Dear Grandfather Frost! This New Year, I would like everyone to become kinder, and for me to become more beautiful.
When you have time, make men smarter, but if you don’t have time, just send me a twenty-five-year-old ski instructor. Otherwise, I digress.
I want to ask you for another new metabolism. The one from the cormorant will suit me - this bird manages to eat more in a day than it weighs itself, but does not gain weight at all in its hips. In my opinion, this is unfair. Slender hips are much more necessary for women than for some cormorants. Of course, I convince myself that if I eat bread for breakfast that tastes no different from the wrapper in which it is packaged, sooner or later I will turn into Kate Moss. But we both understand, dear Grandfather, that this is not so. Therefore - cormorants. Remember.
Now about the hairstyle. Make it so that I don’t have to shell out five thousand rubles to the hairdresser every time so that two days after the haircut my hair again takes on its original tousled look. I'm tired of explaining to people that I don't sleep in a cage with rabid hamsters.
Epilation. Grandfather, do you even know how painful this is? I don't argue that there are a lot of advantages to being a woman. You will be the first to be lowered in a lifeboat from a sinking ship. You don't need to straighten your genitals in front of everyone. You can scare men with mysterious gynecological terms. But an endless civil war with your own hair on the entire surface of the body, except the head, is unbearable. Either give us all a device that would quickly and painlessly remove all unwanted hair, or introduce a fashion for shaggy women.
Further. Underpants. This is a serious women's problem, to which even Bridget Jones at one time attracted attention. It's always difficult with panties. Always, every day, you have to make a decision: thongs, slimming, comfortable or no panties. Shapewear has been preserved since the Inquisition. In this vestment it is difficult to breathe, dance and take seductive poses. You can only think about one thing: “When the hell will this torment end?” It's not easy with thongs either. The thongs cut into you know where, they prick, and because of them you have to constantly itch like a macaque in a zoo. The only difference is that the macaque does it in public, and you deliberately touch the tables, chairs and hands of men. Panties with frills, lace and other sexy decorations are also far from ideal. Maybe it’s precisely because of all these inconvenient devices that modern girls agree to have sex so quickly: they met, drank a cocktail and - pooh! - She is already undressing. Of course... Comfortable cotton panties are made for people, but they do not look aesthetically pleasing. And usually the size of a small developing state. We have to constantly remember that if a girl in comfortable shorts gets hit by a car, then all the orderlies at the morgue will come running to see her. In general, come up with something, you are Santa Claus. Make comfortable panties beautiful, delicious food low-calorie, and handsome men heterosexual.
And about the main thing. Cellulite. This word sounds like the name of a stomach infection, although much worse...
Santa Claus accepts messages from children all year round. Before the New Year, funny and serious letters pour into his mailbox in batches. He has to read both printed letters and the clumsy handwriting of first-graders. The old man can also decipher puzzles in the form of pictures (drawn letters). The main thing is to send letters to Santa Claus from children on time, and somehow they will reach the addressee.
Join the discussion
Nobody knows how many letters Santa Claus received during his life. By the way, you don’t have to be a child to write a letter to a bearded old man. Every adult can also send a letter to Santa Claus with a request to receive a cherished gift and fulfillment of wishes. They say that the fairy-tale wizard enjoys reading and answering letters, and fulfills the wishes of children and adults who firmly believe in him.
The funniest, touching letters to Santa Claus from children and adults
Magic is a rare phenomenon in the children's world, and even more so in adults. If you want to give your child a fairy tale, send him an original message to the bearded old man, and then the gift given to the child will become much more valuable to him.
So, the pencils are sharpened, there is a sheet of paper on the table and a completely logical question arises: “What should I write about in a letter to my grandfather?” We present an original selection of the most touching, funny, and serious letters to Santa Claus from children and adults.
Letters to Santa Claus from children in prose
- Hello, Santa Claus! Congratulations on the upcoming holidays! I know you have a lot of work, so I’ll write briefly: this year I tried, studied well and helped my mother. Sometimes I wasn't very good at being obedient. I guess half of me is disobedience. But I'm trying! Because I love my parents and grandmother very much. Santa Claus, please bring gifts to my parents and me! Thank you!
- Hello, dear Santa Claus! I’ve never written to you before, but now I have the opportunity. This is probably not a coincidence. Your role is difficult, grandfather, but also so pleasant: to make all people happy - both small and big. I want to wish you, grandfather, long years of reign, health and ever-burning coals for your hearth, which warms our childhood and our memories.
For myself and my family, I ask you for joy, warmth, love and optimism; I will achieve everything else on my own. The Christmas tree is already ready, but I would just like to receive a small gift from you.
- Hello Dedushka Moroz! If you feel bored on New Year's Eve, come and visit us! We don't have a chimney, but we do have a bell on the front door, so we'll be happy to let you in. Our address is on the envelope.
Funny letters from children in verse
Hello, Grandfather Frost, cotton wool beard!
Give me a pair of skis, better than my brother's.
Give me another cute kitten,
To be fluffier than what my sister has.
Give me a mobile phone - so that the very best,
There should be more games in it than in my mother’s mobile.
Give me a laptop, but not like my dad's -
"Stalker" does not go on it - it has a weak video card.
And don't come without a bike -
To drive faster than what the neighbor has.
Well, that’s it... I can’t wait to take the first one.
If you don’t give it, I’ll tell everyone that you’re an evil guy!
Hello Dedushka Moroz,
A beard made of cotton wool.
Last year why did you come?
Is he a creep to my sister and I?
Somewhere I tore my hat,
Lost gifts
He screamed the song "Oh, Frost"
Spent the night under the arch?
Didn’t bring it to my sister and me,
You're a fast skateboarder...
Try, good Grandfather,
Get to us sober.
Letters to Santa Claus from adults
Adults also sometimes want to feel like a child. Many of them, like children, believe that dreams conceived on New Year's Eve will come true, and some even send serious and funny letters to their grandfather. This is what adults write about in their messages to the fairy-tale hero.
Funny letters to Santa Claus from girls
Dear santa claus! This New Year, I would like everyone to become kinder, and for me to become more beautiful. When you have time, make men smarter, but if you don’t have time, just send me a twenty-five-year-old ski instructor. In general, Jake Gyllenhaal and I will do just fine. (This is about the same as Brad Pitt, only younger.) The guy from the cologne advertisement is also not bad - the one who runs naked around the apartment, kicks a pillow, and then sits in a chair and stares so glaringly with his eyes!
Hello Dedushka Moroz! Let me start with the fact that I always believed in you, even when I went to school and they told me that there is no Santa Claus, when I went to college, and everyone laughed at my faith... In general, I think that for my devotion I can ask you for gifts.
I would also really like to meet you personally, so our family will be glad to have you come to visit. Thank you, grandfather, for your kindness and accept our sincere congratulations!
There is still a lot of time until the New Year, but I’m starting to ask now so that you don’t make an excuse that I’m late. So here it is. The brain, as I understand it, you absolutely do not intend to give me as a gift. Sprinkle, that is, give, a little adequacy. Honestly, it’s very necessary. Please make it so that either there are a couple more hours in the day, or so that I can get enough sleep in 3 hours.
Then, I ask that the bosses be men, because, judging by the results of last year, you cannot stop menopause and PMS. I also want honesty from myself and those around me.
For now, until the New Year, maybe I’ll come up with something else, but you can give it to me for my birthday. Although, you are not on these matters. I would like to note that I behaved with dignity all year, loved children, parents, friends and patients.
I promise to act wisely with gifts.
Santa Claus! I want to ask you for a new metabolism. The one from the cormorant will suit me: this bird manages to eat more in a day than it weighs itself, but does not gain weight at all in its hips. In my opinion, this is unfair. Slender hips are much more necessary for women than for some cormorants. Of course, I convince myself that if I eat bread for breakfast that tastes no different from the wrapper in which it is packaged, sooner or later I will turn into Kate Moss. But we both understand, dear grandfather, that this is not so. Therefore - cormorants. Remember!
Give yourself a New Year's fairy tale, what if a bearded old man makes his cherished dream come true? The main thing is to truly believe in it.
Funny messages to Santa Claus from adults
Well, great, Beard!
Are you getting ready?
I am writing a request, as always,
Don't let me down.
Otherwise, there is only one Santa Claus here,
What happened last year
He promised gifts, damn it,
I forgot to bring it.
I'm not asking for much
Don't be afraid, Red Nose,
Now I will write a list:
Computer, vacuum cleaner, iron, sheepskin coat,
Grill stove, mobile phone (preferably three),
Service, perfume, car,
What to the husband - see for yourself.
Champagne - of course
And a couple of cognacs,
Well, there, some snacks,
And it’s completely sad.
Pack everything, put it in a bag,
So that it makes sense.
If it doesn’t fit, well!
I'll take it in euros.
After all, you, Japanese mother, must
(Because the sorcerer)
Financially support
Decent people!
I’m writing again, although I don’t believe it,
That something will come true now,
But I don't close the doors
And I’ve been waiting... for what hour now...
You have a surprise in store for me
What won't ruin our friendship?
Let's see, grandpa, striptease,
What will the Snow Maiden perform for us?
But so long as she exists,
a little younger grandfather!
Not the one you brought yesterday!
With such a pockmarked, clumsy face!
And so that your butt is cellulite-free!
After all, it's not a cow,
Otherwise I'll send you back.
That's it! Bye! Stay healthy!
All adults once wrote letters to a fairy-tale wizard. Someone asked for a gift, someone invited him to visit, someone complained about something. Everyone who believed in the fairy tale had their dreams come true. So let letters to Santa Claus from children and adults bring the fulfillment of their cherished dreams closer!
When the letter is ready, you need to put it in an envelope, seal it, write the address and put it in the mailbox. You can write to Santa Claus at several addresses. One is the city of Veliky Ustyug in northern Russia. The second is Lapland in Finland. You can send it to any address. And don’t forget about the magic mail: freezer, socks, windowsill, Christmas tree in the park, and so on.
About a month before the New Year, children begin to look forward to the holiday. Yes, this is not surprising. The shops are already decorated, there are Christmas trees here and there around the city, and pre-holiday cartoons are on TV. Therefore, the eve of the holiday is the time to send a message to the New Year's wizard. How to write a letter to Santa Claus? Read examples of such messages below.
How to format a letter
Which message is more pleasant to hold in your hands: a checkered sheet or a landscape sheet with a color illustration? Of course, everyone likes the second option more. There is no clear answer to the question of how to write a letter to Santa Claus? Each child must decide this independently. We will simply give recommendations that can be used in your work.
The letter should be written on beautiful paper. It is advisable to take a tinted one for such a case. And of course, you need to draw a New Year’s illustration on it. Some say that if a child does not have artistic talent, then he should not upset Santa Claus with an ugly drawing. But that's not true. After all, children love to draw. And they may not succeed precisely because their parents do not believe in them and do not give them the opportunity to practice often. So let the child draw as best he can.
It is worth paying attention not only to the letter sheet itself, but also to the envelope. Examples of letters to Santa Claus are given below.
Main points of the message
To avoid appearing ignorant, you need to write your letter according to plan. After all, when there is a clear structure before your eyes, it is simply impossible to forget about some point. How to write a letter to Santa Claus?
- The first item should be a greeting. It’s worth saying hello to the New Year’s wizard and his assistants. The Snow Maiden, snowmen, hares, horses and deer will be pleased to hear greetings.
- And now it’s worth congratulating Santa Claus on the upcoming holiday and wishing him all the best, and most importantly, long life and health.
- The third point is to analyze your own year. Write down what went well, what you should be grateful for in the passing days, what successes you have achieved and what failures you have experienced in your endeavors.
- Now it's time for promises. You need to write what the child promises to do to receive the gift. You can also write your expectations for the year, and not in terms of gifts, but as if your own version of the desired development of this year.
- And only after this you can ask for gifts. Moreover, it is desirable that this is not a list of 20 points, but one most cherished desire. And the less material it is, the better. But you can ask for gifts not only for yourself, but also for your parents and friends. And you can even worry about your pets.
- After the request, you need to express gratitude that Santa Claus spent his time reading the letter and will spend time in the future to make his wish come true.
- And of course, don’t forget to say goodbye to the good wizard.
Example of a letter from a boy
A child of kindergarten age is not yet able to write a letter on his own. Therefore, his parents should help him in this difficult task. And it is they who must figure out how to write the text of the letter to Santa Claus. But leaving a little boy idle is also bad. Therefore, he can draw a postcard or beautifully design a letter written by his mother’s hand. The boy must also remember all his good and evil deeds on his own. And he’s also quite capable of coming up with a New Year’s resolution. Example of a letter to Santa Claus:
Hello, Grandfather Frost! Hello, Snow Maiden, snowmen and bunnies!
Happy holiday to you. May your year be successful and happy.
This year I behaved well, didn't fight with the boys, didn't offend my parents, and helped wash the dishes. I also cleaned up my toys and clothes on my own.
Grandpa, please give me a dog. I will love her very much. I promise to feed her and walk her.
Thank you in advance. I believe that you will help me fulfill my cherished desire.
Example of a letter from a girl
Almost all children want to get a toy for New Year. And beautiful and expensive. But parents don’t always have the money for such a gift. Therefore, if children’s letters to Santa Claus consist of such requests, and sincere ones at that, then, willy-nilly, such a demand will have to be fulfilled. But at the same time, it is necessary to explain to the child that you will have to work hard all year for such an expensive toy. You can even ask not only to write a list of your promises in a message to the New Year's wizard, but also to hang this sheet on the wall. Here is an example of a letter to Santa Claus:
Hello, Santa Claus, hares and Snow Maiden!
Happy holiday to you all! Congratulations to your trio of white horses.
This year has been good, and I really hope that next year will be even better. I made great progress in drawing and learned to read. I can even write some letters now. They promise that next year I will do more English, writing and reading, and will also try to fall in love with arithmetic.
And for this to happen, I beg you, grandfather, give me a new doll from the Monster High collection. My girls really want to have another sister nearby.
Thank you very much for last year's gift. I kept all my promises and I hope I won’t let you down again this year.
Example of a letter from a student
Unlike small children, a 12-year-old child can already compose a message on his own. How to write a letter to Santa Claus? You need to work according to the standard scheme given above. Here is a sample letter from a junior student:
Hello Dedushka Moroz!
Happy New Year! I hope it went well and fun for you. So do I. I have worked hard and plan to continue working the same way next year.
I promise that I will obey my parents and grandmother. I also promise that I will walk the dog and play with the kitten.
Please give me a tablet. We already have one, but he is dad's and dad takes him in the evenings. And I want to have my own. But not only for toys. I can watch training videos on it.
Thank you very much in advance.
Example of a letter from a schoolgirl
School-age girls want to grow up faster, so their desires usually flow in this direction. We discussed how to write a letter to Santa Claus above, but now let’s look at an example:
Santa Claus, hello! Hello, Snow Maiden!
Happy holiday to you!
This year I behaved well and finished the quarter with straight A's. Mom says that if I study just as well, I will receive a gold medal. This year I went to art school and learned to draw well. But I don't want to limit myself to paper.
Santa Claus, please give me some cosmetics. I want to learnNot onlydraw on paper, but also create beautiful makeup. And my mother doesn’t allow me to use her makeup bag.
Thank you for helping me.
Santa Claus address
The letter was written, packed in a beautiful envelope, now it’s time to go to the post office. Where to write to Santa Claus? The letter can be addressed to Verkhny Ustyug. Index 162390. And don’t forget to write the cherished words Santa Claus Mail. But we can surprise schoolchildren who want to send a letter on their own, without the help of their parents. Even if you write “Santa Claus” on the envelope, then such a letter will find its addressee. Postal employees have been redirecting messages to the New Year's wizard for several years now.
But Santa Claus reads not only paper letters. He also has an email. Here you can send both a letter typed on a computer and a photograph of a handwritten message.
Many people in our advanced age do not understand why spend a lot of time and effort writing a letter to Santa Claus, thinking about how to send it, wondering whether he will receive it and whether he will want to answer. After all, sooner or later everyone understands that relatives buy gifts for the Christmas tree.
“Marker” believes that you need to write messages to your snow grandfather, even if you are an adult. The ability to believe in miracles, contrary to all logic, is a great support in difficult times. Some of our readers agreed with this and wrote letters to Santa Claus at our request.
Galina Berezutskaya,
pensioner:
Hello Dedushka Moroz! I am already an old man, and I have few desires. The main thing that I and people my age need is health. May all Barnaul residents enjoy good spirits, inner peace, and love of life this year. I really want every person to live in harmony with themselves and the world around them, so that everyone is happy, so that good wishes come true. Please give us, along with the snow, luck and success, love and joy. And don’t neglect the Marker-Express newspaper and everyone who makes it.
Thank you, Grandfather, for making my granddaughter’s wishes come true every New Year. Thank you also for bringing the feeling of celebration to us. Live long, don’t get sick, and don’t lose your huge bag of gifts. Sincerely, Galina Petrovna."
Alexander Gnezdilov,
People's Master of the Altai Territory:
Dear Santa Claus! Alexander Ilyich, a master maker of folk instruments, is writing to you. My brainchild, the Center for Multi-Stringed Instruments of the Peoples of Altai, has been doing a good job for almost two years - reviving the musical traditions of the region. We recently released into the world a young psaltery player, a soloist of the Babushkin family ensemble “Hour by Hour”. Svyatoslav Babushkin made a meteoric rise: in one year he prepared and entered the most prestigious music educational institution - the Russian Academy of Music. Gnesins. Our organization will use all its capabilities to help a talented student and bring him back to Barnaul to “do great things.” With his arrival, we will take another step towards our goal - to make the regional capital the center of the art of playing the Siberian ancient (Scythian) harp.
Dear Grandfather Frost, we don’t need anything material from you: just do a little magic so that we can succeed. And congratulate Svyatoslav with kind words, and he will play a dance song in return!
Oksana Naimushina,
yoga teacher:
Dear, kind Grandfather Frost! I believe that a person’s happiness is in his hands, that everyone has the power to fill everything around them with kindness, positivity and beauty. But on New Year's Day we still turn to you. So on New Year's Eve, let beautiful magical snowflakes fly from the starry winter sky, spinning and dancing. May they bring us luck, love and goodness. Let each person catch his own snowflake, which will fulfill his deepest desire. I want all people to believe in miracles, for love and understanding to reign in families, for children to be loved and raised in care like beautiful flowers, for the older generation to be warmed by the attention of their relatives, and for people to treat each other as if everyone man is a divine creation!
I will also ask you, Grandfather, for my family and friends to be healthy. I believe that we came to this planet to be happy. Grandfather, all people are looking forward to the New Year, hoping that their wishes will come true. Hear them on this wonderful day! Girl Oksana.
Alexey Vorotyntsev,
designer:
Hello, Santa Claus! I never wrote you letters because I had enough of everything. But this year I decided to ask you for something. If you can, make sure that in the New Year I come across as few harmful clients as possible! Let them be smart, understanding, always know what they want and can explain it clearly.
Let my girlfriend, who is studying at a medical college, not be sent far away to practice. Imagine, grandpa, she has to travel 1.5 hours to her clinic - it’s very inconvenient and tiring.
And, most importantly: let my dad, who is in the hospital, have a successful operation. I'm very worried about him and want him to be healthy. If these wishes of mine come true, I will become the happiest person in the world. Alyosha.
Margarita Emm,
English teacher:
Dear Grandfather Frost! I have almost stopped believing in you, but somewhere in the depths of my soul I have a glimmer of hope that you still exist. That's why I'm writing you a letter.
If you can, perform a miracle for the Russian people. May all people have confident hope for a bright future in the coming year. Let people not be afraid to think about what lies ahead. And for this it is necessary for the state to turn its face to the people. I want every person, whether young or old, to have peace of mind and material well-being, to have a family - people to whom you can come for consolation. May everyone get what they deserve in the New Year. Rita.
SSO "Sibiryak":
Dear Grandfather Frost! Little green men are writing to you, or, as the common people say, construction brigades! This year we behaved well: we built a nuclear power plant, sang songs, helped orphanages and kindergartens, and observed prohibition! We want even more songs, events and good, cheerful new MTR fighters, so that there is someone to leave the squad to.
In general, the deepest desire of any SO fighter is to go, no matter what, at least one more time to the construction site. To feel to the end all the romance of the third labor force, to find new friends and acquaintances, to visit the “squad candle” again, to celebrate the “squad New Year” on July 31st and once again to understand for yourself that the squad is a big family in which one for everyone and all for one. Grandfather Frost, please make sure that, in spite of everything, the movement of the Altai Society flourishes every year!
Who came up with the idea of writing letters to Santa Claus?
The tradition of writing letters to Santa Claus has been around for many years, but no one can say exactly how long. Where she came from is also not known for certain.
There is an opinion that the idea of writing letters to Santa Claus is a slightly modified folk Christmas ritual, when on the night before the holiday people wrote their deepest desires on pieces of paper and burned them at exactly midnight.
Another common version is that our tradition is copied from the American habit of writing letters to Santa Claus. It is also unknown exactly when residents of the United States began to correspond with the main one on New Year's holidays, but back in 1889, the famous artist Thomas Nast painted Santa reading children's letters.
Both options are quite plausible. Be that as it may, regardless of its origin, the tradition copes well with its main purpose: to create a festive mood and help a person believe in a miracle.
Dear santa claus!
Please make men emotionally open. Let them feel free to show all their feelings, not just aggression. If they want to complain about something, let them do it easily and calmly, without fear of looking like weaklings. We women ourselves want to find out what really worries and worries them. Make the thesis “boys don’t cry” unfashionable, like the habit of tucking jeans into boots.
Now about the beer. The scientific evidence that drinking this drink reduces the risk of several serious diseases, including coronary heart disease, diabetes and osteoporosis, is certainly encouraging. But we both understand that in Russia you cannot find a man who would take beer in the recommended doses - half a glass every three days. If a man opens a bottle, then only the end of the world can prevent him from drinking it all to the bottom. So come up with something. Let, for example, it is not the stomach that grows from beer, but some other organ.
I also ask you, grandfather, to take care about a man's dream. Eliminate snoring. Or at least - snoring during train travel. And calm down the women. I know that we have such a feature - to sort things out at night. We love to throw a scandal right after midnight. We like to pull off the blanket from the beloved and loudly, so that the neighbors can hear, say: “It seems it’s time for us to talk, dear!” The dear one whines and kicks his legs, but we are relentless. We want to find out something there. And this, I understand, is terrible. I think, grandfather, that after 00.00 girls should be deprived of their voices. Such a young lady will spin around, run around the apartment a little, write a couple of indignant notes in the style of “I hate you!”, and then there’s nothing to do! – will settle down next to the object of hatred and fall asleep peacefully. And in the morning the problems are somehow solved by themselves, it’s been verified.
It would also be nice to vaccinate women the habit of admiring your men and after the wedding. I am not asking the impossible - for ladies to listen with delight to stories on the topic “Once I managed to make a jet a full two meters!” or applauded when the spouse portrayed Valery Leontyev for the hundredth time. But let at least 50% of them learn to pronounce the phrase “You drive a great car, honey,” and the remaining 50%, to hell with them, let them at least remain silent about the fact that he turned the wrong way again and that he should have left earlier. It's time for girls to learn how to raise their partners' self-esteem through lies. I’m tired of the fact that only the cat listens attentively to the owner’s many hours of reasoning on the topic of the Russian-Georgian conflict, and the phrase: “Wow, how big he is!” - pronounced only by prostitutes.
"You are right". Sometimes, at least once every six months, let women say this, okay? Well, at least once a year. But the question “Am I not fat?” ban it altogether. Because there is no correct answer to it anyway. Either it seems to the girls that the man’s “No” was too hasty, and therefore clearly insincere, or it was too late - it means he was thinking, the bastard.
Dear santa claus! Please make men emotionally open
And about the delicate, grandfather. Could you make women more tolerant of lighting during sex? Somehow I’m already tired of the fact that they all, as one, shudder at the suggestion “Let’s turn on the light.” It would also be nice if in bed they screamed not only when someone accidentally pressed their hair with an elbow.
And they are too attentive, these women. They immediately figure out whether a guy is married or not, noticing the untanned mark of the ring on his finger or - what big eyes! – a child seat in a car. They're just some eagles, don't you agree? Not to mention that after a man’s statement: “I need to be alone,” these home-grown Mrs. Marples immediately shout: “Who is she?” - hitting the nail on the head.
And this is their eternal claim: “You need to grow up”! Such naivety, there is no strength. Dr. House also said that men cannot grow up, just like dogs cannot stop licking themselves. This is impossible. Grant women this awareness. And at the same time, let them understand that lowering the lid on the toilet is too difficult. And wash the plate after yourself. And don't throw your socks around. And don't flood the bathroom floor. And wash the stubble off the sink after shaving.
Women stress men out all the time, you know? The average guy is always in tension: first he doesn’t know how to find a girl, then he doesn’t know how to get rid of her. In addition, she always sets some stupid rules: she demands cleanliness, not sitting at the computer all the time, monitoring her health, visiting her parents, answering telephone questions “Where are you?” Horror. Some insidious people even secretly replace regular mayonnaise in the refrigerator with low-calorie mayonnaise. Could you bear it yourself?
Football, hockey, curling - you can already guess about this, right? Only a victory!
The TV remote control needs to be programmed so that you don’t have to press a button every five seconds. Channels should switch independently, at the speed of a kaleidoscope. The male eye likes it when everything on the screen flashes, makes noise and crackles with unfinished phrases.
Bald. Grandfather, how are things going with the hair on your head in general? You can't see it under the hat. But in any case, show sympathy, red-nosed.
Well, one more little thing. Let your roller skating skills impress potential employers and women over 18. Let flowers be cheap on March 8th. Let them stop inventing rhymes for the names Edik and Anton. Let the request: “Honey, I want mint tea,” stop being heard: “And I want a new dress, a car and a third size.” Let the phrase: “You have extraordinary eyes, beauty,” be easily pronounced after a glass of water. Let not only women get the roses from the cake. Let mothers learn to send SMS and stop considering all girls to be whores eager to seduce the “poor boy”. And let all women be exactly as the mothers of “boys” see them.
So, perhaps we’ll stop there for now. Although no, one more thing. Isn't it time, grandfather, to announce your granddaughter's phone number? She's already an adult, isn't she?
