How to respond to insults. How to competently respond to insults What to say if you are insulted

Helpful Hints

No one wants to just put up with the rudeness and rudeness that you can hear in public transport, at work, online, and just on the street.

No need to play the role of a victim, but learn to respond correctly to aggression towards you.

Obviously, for most people, rudeness towards them can negatively affect well-being, self-esteem and performance.

How to respond to rudeness

To be able to respond to rudeness, you first need to work on increasing self-esteem.

It is worth noting that it is not easy to be rude to a person with a strong spirit.

And yet, if you urgently need to learn how to communicate with a boor, you can use one or more methods of struggle.

responses to rudeness

calmness

When talking with such people, you should never show them that you are confused. Try to express your point of view frankly, firmly and openly.

Try not to get defensive and speak calmly and relaxed.

Most often, rude people are weak, envious people who find it difficult to get used to honesty and calmness, and sometimes they don’t know these words at all. They take energy for their negativity precisely from those people who succumb to rudeness and begin to get nervous. Don't let them feed on your nervousness.

sneezing

This method is more suitable as a reaction to prolonged rudeness.

If the person who is rude to you cannot stop, you may well help him to do this.

To begin with, try to listen to him calmly, until he himself is convinced that he is right. After that, sneeze loudly and defiantly - there will be a short pause in which you calmly say the phrase: "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit" and politely add: "So where did you end up?"

Aikido

Simply put: you to me, I to you. This method transfers the negativity of your interlocutor to him. You just need to agree with his attacks on you, thank you for the time and effort spent to emphasize your shortcomings.

You can even praise the interlocutor for attentiveness and those "advice" that you heard. Do it calmly and try not to show the causticity of your phrases.

It is worth noting that the more witnesses to the conflict will be, the better for you, because. a rude person is unlikely to receive the necessary approval from the outside, and most likely will cause laughter and jokes in his address.

boredom

A similar method can be used by administrators of forums, sites, blogs and groups in social networks. networks.

Despite the fact that most community members are familiar with the general rules, some still deliberately violate them, after which they express dissatisfaction in the administrators' personal messages due to the fact that they were denied access.

After all the arguments are over, these characters move on to outright rudeness and rudeness.

It's easiest to just ban, but if you want to prove you're right, try not to be emotional, describe in detail all the errors of the offender. At first, the interlocutor will resist and continue to "have fun" with rudeness, but when he realizes that they are communicating with him dryly, without emotions, he will simply fall behind.

Ignoring

Perhaps the most famous and simplest method of dealing with rudeness. Sometimes silence is not only effective and safe, but also beautiful.

If you don’t need anything from a rude person, or you are simply not psychologically ready to enter into a debate with him, or if the “interlocutor” is simply out of his mind and can harm your health, just ignore him. Rude people want to win your attention, do not give them this joy.

It is worth noting that it is also necessary to ignore correctly. No need to include an offensive look and sighs- These are signals that you paid attention to him. Do not show any emotions, a boor is an empty place for you.

How beautiful to respond to rudeness

There are several phrases that can be used when "skirmish" with a rude:

"Excuse me, is that all?"

"I had a better opinion of you"

"Rudeness doesn't suit you"

"Do you want a polite answer or the truth?"

"Why are you trying to look worse than you really are?"

"Like everyone else, I also have bad days. Don't be upset, you will succeed"

"Yes, of course, come in. May luck be on your side" (in case someone climbs out of line)

"It doesn't sound like the role is right for you. What do you really want?"

"Thank you for showing interest in my person"

"You want to hurt me? For what?"

How to respond to an insult

If you are accidentally or intentionally scolded, you should not take these words literally and take everything personally.

Understand that if the person who insulted you is in a bad mood or just not well educated, this does not mean that you are to blame.

In order to be able to respond correctly to insults, you must first of all know that the person who offends you in all possible ways is himself a victim, namely the victim of the obstinacy of his character.

Most often, those who "attack" and try to humiliate others are weak personalities who are simply not able to cope with negative emotions, which makes them splash out on others.

What to do in response to an insult

If insulted by a stranger

The best option is to ignore it. Just try not to notice the one who is trying to offend you. Of course, there are times when you need to act differently, but most often you need to act as if the stranger is not there, and his words are empty words.

If offended by a loved one

From the very beginning, try to dot the "I". You should calmly and directly tell him that the words spoken hurt you. The right step would be to discuss the situation.

If offended by a work colleague/boss

Under this set of circumstances, try to carefully avoid the conflict. If a colleague relentlessly insults and silence you does not help, try to answer with a neutral barb.

In the case of the boss, conflicts are not needed, which means that you do not respond to insults. Instead, imagine your manager as a naughty and pugnacious little child.

In your head, pat him on the head, feed him porridge and help him sit on the potty. This is the way psychologists recommend. You will not only endure insults, but also get a good mood, or at least it will cause a smile on your part and increase your efficiency. In addition, the boss may also pay attention to your stamina.

How to respond to an insult

The person who is trying to insult you wants to assert himself, stand out, which means you need to give him a cold answer, "Well, did you assert yourself at my expense?".

Listening to such a person, try to understand what the goal is, why they want to offend you.

* If you do not know how to respond to an insult, then you need to know one important thing - not wellit is necessary to reach mutual insults and rash reactions.

In addition to looking silly, you are also susceptible to manipulation, which can end up being a trap for you. You don't have to play by the rules that are imposed on you.

*Another main rule - respond to rudeness calmly without losing self-respect. But, it is worth noting that the cultural response to the "attack" of the boor most often does not produce any effect, because. The game takes place on someone else's territory and not by your rules.

* When it comes to trolling, or other similar situations, it is best to ignore the offender.

* It happens that you need to answer, but you obviously know that all your arguments simply will not work against a stubborn rude. In this case, the best option would be turn around and leave.

* The person who insulted you or is trying to do so may just have a bad day. Therefore, with you enough to ask: "Bad day?" . If a person is adequate, he will agree and may even ask for forgiveness.

But, when it comes to a troll, then such a question is not only inappropriate, but can also lead to additional insults against you.

* More often than not, responding to an insult is not a good strategy, and you can get away with just asking the person neutrally about what they just said to you. Try to pretend that you did not hear his words or did not pay attention to them. In this case, only a frank boor will continue his "attacks".

* If you find yourself in a situation where it is simply necessary to answer the offender, or you are strangled by the desire to do so, do not rush at him. The main thing is to be calm, cold in words and expressions. It is desirable to suppress insults with witty remarks and only after the interlocutor has finished his monologue.

* Sometimes an insult is more like a mockery. In this case, perhaps the best option would be to answer in the form of a joke, which not only does not offend the person, but also maintains a normal relationship.

One of the common mistakes that people make is trying to justify themselves, they say, "no, you're wrong, it's not my fault". Firstly, such a strategy can make you humiliated, and secondly, trying to justify yourself is simply pointless, because. an excuse, as a rule, no one listens.

uncomfortable questions

"How much?", "When will you get married?", "What is your salary?"- these questions are annoying, and despite the fact that asking them is a bad form, some still cannot restrain themselves.

Several situations can be considered, but first we note a few universal answers.

How to original answer

- "I'm amazed at your ability to ask questions that can lead to a dead end!"

- "You are an amazing woman (man). I was always amazed by your ability to ask uncomfortable (correct, difficult, rhetorical) questions!"

- "I'll be happy to try to answer your question, just answer you first, why are you so interested in this?"

- "And for what purpose are you interested in this?"

"Do you really want to talk about it?" If the answer is yes, then simply answer: "And I'm not very" - and end the dialogue with a smile.

If a person is not very pleasant to you, and you have no desire to communicate with him, especially after an incorrect question, you can coldly answer: "That's my fucking business."

- Ask again: "I understand correctly that ..."

Questions about money

When you are faced with an unpleasant question, you have every right not to give the interlocutor any specific answer. For example, to the question "How much do you earn?" you can evade the answer "Like most, the average salary in the industry is (significantly less than Abramovich)."

You can also answer this question with a counter question. For example, to the question "How much is the jacket?" you can ask the interlocutor how much his jacket costs. Another way to answer this question is significantly overestimate or underestimate the figure and then turn the conversation into a joke.

Questions about work

"What do you do?", "What do you do at work?".

When answering questions like this, psychologists advise you to name the profession that can give you more confidence in what you are doing. If your work is different, you are doing a lot of different things, you can sort out all the work for the month on the shelves. This way you will know what takes the most time.

Questions about personal life

"Why is there no girl (boyfriend)?", "When is the wedding?", "Why haven't you got married yet?".

Do not take such matters seriously. In response, you can ask the interlocutor why such an unusual question came to his mind. In this case, the interlocutor will be in an awkward situation.

There is another option - just answer directly, as it is. For example, to the question "Why one more (one)?" proudly admit that you are patiently looking for your soul mate, who would not leave you in difficult times.

The third option would be "mirroring". For example, "Do I understand correctly that you don't mind holding a candle over my bed?" , or "... that, today, your main task is to discuss my personal life?" , or "... that interest in other people's troubles is in the order of things for you?"

How to respond to rudeness

Hams can be found everywhere. These are people who often experience pressure on themselves, which leads to rudeness as a defense weapon.

Why are they rude

Reason 1: Despair

A person has a bad day - so he is rude. For example, a saleswoman who is tired for the whole working day, a client, a colleague, brought to stress.

Most often, such people, after throwing out all the anger on someone, feel guilty about themselves and may even apologize.

If you decide in such a situation to respond with the same weapon, then the feeling of guilt will go away and the person will think that being rude is normal.

Reason 2: Self-affirmation

When a boor humiliates another person, he feels superior to him, especially if this person, for one reason or another, cannot fight back the offender.

Usually such boors have, albeit not great, but still power. They believe that they can just take out their anger on those who depend on them and get away with it with impunity.

Reason 3: Wanting to be seen

If rudeness is an integral part of a person, then its roots can be hidden in childhood.

A child always wants attention and love from his parents. If he does not receive this, then he begins to be rude, so that at least somehow they pay attention to him. With age, a person uses the same strategy.

Responses to rudeness

Method 1: You don't have to take everything you say personally.

Often a person who is rude does not do it specifically to you - rather, it is anger at the world in general: ill-mannered youth, men are goats, etc. and only the rude man himself is white and fluffy.

One can only sympathize with such a boor, because. the world he lives in is not easy to live in. Remember, each person sees the world differently. If a boor says that you are an uneducated person, you can try to refute his statement with your knowledge, but this is unlikely to succeed.

Method 2: Ham should not become the master of the situation

Try not to give the boor power over the situation so that they do not feel stronger.

If your boss is rude to you, and it is impossible to get away from this, think about the fact that you are not chained to him for life. You are not a slave, you are only doing your job professionally, i.e. you help him to carry out the work, which means that you can call yourself a partner in a certain business. You can demand more respect for yourself, because. you have every right to do so.

Method 3: Remember your rights

When you are rude in a public place, then you need to fight not with the offenders, but with their superiors.

Find out the name, surname, position and contacts. You can ask for a book of complaints, if there is one. If this does not help, try contacting a consumer protection society or a lawyer.

Use your weapons - human rights and leverage. This method is suitable if the boor is an official, manager, waiter, security guard and other representatives of large organizations

Method 4: turn on your imagination

Try to imagine an offender behind a glass wall: you see him, you notice that he is saying something, but you simply do not hear.

You can also imagine a boor in the form of a big fish in an aquarium: it seems that he moves his lips, moves his fins, but it is not clear why all this is.

If you watched the movie "The Matrix", then remember the moment when Neo stopped the bullets fired at him. Imagine that the rudeness thrown at you is bullets, and you are invulnerable, and all the rudeness does not reach you, falling with a ringing on the floor.

Method 5: Try to contact the boor

Try to find out the reason for the aggression. For example, you can say: "Now you are rude to me, why do you need this?" or "You have a smile on your face and you say mean things, so I haven't figured out how to respond to your words yet."

Perhaps the person who heard you will consider his actions, look at himself from the outside and rethink his behavior. You can use this method when communicating with people with whom you will have to meet and talk more than once - work colleagues, acquaintances, relatives.

There is a chance that a person will look at himself from the outside and rethink something in his behavior.

How beautiful to respond to rudeness

Rudeness can be well treated with politeness, which scares boors, forcing them to be careful when communicating:

- "You see, dear, I do not intend (a) to communicate with you in such a tone"

- "Dear, you may have confused me with someone"

If the boor cannot stop in any way, after all your attempts, then save your nerves, wish him all the best and leave the place of conversation.

Sometimes a boor needs to be put in place, otherwise you will make them stronger with your silence. A good answer can close the mouth of a boor. But remember, to be rude to rudeness does not put you higher.

Try to use humor. If you are being rude, smile and say "Well, you and blockhead (fool, idiot)!" Such an act can anger the boor even more, whose reaction will make you laugh.

Smiling back often irritates a boor, so smile sincerely.

- "You deign to be rude to me ... Why? Is your goal to offend me? Why?"

Answer so that your word is the last and then the rudeness will stop.

Pay no attention to the boor. Imagine a scenario in your head: "You are a leaf by the road ... Everything passes by and nothing hurts you" .

"I'm sorry, but this color doesn't suit you at all." “Is it possible to listen to your advice?! You're always talking nonsense!" “And what did he find in her ...” “C grade work” It so happened that in our society they are used to paying more attention to the negative than the positive aspects of a person - it is much easier to notice the shortcomings of others than pleasant qualities or happy opportunities.

No one likes criticism, no matter how delicate it may sound. The development of social networks and the phenomenon of trolling only exacerbated the situation - it became much easier to express your “fi” or arrange a real persecution on the Web.

No matter how much we convince you otherwise, everyone knows perfectly well that any comments - regarding appearance, work, behavior, and even culinary abilities - are reflected in our emotional health and self-esteem. So why not learn how to properly rebuff the ubiquitous critics? This will help you maintain your confidence and prove that you are not provocative, able to draw the right conclusions and can confidently move forward. No resentment, complexes or disappointments.

What can not be done if you are criticized?

1. Completely deny, avoid, or ignore the other person's comment. In other words, pretending nothing happened or "change the subject." Silencing the situation, as a rule, guarantees even more unresolved problems in the future, the risk of returning to the same “closed topic” later, and the accumulation of negative emotions.

2. The most common reaction to criticism is not just resentment, but a rather aggressive response. Which, for objective reasons, is not the best tactic.

3. Another form of rejection of other people's criticism is making excuses about what happened. Most often, this is even more annoying - the other person decides: you ignore his point of view, not attaching importance to it, or deliberately do not want to ask for forgiveness.

How to respond to criticism?

#1. The easiest way to find out what a harsh or caustic critic meant is to ask him about it. Feel free to ask questions! What exactly do you not like? Why do you think I shouldn't do this? Did what I said offend you? Why do you say that? In this way, you will have a better understanding of the complaints and the reasons for the other's dissatisfaction. It often turns out that strong feelings and resentment are hidden behind criticism, and the remark itself is not the final goal, and something else really worries a person. For example, someone might be irritated not by the fact that you showed up ten minutes late, but by the feeling that you don't take them seriously.

#2. Drop all emotions and think - is there at least some truth in the criticism against you? Maybe it's quite constructive comments? It's hard to accept that you're doing something wrong or that your lifestyle isn't the best... But it's an important step to get over the situation. Feel the difference: were the words spoken just to hurt you? Or can some benefit be derived from them? Perhaps you are really dressed or behaving inappropriately for the situation or status, and with your remark the other person did a great favor, and you got the opportunity to become better.

#3. Learn to accept the other person's opinion even if you don't share it. Even if you don't change your behavior because you don't agree with the criticism, at least acknowledge that there is a different, acceptable opinion and avoid being attacked.

#4. If you understand that there is some truth in the remarks, and criticism hears attention - work on yourself. For example: "You're right, I'm regularly very late, it looks like it's time to set two alarms so as not to oversleep."

#5. Don't be afraid to tell the truth and set boundaries. Feel free to talk about your feelings - it’s unpleasant for you to hear comments addressed to you, explain what exactly hurt you and upset you. In this way, you will protect yourself from taunts in the future and indicate which communication you consider unacceptable.

#6. Criticism as a source of information about a person. Or there is no evil without good. Remind yourself of a simple truth - remarks addressed to others often say more about the commentator than about the person who has been criticized. Use the review as a source of information about who gave it. Keep calm and you will learn a lot about a person. Note that the one who is used to upsetting others, rather than encouraging or supporting, is in himself an unhappy person. Do not take his words to heart.

Deconstructive criticism

We have to admit that very often criticism sounds incorrect, and an angry “accuser” resorts to humiliation, insults and uses words that exaggerate and distort reality. In these cases, one can accept a grain of truth, but disagree with inflated facts. For example: “You forgot to pick up the package. You always ruin everything!" “It’s true that I forgot it, but there are many things that I do very well!” Thus, you admit to a misconduct, but you do not underestimate self-esteem.

How to properly respond to insults? There is no one in the world who has never been offended.

However, some look optimistic and satisfied with life, while others react painfully to other people's attacks and clog "in a mink".

Let's think about how to properly respond to insults and remain unconvinced?

Big bosses, school teachers, kindergarten teachers, employees of registry offices and housing departments, even ordinary janitors - all the time they strive to offend the innocent.

It is important to distinguish criticism (albeit in a rude form) from insults. A criticizing person will definitely name the facts, his claims are due to specific things and actions.

But the offender often becomes personal, descends to swearing, calling names, but this has nothing to do with your mistakes.

What to do if your boss insults you

In my life there were two opposite working collectives. Pleasant people gathered at the planning meetings of the first one, discussed successes, calmly expressed criticism, and supported those who did not succeed.

After the speech of the talented and calm leader, everyone was full of enthusiasm and set to work with redoubled energy.

At meetings of the second job, the boss constantly shouted, he considered everyone mediocrity and fools.

He could humiliate a young girl for an immodest outfit, a chubby secretary for being overweight, and torture a colleague for half an hour for a crumpled tie.

Exhausted and tired, everyone took up work with reluctance, once a month someone was sure to quit “on their own”.

The easiest way to say “run from this job”, because nothing will change the boss. But not everyone can change lucrative positions like gloves.

However, if you correctly respond to insults, you will soon be able to earn his respect and stay in the team for a long time.

What is needed for that? calm tone, increased self-esteem, smile, self-esteem and understanding of the causes of other people's behavior.

The shorter your answers will be,all the better.

Do not get angry in response, put on a friendly face and forgive the offender in advance. After all, he is weak and primitive, and you are stronger, higher than him.

1. Get away from the situation. Work is not life, it's just work. You get money - not for nerves and complaisance, but for your skills, period.

But no one pays for your peace of mind, so take care of it. Limit contacts with unpleasant people. And after work, friends, children, wife, pets, a delicious dinner, your favorite series are waiting for you.

2. Turn on "ignore". Keep quiet and go about your business until the boss returns to a calm tone.

3. If the offender is inflamed in earnest, you can, hiding malice, thank him for his kind remarks.

He tells you: “Yes, you are probably crazy!”, You boomerang to him: “Oh, you noticed it very well.”

He: “Yes, I have never seen you more stupid,” and you: “Thank you, I appreciate all your comments. I will definitely work on myself." Smile sincerely, well, almost.

4. Consider the scale of the disaster. Is it so scary that a colleague in the heat of a dispute called you an ugly name? There is a war somewhere in the world, someone is always starving, stars explode, new planets are formed ...

On the scale of the universe, the words of some bungler are empty, zero. Should I respond to insults and worry?

5.The method of "aquarium fish" helped many of my colleagues. It is enough to imagine that the boss is talking and talking, and only bubbles come out of his mouth and only gurgling is heard.

Separate yourself mentally from it with aquarium glass and enjoy the view.

6. When they shout at you for no reason (in other words, when it is not necessary to delve into the meaning of words), strain your imagination and Imagine boss, say, giant hamster. Or a harmful monkey that escaped from the enclosure and steals bags from passers-by.

7. Draw air into your lungs and in one breath, exhaling evenly, say: "I would like you to be more polite to me."

Or " Let's get to the point: what specific claims do you have against me? It puts some people in their place, like an ice cold shower.

One of my university teachers managed to overwhelm the smartest students: instead of talking on tickets, she poured personal insults in a low, sarcastic voice. Yes, yes, there are such luminaries of science.

But my not the most gifted (but calm as a tank) classmate managed to pass everything on the first try. During the exam, he also quietly told her, “You are being unprofessional. Let's get back to the subject, shall we?"

8. It is very important to remind presumptuous bosses that slavery and serf labor have long been abolished.

If you are insulted, and you hear cries of “I demand”, “I order” and the like, try changing the tone of the conversation with a calm phrase: “So what kind of request?”, focusing on the last word.

9. The most important – don't show resentment, do not succumb to provocation.

Do not break into response reproaches and shouting, do not move your eyebrows angrily, and in general, do not give the offender a reason to see that you are hurt. And only then will you win.

If the scream is compressed into a lump in your throat, go to the toilet, turn on the taps and scream. And then wash your face, smile in the mirror, take a deep breath - and back again.

10. A few more magical phrases that put a person in his place:“Why are you trying to offend me?”, “Are you having an unpleasant day today? I understand, it happens”, “You seemed to me a different, more pleasant person”, “I didn’t expect this from you”, “Excuse me, are you finished? I would like to work."

11. Control your thoughts. Do not remember offensive words at night, do not invent theoretical answers, do not wish for revenge.

All this exhausts you, spoils your mood, but does not affect the offender in any way.

The most “vindictive” thing you can do is to live peacefully and enjoy the new day in spite of everything.

In the life of every person it happened at least once to listen to insults. Intentionally or through negligence, but desecrated dignity and honor! Insult carries a surge of negative emotions caused by various factors. Knowing these reasons, you can competently respond to an insult or respond correctly to it. People are characterized by various manifestations of certain emotions, but it is not always possible to restrain such manifestations. And then, in a rough form, a negative assessment of the personality is given. But if you know how to properly respond to insults, then the offender himself will be the victim.

Why do people turn to insults?
Before reacting to insults and starting to respond to them, you need to determine what caused the aggression.

Self-assertion. By insulting an opponent, a person thereby wants to exalt himself. Aggression is a sign of internal fears, experiences, complexes and self-doubt. Therefore, wanting to increase self-esteem, a person resorts to various kinds of insults. You should show pity to such a person and make it clear that he will not be established at your expense.
Outburst of emotions. Sometimes a person accumulates too much negativity. And to get under a hot hand is an opportunity to hear a lot of new things about yourself. In this case, the person later apologizes himself, he only needs help to calm down.
Public game. Such people receive a huge energy boost from scandals in public. The main thing here is to let the person understand that you are not the hero of his action comedy. To remain indifferent in this case means to remain a winner.
Upbringing. More precisely, its absence. The causes of aggressive behavior go back to early childhood, characterized by permissiveness and indulgence. To an ill-mannered person - only a squeamish attitude.
Bad day or Monday syndrome. In the life of every person there are Mondays, and not necessarily on the first day of the week. A difficult day is accompanied by emotional disorders, which provokes the release of the negative accumulated during the day to the outside. The best option is to say that you understand what caused the aggression, and ask the person not to take out the negativity on you.
Rivalry. It gives rise to the strongest insults, discrediting honor and dignity. It is impossible to ignore such insults, it is necessary to give a person a worthy rebuff.

The status and position of the offender
The reaction to an insult also depends on who the offender is.

Husband/wife, relative. If these are people from the inner circle, then you need to try as much as possible to maintain a warm relationship between you. Family quarrels are temporary and are accompanied by accumulated claims and are resolved at a round table.
Friend. If a friend did this, then you should definitely find out the reason that prompted him to insult. As soon as the details come up, you will have to decide: to forgive or is it better to refuse such a friend ?!
Boss. Insults from superiors are heard by most office workers. This is either a form of communication, or personal hostility. In any case, the first is self-recognised, but the second needs to be found out. But you should never react violently to the aggression of the boss. You can imagine him in funny and ridiculous situations or just use a smile, this will give confidence. The boss will see your resilience and recognize your psychological advantage.
Unfamiliar people. Here is a great opportunity to show calmness, upbringing and intelligence.

In any case, you should not be like the offender and accept the rules of his game. The best weapon is calmness and adequacy, ignoring or humor.

How to correctly respond to an insult in various situations?

Have you encountered a troll? The best weapon against him is to ignore. The "trolls" aggressive attack is a way of life. Therefore, in order to prevent them from bringing discord into society, it is enough just to ignore them or direct all the power of the intellect to them. For example, you can answer that you would say a lot, but you are worried that it is unlikely that his limited mind will realize and accept this information.
Unfounded criticism of your work. Thank the person for their opinion and say what it means that others will definitely like it.
Appearance criticism. Appearance-related remarks can seriously damage self-esteem if taken to heart. To the attack: "What bruises under your eyes! Just terrible!", You can answer that this is a consequence of a stormy night, adding a satisfied smile.
Notes on clothing. Such injections often concern the financial situation of your family or you personally and can be very hurtful. To the statement: “You dress only in cheap stores!”, you can answer that any thing looks beautiful and profitable on your figure.

When the situation comes to insults, you should not take the side of the offender and turn into his copy, shouting offensive words and curses at him. After all, the winner will not be the one who knows a lot of offensive words, but the one who finds a constructive way to resolve this conflict.

How to respond to insults - Do I need to respond?

How to behave if you are insulted?
— How to respond to humiliation: general rules
— How to learn to respond to an offender and not provoke new ones
What to do if you are being rude online?
- How to respond to rudeness from relatives?
- Conclusion

Most often, they offend intentionally, for some reason, for example, trying to offend, humiliate, or show that the offender is better than you.

Insult is always unpleasant, so you need to know how to respond to them. Those who do not know how to respond to insults can go into serious depression.

You may be offended to the core by phrases that you consider to be true. But it's not. So just make it clear to others. Start loving yourself, from your fingertips to your hair and your soul. There are no more like you. Remember this. You are unique. Nobody has the right to be rude to you. You are good at everything that gives you joy. You are smart. You are beautiful. Say nice words to yourself every morning in front of the mirror, admire yourself.

Think carefully, why do people try to offend people who are not like them? In fact, the answer is simple - people are afraid. They are afraid to look weaker than others, thereby insulting and humiliating you. Don't give up and don't let them insult you.

They try to appear stronger by humiliating others, but in reality, offenders are weak personalities.

Therefore, be smarter, be calm about unpleasant phrases addressed to you. Remember that this person is weaker than you and is afraid of simply being worse than you.

It must be remembered that constructive criticism and insults are different things. So, as criticism implies assistance in eliminating the shortcomings of a person, and when insulting, a person humiliates someone else's dignity, while demonstrating his own. Therefore, there is not a drop of truth in insults and therefore you should not take them to heart and delve into yourself, thereby causing sadness and bad emotions in yourself.

Sometimes offenders use non-normative vocabulary, very rude phrases, in order to offend more. It happens that they use subtle insults, manifested through frank sarcasm, ridicule. In order to correctly respond to the words of the offender, you need to understand what insults are flying in your direction.

for example, you do not need to respond to insults with direct obscene words, you can simply load a person with words using the knowledge of neurolinguistic programming.

There are too emotional personalities who are not familiar to you, but stuck in a public place. These can behave inappropriately and attack with fists. Therefore, if you sense that a person is not friendly with the language, then just ignore it. Why would you stoop to the same level. Yes, and the fight will definitely not lead to good.

It is best to calmly respond with an indifferent voice or ignore it. It turns out that you do not care what he thinks and says. As a result, he will quickly fall behind.

An interesting thing is when they try to give you a negative assessment of your appearance or your actions, try to thank the person. This will obviously baffle him and he will not find anything else to say.

Remember that there is no exact way to properly respond to insults. After all, it depends on the situation and on who offends you. But thanks to this article, you can understand how to respond to offenders.

— How to respond to humiliation: general rules

— How to learn to respond to an offender and not provoke new ones

The ability to quickly formulate thoughts will help you to get out of any verbal duel as a winner and put in place a presumptuous interlocutor.
There are people who are rude more often than others. There is such a thing - the psychology of the victim. Sacrificial people who are easy to offend (he has such an appearance, he behaves this way, it can be seen from him that he will not be able to respond to an insult) - he will always find his boor.

Often people are not able to somehow respond to an insult because of their own insecurity, low self-esteem, or natural shyness. Having heard unpleasant words addressed to them, they, overwhelmed by fear, cannot utter a word. Here we need an integrated approach - having started the fight against these qualities, constantly practice the ability to correctly respond to insults. And remember, the reaction to rudeness and boorish behavior must come from the depth of inner steadfastness.

In addition, fear transmitted through some absolutely unthinkable channels can spur the offender to more and more rudeness. So in any conflict situation, including responding to insults, you must, first of all, curb your fear. We are so arranged that, not knowing how to defend ourselves from insult, we involuntarily begin to breathe deeper, strain our eyes, clench our fists or cross our legs and arms. Try to follow your emotions in such situations, and consciously control your external manifestations.

What to do if you are being rude online?

The best medicine is prevention. Communicating on the Web - on forums, in chats - we often do not notice how we ourselves provoke interlocutors to be rude in our direction. And, although the one who was rude is always to blame in such a situation, some rules should still be followed so as not to become a victim of ridicule and insults.

Rule 1. Never take to heart everything that happens on the Web.

Rule 2. Before sending a message, read it carefully several times, try to look at it from the outside - is it possible to understand it in two ways, does it correctly reflect your point of view.

Rule 3: Avoid grammatical errors.

Rule 4. Be respectful of all participants in the discussion.

Rule 5. Do not make offtopic under any circumstances, do not try to point your finger at where you were rude, and do not turn the conversation into proof that you were offended.

Rule 6. Distinguish between rudeness and objective criticism. If you were criticized in a case, thank the critic, for example, with the words: "I'll think about it, thanks for the comment."

Rule 7. Always remember that the manifestation of rudeness is, first of all, proof of a person’s lack of worthy arguments.
But even following these rules will not protect you from insane individuals on the Web. In this case, you should properly respond to rudeness.

- How to respond to rudeness from relatives?

The desire to defend oneself and “send” when insulted is a healthy reaction of the body. Any person has the right to respect from other people and has the right to insist on this and demand respect for himself.
However, when it comes to relatives, especially parents, the healthy reaction of the body - anger - is hindered by other feelings: fear, love for relatives despite disagreements.

If there are prohibitions in the family on manifestations of anger, for example, “to be angry is not good”, to objections to parents, for example, “parents must be obeyed and you cannot be angry with them”, then there may also be a feeling of guilt for one’s anger and thoughts of “embedding” and "send". If insults and humiliation are the norm in a family, then there may be a strong sense of shame for one's helplessness and inability to defend oneself.

First of all, it is important for you to understand what kind of feelings you experience besides anger at your relatives when you are insulted. To do this, when you are alone, try to remember any time you were abused by them. Feel what emotions arise in response to their words.

Allow yourself to say what you want to say to them. Try to feel how you feel and keep talking about your reaction to the insults. For example, to be ashamed and speak, or be afraid, grieve, feel pain and speak.

You can respond to insults from relatives by showing them your feelings. It may look like this, depending on what feelings you find in yourself:

1) "I love you very much, but I feel offended when you do this";
2) “Your words cause me great pain. It’s very hard for me to listen when you say that”;
3) “When you talk like that, I don't understand what it's about. It will be easier for me to understand you if you don't insult me."

Sometimes with other people, including relatives, it is possible to speak only in their language, giving an adequate rebuff, where force is equal to counterforce. Grief about the fact that relatives are not able to show love and respect, and fight back. Sometimes separation is necessary from people who do not respond to the feelings of other people.

- Conclusion

Before responding to an insult, remember that by insulting you, a person, first of all, humiliates himself. There is a category of people who are unsure of themselves and try to assert themselves at the expense of others, insulting others. These are to be regretted. It is useless to engage in a skirmish with them. Their only job is to spoil your mood. Don't let them.

Another reason that you were offended may be the poor health of the interlocutor. When a person feels bad, he wants the people around him to feel lousy too.

In addition, even if you feel offended, it is quite possible that the person did not mean to offend you at all, but simply said what he thought. In this case, he had no intention of offending you. Only those whom we allow it can offend us. To feel humiliated or not is up to you.

The material was prepared by Dilyara specifically for the site

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