Death is an integral part of life, and sooner or later any child learns about its existence. This usually happens when the baby sees a dead bird, mouse or other animal for the first time in his life. It also happens that he receives the first knowledge about death under more tragic circumstances, for example, when a family member dies or dies. It is quite expected that this question, so frightening for adults, will sound: What happened? Why does the grandmother (dad, aunt, cat, dog) lie motionless and not talk?
Even very young children are able to distinguish living from non-living and sleep from something more frightening. Usually, for fear of traumatizing the child's psyche, parents try to bypass the topic of death and begin to tell the child that "the kitty got sick and was taken to the hospital." "Dad left and will return when you are already quite big", etc. But is it worth giving false hope?
Often behind such explanations, in fact, there is a desire to spare not the child's psyche, but his own. Young children still do not understand the meaning of such a concept as "forever", "for good", they consider death a reversible process, especially in the light of how it is presented in modern cartoons and films, where characters either die or move to another world and turn into funny ghosts. In children, the idea of \u200b\u200bnon-being is extremely blurred. But for us, adults, perfectly aware of the gravity of what happened, it is often very, very difficult to talk about the death of loved ones. And the big tragedy is not that the child will have to say that daddy will never return, but that he himself will experience it again.
How traumatic death information is loved one, depends on what tone you will talk about this with the child, with what emotional message. At this age, children are traumatized not so much by the words as by the way we say them. Therefore, no matter how bitter the death of a loved one is for us, in order to talk with a child, one should gain strength and calmness in order not only to inform him about what happened, but also to talk, discuss this event, answer the questions that have arisen.
However, psychologists recommend telling children the truth. Parents should understand how much information and what quality their child is able to perceive, and should give him the answers that he will understand. In addition, it is usually difficult for young children to clearly formulate their question, so you need to try to understand what exactly worries the baby - he is afraid to be left alone, or he is afraid that mom and dad will not be too soon, he is afraid of dying himself or something else. And in such situations, believing parents find themselves in a more advantageous position, because they can tell their child that the soul of their grandmother (dad or other relative) flew to heaven to God. This information is more forgiving than purely atheistic: "Grandma died and she is no more." And most importantly, the topic of death should not be taboo. We get rid of fears by speaking them, therefore, the child needs to talk about this topic and get answers to questions that are understandable for him.
It is still difficult for young children to understand why their loved one is carried away from home and buried in the ground. In their understanding, even dead people need food, light, communication. Therefore, it is quite possible that you will hear the question: "And when will they dig it up and bring it back?" a child may worry that his beloved grandmother is alone underground and will not be able to get out of there on her own, that she will feel bad, dark and scared there. Most likely, he will ask this question more than once, because it is difficult for him to assimilate the concept "forever", which is new to him. We must calmly answer that the dead are not dug up, that they remain in the cemetery for good, that the dead no longer need food and warmth, do not distinguish between light and night.
When explaining the phenomenon of death, one should not go into theological details about the Last Judgment, about the fact that souls good people go to Paradise, and the souls of the bad go to Hell and so on. It is enough for a small child to say that dad has become an angel and is now looking at him from heaven, that angels are invisible, you cannot talk to them or hug them, but you can feel them with your heart. If a child asks a question about why a loved one died, then you should not answer in the style of "God's will for everything", "God gave - God took", "it was so pleasing to God" - the child may begin to consider God an evil creature causing grief and suffering to people and separating him from loved ones.
The question often arises: to take or not to take children to the cemetery for burial? Definitely - not small. The age at which the child will be able to survive the oppressive environment of the burial, when the adult psyche does not always withstand, is purely individual. The sight of people sobbing, a hole dug, a coffin lowered into the grave is not for the child's psyche. Let the child, if possible, say goodbye to the deceased at home.
Sometimes adults wonder why a child reacts sluggishly to the death of a loved one, does not cry or grieve. This is because children are not yet able to experience grief in the same way as adults. They are not fully aware of the tragedy of what happened and, if they do, then inside and in a different way. Their experiences can be expressed in the fact that the baby will often talk about the deceased, remember how they communicated, spent time together. These conversations must be supported, so the child gets rid of anxiety and worries. At the same time, if you noticed that after the death of a loved one, the baby developed the habit of biting nails, sucking a finger, he began to wet the bed, became more irritable and whiny, then his feelings are much deeper than you might think, he is not able to cope with them, it is necessary to consult a psychologist.
Memorial rituals adopted by believers help to cope with grief. Together with the child, go to the cemetery and put a bunch of flowers on the grave - grandmother will be pleased. Together with him, go to the church and light a candle on the eve, read a simple prayer. You can take out an album with photographs and tell your kid about how good your grandparents were, recall pleasant episodes from life associated with them. The thought that having left the earth, the deceased did not completely disappear, that in this way we can maintain at least such a connection with him, it has a calming effect and gives us hope that life continues after death.
The ABC of education
Victory over death and hell - that's what Christ accomplished. “I wish the resurrection of the dead and the life of the century to come” - this is our hope and goal, and not at all “I await in horror the coming of the Antichrist,” as it often happens now. The fact that glee and hope have been replaced by fear signals something very bad in the history of Christianity.
Implicitly, the fear of the Antichrist correlates with the phantasm of the living dead - one of the main symbolic figures of our time. Our era, judging by the media, in principle does not accept the Christian hope for the resurrection of the dead. She is only capable of reviving the archaic fear of the dead.
The victory over death, the hope for the resurrection of the dead - this is central to Christianity.
A small book (record of four lectures) about, probably, the main thing in Christianity - the victory over death. "What does this mean for us - those who will die anyway?" - the main question of Father Alexander. But not the only one.
Father Alexander Schmemann expresses important ideas about the relationship between Christianity and secularism in the Liturgy of Death, because the second part of the book's title is “modern culture”. One of these thoughts - “there is a consumer only in Christianity” - is precise, sharp, unfortunately, not developed.
Secularism is a product of the Christian world. Secular attitude towards death - “we will not notice it; it doesn't make sense. " How could the world, brought up on "Christ is risen from the dead", come to such an understanding? Christianity, the religion of the resurrection of the dead and the aspirations of the century to come, at a certain stage "forgot" the eschatological dimension. "Victory over death", hope in the Kingdom "dropped out" from real life.
Why it happened and what to do about it - tells about. Alexander.
A piercing book about the death of a loved one, in some places approaching the boldness of Job. Lewis wrote these diaries after the death of his wife Joy. Perhaps, The Pain of Loss is Lewis's toughest book: why does God endow people with happiness, and then cruelly deprive them of it?
Joy Davidman (1915-1960; her cover photo) was an American Jewish writer who was a member of the American Communist Party. She first wrote to Lewis to challenge his arguments in defense of the faith. Joy was sick with cancer: they got married, confident in her imminent death. However, Joy is in remission. At the same time, Lewis began to experience severe pain: he was diagnosed with blood cancer. Lewis was convinced that he had atoned for his wife's suffering with his suffering. However, two years later, the illness returned to Joy and she died. Three years later, Lewis himself died.
Reflecting on these events, Lewis asks: “ Is it reasonable to believe that God is cruel? Can He really be so cruel? What, He is a cosmic sadist, an evil cretin?"Lewis guides us through all the stages of despair and horror before the nightmare of our world and at the end it seems to see the light ..." The pain of loss "is a deep and honest reflection (or a cry?) About joy and suffering, love and family, death and world nonsense , about honesty and self-deception, religion and God. In The Pain of Loss, there is no rational argument typical of Lewis: only a desperate standing before the Lord.
Another book written by a husband who has lost his wife. In addition, its author served as a cemetery priest.
“No… Whatever you say to your heart, but it is akin to grieving over the loss of loved ones; no matter how you hold back the tears, they involuntarily flow in a stream over the grave, in which the kindred, precious dust is hidden.
He hears from everywhere: "Don't cry, don't be faint-hearted." But these exclamations are not plaster on wounds, but often inflict new wounds on the heart. - "Don't be faint-hearted." But who can say that Abraham was faint-hearted, and he also wept, wept for his wife Sarah "
« All of them [the deceased] are, of course, alive - but they live a different life, not the life that you and I are living now, but the life that we will come to in due time, and everyone will come sooner or later. Therefore, the question of this - another - life, which is eternal life and which we celebrate, celebrating Easter - the Resurrection of Christ, is especially close to us, it concerns not just our mind, but, perhaps, to a greater extent concerns our heart"- Osipov writes in The Posthumous Life of the Soul.
Osipov's Posthumous Life of the Soul is a short and simple presentation of the Orthodox teaching on life after death.
« But who doomed me to the eternal torment of hell, in which, like a drop in the ocean, my poor earthly life dissolves? Who, by his mighty curse, gave me into the slavery of irresistible necessity? Is it God who mercifully created me? There is nothing to say: mercy is good, Divine love is good! - Create me without even asking if I want it, and then doom me to eternal torment of senseless decay!"- boldly, like Job, Karsavin asks in his" Poem of Death ".
In this work, Karsavin expressed his innermost thoughts. Like Petersburg Nights, The Poem of Death has an artistic form and is addressed to Karsavin's beloved Elena Cheslavovna Skrzhinskaya. Her name in the "Poem of Death" is rendered by the diminutive Lithuanian "Elenite".
In one of the letters to Skrzhinskaya (dated January 1, 1948) Karsavin writes “ It was you who connected metaphysics in me with my biography and life in general", And further on the" Poem of Death ":" For me this little book is the most complete expression of my metaphysics, which coincided with my life, coincided with my love.».
« The Jewish woman was burned at the stake. - The executioner chains her to the post. And she asks: has she become this way, is it convenient for him ... Why should she care about the executioner? Or so he would rather cope with his business? Or is he - fate itself, inexorable, soulless - still the last person? - He will not answer and, probably, will not even feel anything. But perhaps something is stirring in his soul, responding to her meek question; and his hand will tremble for a moment; and the compassion of man, unknown to him, unknown to anyone, would seem to ease her mortal torment. And the torment is still ahead, unbearable, endless. And until the last moment - already alone, completely alone - she will scream and writhe, but she will not call death: death will come by itself, if only ...».
« My mortal melancholy does not pass and will not pass, but - it will come strong, unbearable. I am not mad about her, I am not dying; and I will not die: doomed to immortality. My torment is greater than that from which people die and go mad. If you die, there is no torment with you; if you go crazy, you will not know either yourself or her. Here there is no end, no end; yes and no beginning - lost».
This book is composed of various speeches, lectures, sermons (before confession, at the funeral service, etc.) by Father Alexander, united by the theme of life and death.
“Should Christians, as Christians, absolutely believe in the immortality of the human soul? And what does immortality really mean in the space of Christian thought? Such questions only seem rhetorical. Etienne Gilson, in his Gifford Lectures, found it necessary to make the following striking statement: In general, - he said, - Christianity without immortality is quite meaningful, and the proof of this is that at first it was understood in this way. Christianity is truly meaningless without the resurrection of man».
This book covers the main problem of human life - death. The "Mystery of Death" examines its insolubility by "external" philosophy and the Christian vision of death. The book widely presents the opinion of the Holy Fathers on this topic.
In fact, the entire Sacrament of Death is an attempt to once again give the Church's only answer to death - an explication of the story of the Passion of Christ. Vasiliadis writes: “X ristos had to die in order to bequeath to humanity the fullness of life. It was not a necessity for peace. It was the need for Divine love, the need for Divine order. This sacrament is impossible for us to comprehend. Why did the true life have to be revealed through the death of the One Who is the Resurrection and Life? (Jn 14: 6). The only answer is that salvation was to be a victory over death, over human mortality.».
Perhaps the best book on the posthumous state of mind. Weight, thoroughness and absence of myth-making fantasies give out a doctor in the author. So the combination of a scientist and a Christian in one person gives Kalinovsky's exposition the necessary harmony and versatility.
The theme of "transition" is the life of the soul after physical death. The testimonies of people who have survived clinical death and returned "back" either spontaneously or, in most cases, after resuscitation, experiences before death, during a serious illness, are being analyzed.
Anthony Surozhsky was both a surgeon and a shepherd. Therefore, like no one else, he could fully talk about life, sickness and death. Anthony Surozhsky said that in his approach to these issues he “cannot separate in himself a person, a Christian, a bishop and a doctor”.
« But the being who has received the mind and reason is a man, but is not a soul in itself; therefore, a person should always remain and consist of soul and body; and it is impossible for him to remain like that unless he is resurrected. For if there is no resurrection, then the nature of men as men will not remain"- Athenagoras teaches about the physical and mental unity of man in the essay" On the Resurrection of the Dead "- one of the first (and, moreover, the best!) Texts on this topic.
« [The Apostle Paul] inflicts a mortal blow on those who demean the body and condemn our flesh. The meaning of his words is as follows. We do not want to lay off the flesh, as he says so, but corruption; not the body, but death. The other is the body and the other is death; the other is the body and the other is decay. Neither the body is corruption, nor corruption is the body. True, the body is perishable, but it is not perishable. The body is mortal, but not death. The body was the work of God, and corruption and death were introduced by sin. So, he says, I want to take off the alien, not my own. And the alien is not a body, but decay and death adhering to it"- Christians fight death for the flesh. This is what John Chrysostom teaches in his Discourse on the Resurrection of the Dead.
Conversations about the death of one of the best Russian preachers - Bishop-philosopher Innokenty of Kherson.
Collection of letters of Theophan the Recluse. Sickness and death are the fate of every person and one of the most tragic questions of theology. Of course, in "Sickness and Death" there is no systematic teaching of Theophan the Recluse. But there are many specific advice and guidance in specific life situations. And behind this multitude one can discern a certain unified vision of these issues by St. Theophan.
Here are a few headlines from Sickness and Death, taken at random, - perhaps they will give some idea of \u200b\u200bthe teachings of Theophan the Recluse: "Sickness is the work of God's Wisdom", "Serving the sick is serving Christ", "Sickness from God for our salvation", “We must prepare for the afterlife judgment”, “The afterlife of the dead”, “How to justify yourself at the Last judgment?”.
“Death is a great sacrament. She is the birth of man from earthly temporary life into eternity. When performing the mortal sacrament, we lay off our gross shell - a body and a soul being, subtle, ethereal, we pass into another world, into the abode of beings homogeneous to the soul. This world is inaccessible to the gross organs of the body, through which, during our stay on earth, the feelings that belong, however, to the soul itself, operate. The soul that has emanated from the body is invisible and inaccessible to us, like other objects of the invisible world. We see only when a mortal secret action is performed the breathlessness, the sudden lifelessness of the body; then it starts to decompose, and we hasten to hide it in the ground; there it becomes a victim of corruption, worms, oblivion. So countless generations of people died out and forgotten. What has happened and is happening with the soul that has left the body? This remains for us, with our own means of knowledge, unknown.
One of the most popular texts of the "folk" Orthodoxy of the Middle Ages. The Life consists of three different texts written by Vasily's student Gregory Mnykh: the Life itself (the text offered here, unfortunately, is rather a condensed retelling), and two visions on eschatological themes - the famous “The Ordeals of Theodora” (Vasily’s student) and “ Vision of the Last Judgment "-" private "and" general "eschatology, respectively. The bright, expressive eschatology of The Life of Vasily the New had a tremendous impact on the consciousness and culture of the Middle Ages.
Vasily Novy is a hermit who accidentally fell under the suspicion of the authorities and suffered innocently. The text describes the humility and meekness of the saint under torture remarkably: the saint is silent directly to his own detriment - he does not want to participate in all this. Miraculously saved and remains to live in Constantinople as a vagabond. After his release, Vasily criticizes the authorities, heals, instructs students, and plays the fool. Through his prayers, Gregory is visited by visions that make up the main body of the text.
"The Ordeals of Theodora", like the "Vision of the Last Judgment", should in no way be perceived as dogmatic texts. These are apocrypha, fiction, "spiritual novels" - as Kazansky puts it - symbols full of deep meaning, but by no means "reportage." Here are a few comments of theologians on this matter. Seraphim (Rose): " Even a baby is clear that you cannot literally take descriptions of ordeals."; St. Nikodim Svyatorets: " Those who talked that the souls of the dead righteous and sinners for forty days are found on earth and visit the places where they lived ”, sow prejudices and myths. For such statements are “incredible and no one should take them for truth"; A. Kuraev (from whose note we took the quoted quotations): “ the text [of the Life] is incorrect because it leaves no room for God's Judgment. The Savior said that "the Father handed over all the judgment to the Son," but in this book the demons rule all the judgment". Here are some more words of A. I. Osipov: “ Ordeals ... for all the simplicity of their earthly depiction in Orthodox hagiographic literature have a deep spiritual, heavenly meaning. ... This is a judgment of conscience and a test of the spiritual state of the soul in the face of God's love, on the one hand, and devilish passionate temptations, on the other».
One of the most brilliant stories in world literature. Before death, an ordinary person opens the emptiness of his life, and at the same time, some new reality opens up to him ...
Socio-philosophical fiction with a detective plot. Most of the inhabitants voluntarily fell into suspended animation, believing in the promises of future immortality. The novel tells about an investigation into the abuse of the Hibernation Center. Protesters against potential immortality are based on Christian views of death and immortality. It's remarkable how Simak shows the faith of modern people:
“... He, probably, simply does not exist, and I made a mistake in choosing the path, appealing to the nonexistent and never existed God. Or maybe I called by the wrong name ...
… - But they say, - the man smiled, - about eternal life. That you don't have to die. What then is the use of God? Why then still some kind of life? ...
... And why should she, Mona Campbell, single-handedly seek an answer that only God can give - if it exists? ... "
Perhaps this trait - a combination of sadness, uncertainty, faith, despair - is the most attractive in the novel. Its main theme, as is already clear, is the social and existential position of a person before the possibility of changing his biological nature.
“Unforgettable. Anglo-American Tragedy "- a black tragicomedy about the modern (here - American) attitude to death: commercialized, not feeling the mystery in it, wanting to close his eyes, hungry for comfort - that's all; the smiling corpse of the "unforgettable". In fact, "Unforgettable" is a Christian satire on the godless death industry.
George MacDonald is a Scottish novelist and poet and priest. He can be called the founder of fantasy. His prose was highly praised by Auden, Chesterton, Tolkien, Lewis.
The Gifts of the Christ Child is a Christmas story, but not at all Dickensian. The tragic story of how death brought the family together; about how the Lord is present in our lives. In essence, the story is that true joy is known only after the Cross - resurrected.
Collection of texts by Russian philosophers, theologians and writers about death: Radishchev, Dostoevsky, Solovyov, Fedorov, Tolstoy, Rozanov, E. Trubetskoy, Berdyaev, Bakhtin, Shestov, Florovsky, N. Lossky, Fedotov, Karsavin, Druskin, Bunin, Bulgakov and others ...
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Yesterday I turned on the TV for once and saw a program about children's books. The topic was just about children's books about death. The authors of the program recommend reading such books with the child, explaining to him the meaning of what has been written. Have recommended several for different age groups.
Below are excerpts from the book "The kindest in the world" by Ulf Nilsson, illustrations by Eva Erickson.
The story begins with the fact that one day the girl Esther finds a dead bumblebee on the windowsill and decides to bury him. Esther Friend (on behalf of whom the story is told) and her younger brother Putte are helping. Since Putte is very small, the older children explain to him what death is.
After the funeral of the bumblebee, the girl decides that the guys should bury all dead animals, birds, insects in the forest ...
Having buried many animals during the story, Esther comes to the conclusion:
At the end of the book, the burial ceremony of a thrush named Little Dad is described (children gave names to all animals)
Maria Poryadina about this book like this:
Children do not even think to profane the sacred - to scoff at sacred rituals, to scoff at the grief of human loss, to parody the solemn rite of burial. They just take death into the game - as naturally as they take everything else into the game: cooking dinner, getting married, buying apples at the store. They play funerals as seriously as they play "visiting" or "mothers and daughters" - and no adult, if he is sane, would scold children for such a game.
If the adult is sane, this clarification is necessary. A reasonable person, having read the book, will see that there is nothing dangerous and frightening in it. For children, it is vital, but for adults - I must admit - terribly funny.
But a person who is not too intelligent may be shocked by the book: there are too many dead ...
Still, Swedish teachers - and Swedish children - are freer. They are not afraid of "forbidden" topics and "unusual" actions: they simply do not focus on them.
Our children - here in Russia - would have gotten under the first number: both for "touching all sorts of nasty things", and for taking a suitcase and a blanket without asking, and for the process itself - for playing what something unusual, that is - from the point of view of an adult reinsurer - indecent.
And for the Swedes, everything is fine.
It is no coincidence that the Swedish Astrid Lindgren Foundation carries the exhibition "I have the right to play" around the world. It is no coincidence that Lindgren herself argued that you can always play everything. "As soon as we did not flirt to death!" - she wondered, already middle-aged, recalling her free childhood in the vicinity of the Nes farm. Everything was a game - and everything became life that goes on.
The publishers intend the book for family reading, and rightly so, because "The kindest in the world" is quite a two-address thing. Children understand it as an ordinary story from the life of their peers, absolutely traditional; Adults, however, in this story fancies a certain smack of "dramatic absurdity", which translates a simple plot into the area of \u200b\u200b"eternal questions" about the place and purpose of man in life.
The book turned out to be very life-affirming: after all, the children in it literally playing with death! And since death can become a game, then it is not terrible. That is, like any other game, it can be postponed indefinitely. And live happily ever after.
For those who are already forced to learn to accept loss, to live with it:
11. Danilova Anna, "From Death to Life". There is a lot of religion, but there are also stories that pierce right through. Including the story of Ani herself. "Amputation. Year One "and" Year Two "- the first of the read where I recognized myself, my feelings, my emotions.
12. Frederica de Graaf "There will be no separation." A book imbued with the deep confidence of Frederica herself that there really will be no separation, soaked in love.
13. Ginzburg Genevieve, "Widow to Widow". In the early days, the only thing that can be heard is the experience of the survivors. A comparison that comes to mind: a person after the operation can only eat liquid oatmeal, whether he likes it or not, whether he likes it or not, this is the only thing that he can eat, and this will give him the strength to live on, to recover.
14. Kate Boydell, "Death ... And How To Get Over It." The real story of a real woman. This is exactly the book of advice. I don't really like this, because I consider advice as meaningless, everyone has their own path and their own reaction, grief cannot be experienced according to instructions. In any case, it has a lot of useful things.
15. Irwin Yalom “Life without fear of death. Peering into the sun. " A famous psychotherapist, I undertook to read this book on recommendation. But his method of dealing with the fear of death is that after death there is nothing. Since this concept terrifies me, I could not finish reading.
The most poignant, pure, without advice, teachings or lengthy reflections are books about teenagers, written in the first person or about them. At least that's how I perceived it.
16. Jody Picoult, Angel for Sister. The story of a family with a child with cancer. Mom, dad, two daughters and a son. And everyone's character, everyone's emotions are revealed very deeply
17. Alessandro D "Avenia," White as milk, red as blood, about a teenager in love with a girl with leukemia
18. Jesse Andrews, Me, Earl and the Dying Girl. There is also a girl with leukemia, but main character he is not in love with her, he is not even her friend initially, he comes at the insistence of his mother.
19. Jenny Downham, "While I'm Alive." The main character is sick, the story of a young girl trying to realize her desires, already realizing that she has very little time for this.
20. John Green, The Fault in Our Stars. And here both teenagers are sick, they met at a support group. A very beautiful and sad story.
21. A.J.Betts, Zach and Mia. And also both teenagers are sick, they met at the hospital.
22. Patrick Ness, The Voice of the Monster. A 13-year-old boy's mother dies. About psychological protection, acceptance, perception of very difficult and difficult things through images.
23. Johanna Tiedel, Stars Shining on the Ceiling. A teenage girl's mom dies. Also about the stages of adoption, but from an everyday point of view.
24. E. Schmitt, Oscar and the Pink Lady. A dying boy who managed to live a whole life in 10 days.
25. Antonova Olga, "Confession of a Mother". A real story, actually a diary. Desperate struggle for a daughter with brainstem glioma.
26. Esther Grace Earl, This Star Will Never Go Out. Diary of a girl who died of cancer. Not fiction, just a teen diary. Even more like a book of memory.
Adult stories. They range from very catchy and thought-provoking to annoying. It is scary to think that neither a healthy lifestyle, nor money, nor medical education, nor the most exotic methods and technologies still guarantee recovery. But the majority - this is amazing - manage to feel happy, come into harmony with themselves and the world before leaving.
27. Hitchens Christopher, The Last 100 Days. A story written in the first person. The disease did not break the excellent sense of humor and sarcasticity, at some moments it is impossible to refrain from laughing. The wife wrote the last chapter.
28. Zorza Victor, “The path to death. Live to the end. " Written by the father of a 25-year-old girl who died of melanoma in a few months. She spent her last days in a hospice, where she received such support and love that helped her to accept what happened to her. It was Victor Zorza who convinced Vera Millionshchikova to create the First Moscow Hospice.
29. Ken Wilber. Grace and endurance. There are a lot of discussions about life in general, about spirituality, meditation and so on. I honestly flipped through all this, reading only those directly related to history.
30. Tiziano Terzani. A very, oooo, verbose, albeit charismatic, author tells how he tried a huge number of techniques, traveled half the world, experienced all the delights of traditional and alternative medicine.
31. Garth Callahan Notes on Napkins. In short, a book about love. A parent's love for their child.
32. Eric Segal "Love Story". Just another story, when cancer quickly burst into the life of a young family. These stories are all very similar: fear, confusion, despair, struggle, acceptance. And each one is absolutely individual.
33. Pavel Vadimov. Lupetta. In general, it is not clear what Lupetta has to do with it. The feeling that the topic of cancer has been pulled up as an action-packed story to spice up a rather nasty story.
34. Buslov Anton, "Between life and death". A very famous story about fighting, strong character and belief in the best. About the feeling of incredible help and support, which responded very strongly. Anton's actually published blog.
35. Volkov Kirill, "A frivolous book about a tumor". And one more personal story told in the first person. When you read the experience of a specific person, a description of personally experienced emotions, with comments from the closest person who helped to go along this path - for me personally, this is a way of dealing with loneliness
36. Ray Kluun, "As long as we are near." A husband, let's say, adhering to the principles of a very open marriage, stayed with his wife dying of cancer, thereby acquiring the status of a hero and great martyr. I got a very nasty feeling from what I read.
37. Pausch, R., The Last Lecture. There are a lot of words, advice and morality, I don't like that and even thought about quitting, not having mastered even a third, but it was surprisingly carried away. A life-affirming book that helps to understand and accept.
38. Kharitonova Svetlana, “About us. Before and after loss. " Our own story, mine and my husband's. A significant difference from other stories is reflected in the title: I wrote about the illness and how I had to live after the loss. Most of the stories end with their last breath, and the feeling that either the whole world has disappeared further, or the fate of those who stayed here is no longer important against the background of the tragedy. The world has not disappeared and fate is important, we live on, although it is difficult, at the first stages it is prohibitive.
39. Henry Marsh, "Do No Harm." This book is not entirely about oncology, it is a book written by a neurosurgeon. It was interesting to read the opinion “from the other side of the surgical table”.
And some fiction.
40. Loginov Svyatoslav, "Light in the window". An interesting look at the afterlife. It is easy to read, at first the concept aroused many questions for me, but the book was imprinted much deeper than I thought, and over time it became clear that it gave me personal consolation.
41. Moyes Jodo, The Girl You Left Behind. About a strong woman who has gone through a loss, who has learned to live anew, has overcome her fears.
42. Werber Bernard, Thanatonauts, Empire of Angels, We are Gods. I read it long before what happened. In my opinion, a very life-affirming version of the afterlife.
43. Cecilia Ahern, “P.S. I love you". The girl's beloved husband died, but before he died, he wrote her letters, which she must open at the beginning of each month.
44. Flegg Fenny, "Paradise is Nearby." All books by this author are saturated with love, confidence, tenderness, and this one is no exception. The magic of letters, when sometimes even involuntarily, but it becomes a little easier.
45. Martin-Lugan Agnes, Happy People Read Books and Drink Coffee. Oddly enough, almost a love story. Her husband and child were killed, after a year of complete immersion in grief, the widow decided to change her life and leave for another city, chosen at random.
46. \u200b\u200bMatheson Richard, "Where Dreams May Come." I think it needs no introduction. About the fact that in the afterlife there is love, struggle and victory.
47. Muray Marie-Aude. Oh, Boy! Death is not a central character here, the book was included here because of the description of the experience of orphanhood.
48. Debbie McComber "Shop on Flower Street." Also very conditional on the topic, but one of the main characters suffered cancer with relapse.
49. Carol Rifka Brant, Tell the Wolves I'm Home. An excellent strong book - about loss, about illness, about experiencing grief when your emotions are "wrong", about acceptance.
50. Solzhenitsyn, Cancer Ward. Needs no annotation I guess. A very dark book. But then with a happy ending.
