to come to the finish line last.

Only on your birthday you will find out how many unnecessary things exist in the world.

My conscience is clear because I never use it.

Men love beautiful women more than smart women because it is easier for them to look rather than think.

Well hanging tongue always itches.

It's good to do nothing, and then relax.

Never sport with a fool, he will bring you down to his level and beat you on his territory.

You may not be mine, but I am yours.

The most irresistible cosmetics for women is powder for men's brains!

Never eat the last cutlet from the pan: one cutlet will not fill you up, and you will have to wash the empty pan.

So many good cute girls .... I alone as an exception to all the rules ...

When there is no woman next to a man, he starts doing stupid things. When a woman is not next to a man ... she starts to do dirty tricks.

It is much easier to get forgiveness later than it is to get permission first.

"The task - to make a person happy - was not part of the plan for the creation of the world."

How we live is a state secret, why is it a commercial one!

When I was born, I was so amazed that I didn’t talk to anyone for 2 years!

A woman is like a weapon: you cannot play with her.

Life, no matter how you curse it, is still worth living.

A woman is a danger to every paradise...

You don't have to have friends, you have to be friends with them...

It's bad to live, people die from it...

There are always at least two truths...

Doing bullshit at work develops hearing, peripheral vision, reaction and vigilance in general ...

Loneliness is bad because few people can endure themselves for a long time ...

A virgin is no better than a debauchee - both, in essence, think about the same thing.

The best way to get rid of temptation is to give in to it..

How long I live, I can’t understand two things: where does the dust come from and where does the money go

Better to do it and regret it than to regret not doing it.

Following the law of a sandwich, we can conclude that if a sandwich is spread on both sides, then it will hang in the air.

I have everything but money and happiness.

Your joy at the onset of a clear sunny morning will be incomplete if it suddenly becomes clear to you that it is Monday.

If they try to drag you into a win-win lottery, this means that you will not leave without losing.

The registry office is a place where love is rejected.

Avoiding praise is a request to repeat.

Tell me what you're thinking and I'll tell you what.

All gods were immortal.

Fools die on Fridays, and who else will die when there are two days off ahead.

If Eve did not cheat on Adam, then why did humanity evolve from apes?

It's good to be brave, but scary...

The later the ambulance arrives, the more accurate its diagnosis...

If you are late for work, then you have it.

A negative result is also a result, especially if it is an HIV result.

You have to live in such a way that you envy yourself.

Everyone knows that our life is a game, but how to play it...

If you're arguing with an idiot, he's probably doing the same.

No one can bring us to our knees! We lay, and we will lie!

If a man is a goat, this does not mean that he is a beast in bed.

In a woman, everything should be fine - do not stick anything into her!

Life is like a piano: the key is black, the key is white, the lid....(

The ransom demands of the terrorists have been met. The terrorists have been ransomed and bainki laid.

No one has died from knowledge yet, but I don’t want to take risks.

A wonderful phrase: good always triumphs over evil! So it's not clear who wins whom ...

April Fools' Day is an American folk holiday.

Life is like a dog sled: if you don't go ahead, you see the same thing all the time.

Happiness is when the desired coincides with the inevitable.

Every time, leaving the hairdresser, I am tormented by the same question - why did they ask me how I want to cut my hair?

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it was.

Love is like war: easy to start, hard to end, impossible to forget...

A bit of Vishnevsky:

I look good, but not often.

It’s easier for men, their mothers-in-law love ...

Yes, finally agree: I'm not stubborn!

I love without memory ... without memory ... whom? ..

Years go by, I'm still in my thirties...

Hindering happiness - you and being overweight.

Here is the scoundrel: he blushes - and does not lie!

Today pilaf without meat. And no rice.

What is this money? It's a giveaway!!!

Both my mother and the Ministry of Health warned ...

Significantly silent, but asks unambiguously!

In bed, he is like a god: he does not snore!

There is a lot of children in it: he does not like semolina porridge ...

I believe that you can ruin someone's life!

No matter what, no matter where, no matter who...

Time heals, but the outcome is always fatal...

All in soap, but I control myself ...

Fate, baring its teeth, smiled...

I have nothing to hide, but I really wanted to hide ...

Love is needed like money: daily.

I fell asleep without saying goodbye ... I'm getting a divorce!

I demand now, but not immediately!

It's time to put up, tomorrow is pay day...

😉 Friends, here are collected cool phrases, aphorisms and sayings of great people. Perhaps you will discover something new for yourself.

Cool quotes and aphorisms

"It's not shameful to be poor, it's shameful to be cheap."

"Only three kinds of people will tell you the truth: children, drunk people, and angry people."

"Who are we not to forgive each other's offenses, even if God forgives us our sins."

“Someday later” is the most dangerous disease that will sooner or later bury your dreams with you ... "

“If you think that the Universe is sitting and inventing problems and illnesses for you, then you have delusions of grandeur. She just makes your thoughts come true."

“You can not beat small children and defenseless animals! They can't answer you in kind."

“Every person has virtues for which it is worth forgiving shortcomings.”

“For the health of parents, one should not drink, but pray.”

"Jealousy is the recognition that someone is better than you."

“What is our destiny, if not the manifestation of our will and reason in the midst of an inert mass of circumstances that life presents to us.”

“Today is the best day of my life, because Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow hasn't come yet!

“Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.”

"Use the hot air balloon rule: throw away everything you don't need to gain altitude."

“You need to live in such a way that everyone who communicates with you later regrets that you are not around.”

“Man today is a product of many millions of generations from the creation of the world. Don't try to change it. Take what you have!”

“In addition to love and respect for loved ones, you need to have a sense of tact not to cross the line of their personal space.”

"Love those you sleep with if you can't sleep with those you love."

"Time is money"? No! Time is more valuable than any money!

"You need to be better than yesterday, not better than others"

“Now there is no time. Tomorrow there will be no strength. And the day after tomorrow we won't be here. Don't put off anything. Live here and now! »

“Do good! Or at least don't be mean."

“Remember us, for we also lived, loved and laughed ...” (about the dead)

famous people quotes

😉 Cool phrases!

"The body is the least a woman can give a man." R. Rollan

“Why should we hate each other? We are all one, carried away by the same planet, we are the crew of the same ship.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“Children are holy and pure. You can’t make them a toy of your mood.” A.P. Chekhov

“Perhaps in this world you are just a person, but for someone you are the whole world.”

“The best remedy for resentment is forgiveness.” Seneca

“Man is the product of his own thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes." Mahatma Gandhi

"Your success depends on the habits you develop over time." Brian Tracy

"You are controlled by the one who makes you angry." Lao Tzu

“There is no time for a person in the city. There are no people, there are functions: a postman, a salesman, a neighbor who interferes ... you value a person in the desert.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"In this world, only death and taxes are inevitable." Benjamin Franklin

“Don't imitate others. Find yourself and be yourself." Dale Carnegie

“The whole secret to public speaking success is talking to people, not speaking in front of them!” Radislav Gandapas

"The most important thing in women's clothing is the woman who wears it." Yves Saint Laurent

Wise Women Quotes

"Drunken people are easier to control!" Catherine II
“You need just enough money to not feel humiliated.” Alla Pugacheva
"My only mistake: for three-quarters of my life I thought that everything was still ahead." Alisa Freinlich
“People who do not feel love for themselves, as a rule, do not know how to forgive.” Louise Hay
“A minimum of cosmetics. Invest in skin and health, not decorative paint."
“I do not recognize the word “play”. You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You have to live on the stage." Faina Ranevskaya
“Expecting gratitude is stupid, and being ungrateful is vile.” Larisa Guzeeva
“If each of us had to kill with our own hands an animal that will be eaten, then millions would become vegetarians!” Brigitte Bardot