- An excellent fool turned out! - Chizhik praised himself and, running away, tried to knock down the newly created sculpture. But it was not there! The Snow Person did not want to wallow at all. Siskin this way and that, with his hands, and with his feet, and even with a shovel, tried to implement his idea. But nothing worked. Only he himself rolled in the snow and became white-white, like a snowy owl ...
And completely exhausted, Chizhik shouted: "Well, lie down, I blinded you to play!"
“I’d be glad, but I can’t,” the snowy man unexpectedly replied, “for some reason I turned out smart for you… And in general, I have to go north, to Santa Claus, another Snowman-mailer will not interfere with him. While!
The snowman stretched out his hand-branch to Chizhik, helped him get out of the snowdrift, laughed and slowly walked towards the polar star. And Chizhik remained standing with his mouth open from surprise ...
- Chizhik! Why did you roll in the snow? - Caramelka, who went out into the street, asked in surprise.
Chizhik closed his mouth, blushed with embarrassment and said, - Yes, I was lying here ...
- Whom?
- Myself ...
And he felt both fun and somehow offended. But the joy was still more resentment, because Santa Claus accidentally had another good helper.
Bylinchka about the parcel
One Sunday, when the clowns Chizhik and Karamelka returned from their children's birthday party to the magical land of Veselyandiya, on the threshold of their fairytale house they saw a parcel. The package was like a package, nothing special, just like a regular gift box. Only here was the postage stamp on the box in the form of a kangaroo. As soon as Caramel picked up the parcel, this die jumped off the box, slapped its tail, giggled maliciously, and rode home into the nearest blackberry thickets.- An amazing thing, - said the clown Chizhik.
- Yeah, - said Caramel, - Something I don't really want to open this package.
- It’s not good, someone sent us a gift, but we won’t see it, it’s not very respectful.
- Then let's open it!
Chizhik and Caramel opened a box, and there was an ordinary magic wand. And next to it is a note: "Leave me! You will find out!"
Chizhik threw a magic wand into the blackberry thickets, and she, before reaching the berries, turned around, and, describing an arc, hit Chizhik on the top of his head!
- Wow! - said Caramel, - let me try!
Caramel launched her magic wand in the direction of the fabulous lake, and she, slightly striking the water surface, returned and clicked Caramel on the nose!
- So what, did you learn something? - Chizhik asked, puzzled, after reading carefully the note from the package.
- I learned something! - Thoughtfully twirling the wand in her hands, answered Caramel, - Firstly, the grandfather of this wand was a boomerang, and the boomerang is such an Australian hunting weapon that always returns to the owner ... Secondly, the cabin boy is now in Australia, from where and sends us such funny gifts, and thirdly, we urgently need something just as funny to send back to the boy!
- Yeah ... Made it up! - said the clown Chizhik, - And let's send the yung a carpet-poet! She will hang him on the wall in the cabin, and in the middle of the night he will begin to tie rhymes with sea knots, as he begins to read poems to her, loudly and loudly, that will be fun on the ship!
- Exactly! Let's go pack the carpet!
A circus tale
Once Karamelka heard the joyful cry of Chizhik coming from the yard."Hurray! - Chizhik squealed gleefully, - it worked! I am now the best circus performer!"
Caramel was surprised and went into the yard to see what exactly led the clown Chizhik to such delight. When she came out, she was even more surprised, because she saw Chizhik, everything, all smeared with chalk, and many, many circles, ovals and circles drawn everywhere, on the path, on the walls of the fairy house, on the roof, and even on the birdhouse .. ...
- Caramel, I am now the best circus performer, because I learned to draw a perfectly even circle! - said Chizhik, looking at Caramel a little down.
- Wait, Chizhik, I'm something ... Why are you the best circus performer? Because you used up all of our crayons to draw circles?
- You do not understand anything! I read in the dictionary that the word "circus" comes from the Latin word "circus", which means "circle". And all clowns are circus performers! This means that the best circus performers should be able to draw a perfectly even circle! I learned!
- In that case, Chizhik, you are not a circus performer, you are a compass! - Caramel laughed.
A little bit about sun bunnies
Once, on a hot, hot summer day, the clown Chizhik wanted to catch a sun bunny. I looked after one - plump, quick. He chased and chased after him, tried to grab him, tried, but nothing came of it."Some shy hare got caught, - thought Chizhik, - and why did I choose the most harmful one? Or maybe he is just wild?"
And Caramel, who sympathetically watched the futile attempts of Chizhik, said: "Chizhik, you cannot catch a sun bunny! Sun bunnies are the wildest animals in a fairyland, they are terribly afraid to play with someone and be late home for dinner, to their mother-sun"
- Clear...
- But! There are still not very wild sunny rabbits, those can be caught. If you quietly come up and stroke their ears, they will immediately freeze in place and sit quietly until the sun-mother calls them over the edge of the earth. Then they will politely and imperceptibly melt until morning ...
- Great! How to distinguish them by their appearance?
- Think for yourself, - Caramel laughed.
And Chizhik, puzzled even more, went to the fabulous library to look for a book about the habits of sunny rabbits.
How Chizhik painted birds
"Albatrosses, pelicans, seagulls, ducks, eggplants" - said the clown Chizhik, taking out an easel and brushes to paint a picture of sea life as a gift to Captain Coconut. "The main thing is not to forget anything, the names of seabirds are so complicated ... albatrosses, pelicans, gulls, ducks ... these, like them, eggplants!" - Chizhik muttered, deftly applying the first strokes of watercolor paint on the canvas with a brush.Three hours later the picture was ready. The art turned out to be so bright, cheerful and festive that the clown Chizhik wanted to show the picture to Caramel before sending it as a gift to Captain Coconut.
- Watercolor! Oh, Caramel, and I painted a picture about seabirds! - Chizhik boasted.
- Wow, how great, - said Caramel, - A wonderful picture, there are so many different water birds here! Who is this?
- Albatross!
- And this?
- Pelican.
- You did it beautifully! And these are seagulls and ducks, I guessed it myself ... Chizhik, why do you have eggplants in the picture, they don't grow in the sea?
“And you don’t know anything, Caramel, they not only grow, but they also hunt for fish, and they shout disgustingly, disgustingly, loudly, loudly, I myself read it in the marine encyclopedia!
Here Caramel burst into laughter and said: "What are you, Chizhik, a ridiculous confusion! Cormorants! Cormorants are sea birds, and eggplants grow near our magic house in the garden. Blue ones. They grow quietly and silently. And they hunt no one!" "
- Oh, again I mixed everything up, now the captain will have to paint another picture as a gift ... And I tried so hard, - the clown Chizhik was upset.
- You don't have to, give this one. It turned out to be funny and fantastic! - said Caramel, - In addition, since last year's birthday I have a gift from the cabin boy, a bottle with embroidery, she embroidered it herself, so on it I water the cormorants growing on a bush from a watering can, and they bite!
A little bit about the incomprehensible
Once, from a particularly distant expedition, the pirate Coconut sent the clown Chizhik as a gift a picture book. Chizhik read it, read it, read it, did not understand anything. More precisely, half understood, and half - not at all. And why he didn't understand - Chizhik didn't understand either. And the clever clown Caramel looked at the book and said: "No wonder - the letters in the book are Japanese!"- And the pictures? - asked Chizhik.
- Do you understand them?
- I only understand them ...
- So the pictures are Russian!
The story of the dog
Once the clown Chizhik made a dog out of a ball for modeling. The dog turned out to be angry, biting. But as soon as she was about to bite Chizhik, she burst out of anger herself. And the clown Chizhik decided to make only kind animals in the future.A little bit about gifts
Once, at a children's birthday party, the clown Chizhik lost his presents. Well, it completely flew out of my head where he put them! And Caramel says: "Do you see the arch made of colorful balls? Look under the arch!" Chizhik looked under the arch, and for sure! It was there that he left gifts for the children. We took Chizhik and Karamelka gifts from under the arch, and gave them all the children!
The tale of the fish
In the early morning, when the birds and butterflies were still asleep, the clown Chizhik started to fish, bit-bit, bit-bit. I fished out a lot of different fish, but all the fish turned out to be somehow boring, taciturn. Gudgeons, crucians, perches ... Ordinary fish, not fabulous at all."It's strange," thought Chizhik, "where does such a boring, ordinary fish come from in the fairyland of Veselyandiya, maybe I did not fish it correctly?"
He let Chizhik go back to the magic lake, returned with a fishing rod to the fairy house and shared his bewilderment with Karamelka.
"No wonder! - said Caramel, - you just fished a fish, so you fished out the usual one. And in order to lure a magic fish, wonderful, you need not fish, but - weird! Let's go weird ashore!"
We took Chizhik with Caramelka their clown props, bright balloons, a lot of all sorts of children's tricks and went to the shore to be funny! Weird, weird, weird, weird, and even weird: Golden Fish, Wonder Yudo fish-whale and Pike, whose orders helped Emelya from another fairy tale. And until the evening they laughed merrily with the fish, shared with them funny land stories, and they, in turn, all sorts of amusements from aquatic life.
And when the sun began to tilt towards the horizon, and the crayfish, yawning, whistled from the other side, the clowns and wonderful fish said goodbye and dispersed, scattered to their homes, very pleased with each other!
A fairy tale about mocus
Once the clown Chizhik was learning to do magic tricks with a magic album, and it was in the summer, so the clown Chizhik breathed fresh air, listened to birds, basked in the sun and at the same time was doing useful and fun things. When suddenly thunder struck, a downpour fell from the clear sky, and before Chizhik had time to recover, he and his magic album became completely wet.- Eh, the focus will not work now. Everything is wet now! - Chizhik complained to Karamelka when he returned to the fairytale house.
- It's okay if everything is wet - let it be not a trick, but a mock! - Laughed, consoled Caramel.
Story about a robot
Once the clown Chizhik took his magic tablet and wanted to find out in which sea his friends, the pirates Coconut and the Bottle, are now swimming with Caramel. But for some reason, the robot Index, who lived in a magic tablet and always regularly found everything he needed, this time slipped Chizhik some abandoned bays, some incomprehensible addresses, various pictures on which, in addition to the real Captain Coconut and the cabin boy, the Flasks met completely different pirates, and sometimes not pirates at all."It's a strange thing, - thought Chizhik, - maybe someone has bewitched Index robot? What do you think, Caramel?"
- No, Chizhik, this is not witchcraft, most likely the Index robot has fallen into a state of stupidity, it happens, it’s iron, and therefore breaks sometimes, and when engineer Gluck comes to visit him for repairs, he is so keen on improving the Index, which sometimes changes serviceable parts to new ones, but completely untested ones. Look!
- Where to?
- To the Index icon!
- Look...
- Read what is written under the icon?
- "Index! Losing everything!"
- Here! And before it was "Index! I know everything."
- And what to do now? How do we know where Coconut and the Jar are now?
- Let's send them a letter in a bottle and wait for an answer.
- Come on!
Chizhik and Caramel wrote a letter to Captain Kokos and the cabin boy Sklyanka, put it in a bottle of strawberry juice, sealed it with colored magic plasticine, threw it into a fabulous river and the river carried the bottle into the sea.
- Eh, - Chizhik said dreamily, - perhaps it's not so bad that engineer Gluck is now experimenting with the robot Index, because we remembered such a wonderful way of delivering letters, romantic, fabulous, sea.
- Come on, Chizhik, first we will wait for a response from the pirates, and then we will decide whether it is good or bad that Index robot is constantly being repaired, - said Caramel with a sigh.
Caring home
Once the clown Chizhik decided to go outside, opened the door of the magic house, stepped onto the threshold and ended up in the closet! Before the clown Chizhik was surprised, a hat with earflaps fell on him from the top shelf of the closet, exactly on the top of his head. Chizhik, without thinking twice, left the closet and again tried to go out into the street, took a step outside and for some reason found himself not on the street, but near the shelf with shoes that stood in the hallway, and Chizhik's feet hit exactly the winter boots! "Something strange happened to our door" - thought the clown Chizhik and decided to get into the street through the window. He opened the sash, stood on the windowsill ... Bam! Found myself in the dressing room, wearing a coat! Moreover, the mittens flew off the hanger, and, chirping loudly, landed right on the hands of Chizhik. Although the word "landed" clearly did not fit here, but Chizhik was so dumbfounded that he could not find a better word to explain the strange behavior of the mittens. "Tamed, adjusted, okay, then I'll figure it out ... But how can I get out on the street?" - thought Chizhik. Through the fireplace! Chizhik squeezed into the fireplace and climbed up the chimney, but as soon as he stepped from the chimney to the roof, he was back in the closet! A strange hissing was heard, a warm scarf wrapped around the neck of the clown Chizhik, and with a rather grumbled silence ... The completely bewildered Chizhik again went to the door, opened it, looked out into the street, and carefully, on tiptoe, tried to leave ... It turned out ! And on the street, it turns out that the first snow fell during the night, a noticeable frost hit, and all the branches of the trees of the fabulous country were covered with a pretty frost! "That is why the magic house did not let me walk, he took care of me!" - Chizhik guessed and gratefully stroked the wall of the house. The little house giggled cheerfully, but the same one remembered that it was big and important, and, with an edifying creak of the platbands, fell silent. "Next time I will dress myself for the weather, and not as it comes to my head!" - Chizhik promised and happily galloped to the lake - to look at the thin, sparkling ice.And when Chizhik breathed in fresh air, admired the snowflakes, he returned to the fairytale house, and he and Caramel began to prepare for the next children's holiday. Collect props, come up with funny games and tricks for children, prepare prizes and surprises
* Teach sound-letter analysis of words.
* To consolidate the skill of word-by-word reading.
* Develop visual and auditory perception, logical thinking, imagination, memory.
EQUIPMENT
Notebooks; colour pencils; a pen; rebus "Vasya"; posters; portrait of a clown; colored chips for analysis; split alphabet.
Organizing time
Poster:
EYES, EYEBROWS, NOSE, SMILE, HEAD
CURLES, CAP, TWO BUTTONS, SLEEVES,
HANDS, TROUSERS, BOOTS, VALENOK, IN HANDS
DRUM, DOOK.
Sign the picture - CLOWN.
Sound-letter analysis of the word CLOWN
Tasks:
Divide the word into syllables;
Write down the syllabic scheme;
Build a sound house;
Color the sound rooms;
Write the word down in letters.
Solution of the letter puzzle: what is the name of the clown? (Vasya.)The clown came to life and walked across the land of words to amuse the people. I came to town and posted a poster: "Show tricks. Pay for tricks- kilogram of garbage. I take garbage from the yard. Clown Vasya ".
After reading this announcement, the hostesses began to urgently clean their apartments.
And this was the first trick that the clown showed people. The whole city immediately found out who was dirty with them. Those who could not scrape together a whole kilogram of garbage, the clown Vasya put in the best places and the show began.
Word transformations
The clown asks to put the word COP in letters on the board and on the desks, and then turns it into the word CHEESE, which he treated his viewers. From a pile of garbage, he took a candy wrapper and turned it into a bow (how did he turn the word FANTIC into the word BANTIK?)
The clown gave the girl a bow, took out a stick, turned the word STICK into the word GALKA and let the bird free (independently turn the word STICK into the word GALKA, what letters need to be changed?)
Physical education "Exercise for the clown"
Any exercises familiar to children are used.
Tricks from words
Clown Vasya invites everyone to his school of magicians. Reading the poster:
* How did the pumpkin croak?
* How was a hut built from a bath?
* How did the clown make a house out of smoke?
* How did you turn a cat into a mole?
* How did you launch the carriage into space? Read before playing:
If you take a big word,
Take out the letters one and two,
And then collect them again -
New words will come out.
Prompt:pumpkin, mole, from the bath, smoke, rocket. Work in notebooks: write down the resulting words: KVA, CANCER, IZBA, DOM, MOLE, ROCKET.
Lesson summary
Tell the story about clown Vasya to parents and educator.
Thank you, ABC!
(final lesson on teaching literacy in the preparatory group for school)
* To consolidate and generalize the knowledge and skills of children received in speech therapy classes throughout the year.
EQUIPMENT
Notebooks; colour pencils; a pen; rebus "I want to know everything"; posters; the icon "Pencil".
Speech therapist... My friends! Congratulations, you have learned all the letters of the Russian alphabet, learned to analyze the sound and syllabic composition of words, write, read, solve puzzles, charades, puzzles, crosswords. And in this they helped you: hard work, patience, curiosity and perseverance and, of course, friends who helped to discover the secrets of literacy. They have come to say goodbye to you. These are TIM and TOM, SOUNDS, BELL KOLYA, AMU, MASTER OF SYMBOLS, LETTER, SERVANT ERROR. Among them are not only Her Majesty QUEEN GRAMOTH.
We will go to her. I would really like our journey today to be ...
Children read the words, finishing the speech therapist's phrase.
In one circus, a clown named Dynamic lived and worked. It was a very sad, sad clown. No one ever saw a smile on his face, and there was always sadness in his eyes. The speaker did not know how to make people laugh, and at his performances the children cried because he told sad stories. After his performance, other artists - jugglers, acrobats, magicians and trainers could not cheer up the audience, although they tried their best. So they scolded their colleague behind the scenes. Even the director of the circus - Doctor of Artistic Sciences Tsirkul sometimes got angry and told the Dynamics to stop such scenes. “After you, dear Speaker, we cannot make the audience laugh! - he said in his office, where after the performance came a sad clown with a drooping head. - Soon they will stop coming to us, and all because you are not doing what a clown should do! Become hilarious! Tell funny stories, anecdotes! Read cheerful poems! "
The speaker promised, but couldn't help it. He went to the arena, began his performance, and again the audience left the circus all upset and in tears. Why was the clown like this? Nobody knew this, although it was very simple. He didn't have a friend. A faithful friend with whom he could speak, with whom he would share bread, whom he would entrust with all his secrets. But you know how hard it is for a person in the world if he does not have a faithful friend.
Once, when it was raining outside, and everything was wet in the circus - from the tears of spectators, the director Tsirkul could not stand it and drove the clown away, saying that he no longer wanted to endure such an artist who scares away clients. “You need to go to a drama theater and learn tragic roles there! - in his hearts he told him goodbye. - I will accept you back only when you become a funny clown and show a funny performance, from which the audience will fall with laughter.
The clown took his backpack, put his cap, sandals, his costume in there, and, closing his wagon with the key, walked down the street away from the circus. Water flowed everywhere in streams, it was even possible to drown in the resulting puddles, it was cold, the north wind was blowing. In this weather, people sat at home, and no one wanted to stick out even their nose. From time to time, buses and cars rushed by, spraying him from head to toe. The drivers did not understand what the Speaker was doing in such weather on the street where he was going.
And the Speaker went without knowing where. He was sad. "Eh, find a friend!" - he dreamed, and then through the howl of the wind he heard a subtle squeal. More precisely, a squeal. The surprised clown stopped. “Maybe it’s fancy,” he thought, and then he heard these strange sounds again. He bent over a trash can and saw a small dog sitting in a pile of rags. It was clear that the dog was hungry. Moreover, he was cold, he was trembling all over.
- What's your name? The clown asked.
- Ball, - answered the dog, continuing to tremble and squeal.
- What are you doing here?
Sharik looked reproachfully at the Dynamics, they say, why are you asking such stupid questions, can't you see that I have no home.
- So you are alone? - Guessed the clown and took off his backpack. In one of the pockets, he found sausage and bread and treated the dog.
- Alone, completely alone, - Sharik nodded and began to eat the treat. - I have no one - no brothers, no sisters, no parents.
“You know, I’m alone, too,” said the Speaker thoughtfully. - And, unfortunately, I have no friends ... Listen, let's be friends? He suggested. - We will be good and faithful friends.
Sharik looked at him and asked:
- And you will not offend me, beat me with a stick or drive me out into the street?
- No, of course not! - exclaimed the Speaker. - Although I am a sad clown, but good. And he never beat anyone or chased anyone away.
- Good! - Sharik was delighted. - What is your name?
The speaker introduced himself.
- Are clowns sad? - Sharik was surprised. - After all, they are all cheerful and cheerful, they should make people laugh ...
The dynamics had to explain why he was a sad clown. “I left the circus because my colleagues didn't want to work with me,” he said. “After all, no one likes it when the audience cries from such numbers and leaves the circus in frustrated feelings!”
- You know, - Sharik barked cheerfully. - I'm also almost an artist. I can count, jump over a hoop, guess riddles and even sing!
- Wow! - the Speaker was delighted. - So, you and I can make funny numbers? I'm glad to work with you! We are friends now!
“Of course,” the dog answered. - And now you will not be sad, but a funny clown.
And the two of them went back to the circus. They were so passionate about each other, told interesting stories and laughed, that they did not even notice the cold and rain. They were so amused that surprised faces of residents began to look out of the houses, they say, what happened there, since in such bad weather someone is funny. And we saw a walking clown and a dog. People immediately understood that they were friends, real friends, and they felt good together.
The speaker and Sharik, having come to the circus, first looked at the director. Dr. Compass was standing at the window, and he was very sad. After all, he chased away the clown, whom he loved in his heart, even if even the Speaker was the saddest of the artists. And the fact that he did such a bad deed worried him. Indeed, the director was a very kind person.
And he was very happy when he saw the Dynamics, and even accompanied by a furry friend.
- I'm ready to perform with a new number! - said the clown, clapping his hands. - Now I am the funniest artist, because I have a loyal friend. Here it is! - and he introduced the dog. - This is Sharik, my partner. We came up with very funny scenes.
- That's good! - Doctor Tsirkul was delighted. - Then go to the arena. After all, the audience has not left yet. They sit and wait for new interesting performances.
Clown and Sharik ran to the arena. Seeing the Dynamics, all the spectators were ready to cry, and the children even had wrinkled faces and hiccups. But the Speaker laughed so fervently that everyone was surprised at first. And when Sharik appeared on the stage and began to jump over the hoop, do somersaults and perform tricks, everyone clapped their hands. The audience really liked a couple of clowns, and now they happily went to the circus, because now there was not a sad, but a cheerful Speaker and his faithful friend - Sharik.
And, of course, the director was happy, because the best artists lived and worked in his circus.
Artist Alisher Taksanov
Dedicated to the Minsk circus, recently opened after restoration.
Every circus has a clown and not even one. All children know about it. The clown makes the audience laugh and amuses, comes up with various tricks and jokes. It's interesting with him!
There was also a clown in the circus, which I will tell you about. Old clown. It was no longer easy for him to go on stage every day and play in such a way that all the audience would laugh until they drop. But, he tried very hard, came up with new funny tricks, and the audience loved him. Which viewers did he like the most? Well, of course, children!
And further. The clown had a wonderful secret - his little songbird. She lived with him for a long time. The clown became attached to her: he fed, cleaned the cage and even told the bird about his life. It seemed to him that she understood him. Because always, when the clown was cheerful and good-natured, the bird sang tender songs in a gentle voice, and when he came from the show, anxious and silent, she did not interfere with his thinking and never broke the silence.
- You are my friend, my assistant! - said the old man to the bird. Most likely, it was so.
Once the parents brought a little girl to the circus show. The child was very sad and pale. Probably, the girl is not quite strong from a serious illness, and mom and dad wanted to cheer her up. After all, everyone knows that a good mood improves health. Seeing the clown on the stage, the girl immediately cheered up, smiled, laughed and began to clap her hands. After the performance, my mother decided to thank the clown for a good performance. Taking her daughter in her arms, she went backstage to the dressing room. The girl immediately saw a bird cage hanging in a corner. Like a mesmerized little girl, she looked at the bird and listened to her sonorous voice. And when mother, thanking the clown for the wonderful performance, was about to leave, the daughter in her arms burst into tears. The clown, seeing the poor child crying, decided to give her the bird. The clown's heart was breaking with pain as he parted with his beloved and dear singer.
The very next day the old man realized how much he missed his winged girlfriend. He became silent and gloomy, longing settled in his soul. From that day on, the clown could not perform as he did before. His jokes were not amusing, they were sad. The audience did not understand what happened to their beloved friend. But he himself understood everything.
Soon, the old clown felt that he could no longer make anyone laugh. And he left the circus. But how can the circus remain without a clown? The audience, especially the children, having come to the performance, were eagerly awaiting the appearance of a cheerful joker on the stage, but he was not there.
- Return the clown to the circus! - the audience said to the director of the circus.
The director did not know what to do to make the clown return to the circus and play as before. Only the rooster and the pig, old acquaintances of the old clown, living in a small house next to his house, understood why he was sad. One day, they came to him and said:
- The circus needs a clown, because he makes people laugh and gives them a good mood. If you want, we will work with you and help entertain the audience. You will see, you still succeed. You need to believe in yourself!
Hearing such kind words, the old man cheered up. After all, he himself understood that he had done a bad deed by leaving the circus. Soon, the clown came up with new interesting numbers, jokes and tricks and began performing on the circus stage as energetically and fun as before.
Maybe it became easier for the old clown to work, because now his faithful friends, a rooster and a piglet help him? After all, without loyal friends, any person, even the most cheerful and energetic, is very bad to live in the world.
In the photo there is a sculpture at the entrance to the Minsk circus. Photo by Alexey Kudryavtsev.
P.s. read my tales and stories at http://domarenok-t.narod.ru
FIRST DAY OF LESSON
It happened once.
It happened one night at six in the evening.
It happened once at six o'clock in the evening in a very large city. In Moscow.
One newspaper ran an ad:
Dear comrades people!
If you have familiar clowns from the circus or from life, tell them that a school for clowns is opening on the street named after the grandmother of cosmonaut Anton Semenov. It will teach clowns to read, write, and behave. Then there will be work on television or in the best circuses in the country. We are waiting for you, dear clowns.
We are waiting for you tomorrow.
Come.
The next morning a whole demonstration of clowns lined up at the entrance to the school. There were fat clowns and thin clowns, white clowns and Negro clowns. They made noise, shouted, jumped and played different musical instruments. On watering cans, violins, harps, pans.
A very important guest arrived in a big black car - the Minister for Education and Entertainment.
Then a strict citizen with glasses and a man's green hat came out of the school. She took a report from her briefcase and read:
Dear clowns, we will work hard.
Then part of the demonstration disappeared. These were the noisiest clowns.
We will all do our exercises!
Another part of the demonstration disappeared around the corner. They were fat clowns.
And we will wash ourselves properly!
In this place, negro clowns fled. They were not Negro at all, but not washed.
There are only two clowns left. The boy and the girl.
Then a very young woman ran into the porch - the school director. She said:
What are you doing, Vasilisa Potapovna? So you will scare away all the students. You didn't even say that we have a living corner. We will sing songs. Go to the zoo. And so it is inconvenient for us to open a school. It turns out that there are more teachers than students.
The same number, ”said the woman in the hat. This was the main teacher of the school. “There are two of us and there are two of them.
And Uncle Shakir? He's the third, - the headmaster disagreed.
Comrade Shakir is not a teacher. Comrade Shakir is a janitor.
So he can teach how to sweep. So he is also a bit of a teacher. And it turns out that there are more of us ...
Thank God the postman came up and brought a telegram. Vasilisa Potapovna in a green hat read:
MEET ME. I ALREADY FLY OUT.
CLOWN SANIA FROM TAIGA AND HIS FAITHFUL POLKAN.
I don’t understand, ”she said. - Why he flew out of the taiga. And why? Since he can write telegrams, he has nothing to do here.
Then the training master from the car intervened:
Clown Sanya is probably a hunter. He lives in the taiga. Polkan is his faithful dog. They flew to your place to study.
But how did he write the telegram if he is illiterate? - Vasilisa Potapovna continued to ask.
I think he did not write it, - the minister explained, - he dictated it over the phone. Straight from the taiga.
Suddenly a plane appeared in the sky. Two points separated from him, over which two parachutes flashed. They were the clown Sanya and the faithful Polkan.
Hooray! - everyone shouted.
Only Polkan turned out to be not a faithful dog, but a faithful goat. It was a hunting, service and guard goat. New special Michurin breed. She was also a sled and tracker. She was raised by Sanya himself in the taiga with a dog nursery. You will learn more about it.
Well, now that's it, ”said the director. - There are three students, you can open a school. You can cut the ribbon.
This is usually done by the most honored guest. The Minister of Education and Entertainment was such a guest. And Vasilisa Potapovna handed the scissors to him.
Wait a minute, ”the girl director said. - Our school is fun, and opening it must be fun.
She took off the kerchief from her head and blindfolded her guest. And he went, clicking the scissors. Here the minister climbed the steps. And at the door stood a bearded janitor, Comrade Shakir.
Chick! .. - scissors clicked.
And Uncle Shakir's huge beard fell to the floor. It became visible many orders on the chest.
The minister hesitated, got back into the car and drove away.
Then Vasilisa Potapovna took the scissors and cut off a string bag with food from one citizen.
Finally, the clown Natasha - the youngest student - cut the ribbon and Irina Vadimovna invited everyone to the class. She said:
I am Irina Vadimovna. I will teach you how to write and read. In addition, I am the director ... This, - here she pointed at the green hat, - Vasilisa Potapovna. She is the main educator. Will teach you good behavior.
Then the clowns began to get up.
I am the clown Sanya from the taiga, - said the clown Sanya from the taiga. - Next to me at my desk is my Polkan. We never part. Polkan, voice!
Polkan shouted:
Me-e-e-e-e-e!
I hope you are not sleeping in the same bed with Polkan? - asked Irina Vadimovna.
No. He sleeps under the bed.
It is wonderful that you are such lovebirds. But still, Polkan's place is in the yard or in a living corner, and not at his desk.
Uncle Shakir came and tied Polkan to a peg in the yard. Polkan was displeased. And then he shouted through the window for a long time.
My name is Natasha, - said young Natasha. - I want to appear on TV and act in films. I want to be the most famous.
And my name is Shura, - said the third clown. He was very red-haired. - I'm a little crazy. I'm with a shift.
He blushed violently.
Interesting, interesting, - said Vasilisa Potapovna. - What is your shift?
If I think about something hard, it immediately appears. I have such a property.
Everyone pondered over this property. And Irina Vadimovna asked:
Please think about ice cream. To have it with cream. In cups.
Shura began to think so strongly that even the hair on his head began to move. And ears too. Bam! And an ice cream bowl appeared on the table in front of him. And there are two brushes in it. One dental, the other shoe. And two tubes - black and white. With toothpaste and shoe polish.
I knew it! - exclaimed Shura. - It's all because I didn't clean my teeth and shoes today.
Natasha touched the brushes. And the clown Sanya took Shura by the arm and took him aside.
I wanted to bring a dozen cedar cones from the taiga. For gifts. I forgot in the confusion. Is it possible to make me have at least a couple? But the healthiest.
Shura thought deeply and deeply for his comrade. I widened my eyes. Clap! And two big bumps popped out on Sanya's forehead! And what is interesting - not cedar at all.
Wow! - gasped business Sanya. - And I also wanted to ask for an imported flashlight. Now I would all glow!
It seems that we all met! - said Irina Vadimovna.
But then the door opened and another person entered. He was completely grown up. Shaved, with a tie and a large briefcase.
I am Comrade Pomidorov, ”he said. - Arrived at the courses for raising the supply managers. Here are my documents. The manual sent me.
Your leadership was wrong, - the head teacher said instructively, - you need a neighboring house. Improvement courses for supply managers there. This is a clown school.
Leadership cannot be wrong! - objected Pomidorov.
Okay, stay, ”the headmistress said. - Sit on the first desk. It will be more interesting for us. We begin the first lesson.
But then the bell rang, and the first day of class ended.
APPENDICES for the first day of class
Appendix one. WHERE POLKAN COMES FROM
(Note from the newspaper "Modern woodcutter")
Listen to it guys, and then try to retell it to your parents. Or stupid junior comrades. It is called:
"CASE IN THE DOG KENNEL"
It happened at a distant taiga outpost. The goat Mashka gave birth to seven kids. Perhaps too many. Autumn time, with grass interruptions.
“It won't feed,” the mistress decided. - Six more here and there, and the seventh will have to drown!
But the owner's son, the young taiga hunter Sanya, decided to save the seventh kid. Just at this time puppies were born to the service border dog Naida. Just two. Although four were expected.
The young hunter put the seventh kid next to the puppies. And Naida began to feed him.
Time passed. The goat was growing by leaps and bounds. A month later he firmly knew his nickname Polkan, knew how to serve a thrown ball and easily performed the commands "Sit!", "Lie down!", "Run!" and "Voice!"
Sanya persistently raised Polkan. Every morning he ran a dozen or two kilometers with him.
He taught me to follow the trail, jump over the fence, walk on a log and a tightly stretched wire.
Polkan became an amazing creature. He could sit in ambush for hours. He could easily pierce a metal barrel with sharp horns. He knew how to carry a sleigh and a cart. And he did not forget to give milk. After all, Polkan was ultimately a goat.
And once Polkan detained a violator at the border. He was a seasoned spy, a mother of foreign intelligence. He was well prepared to fight the dogs. He knew tricks against biting, but did not know against butting. And Polkan took it, one might say, with his bare horns.
For this feat Polkan was awarded. The famous goat was awarded a certificate of honor and a valuable gift - a button accordion.
Polkan did not really need this tool. And young Sanya constantly played on it.
It seems to us that the experience of the young Michurin hunter is worthy of every possible study and introduction into the national economy.
Correspondent Zhuvachkin
Appendix two. WHAT THE CLOWNS DO AFTER LESSON
As soon as the bell rang and the first day of class was over, Comrade Pomidorov took the briefcase under his arm, said goodbye to everyone and left.
The girl-director Irina Vadimovna jumped on a motorcycle and dashed off into the city.
And Vasilisa Potapovna lined up the clowns in numerical order and took them to the courtyard of the school, where there was a special two-story extension. There were rooms for students and a dining room.
At the entrance stood the hostess sister, she is the brother-cook, Aunt Fekla Parkinen. With great bread and salt and delicious borsch soup.
Oh, how smart and beautiful you are! And my name is Aunt Thekla. It's very easy to remember. Here are the glasses, and these are glasses, and behind them aunt ...
Beet! - said Natasha.
But Aunt Thekla was not even offended. She fed everyone with dinner and invited them to come running to gnaw delicious crackers at any time.
Then the clowns were called to look at the rooms.
Natasha got a large room with a chandelier, a sofa and even a kitten. There was a list of things on the wall. It said:
The chandelier is one.
The sofa is one.
Kitten Vaska - one piece.
Natasha was delighted with the kitten Vaska - "one piece". She immediately rushed to Aunt Fekla to ask for one saucer of milk for Vaska, while Shura and Sanya were accommodated together. Their room had two chandeliers, two sofas, two wardrobes, and two table lamps. There were even two TVs. And two mirrors, so as not to push in front of one in the evenings.
Look guys, does everything occur twice here? Maybe there are less items here. For example, how many floors are there? And ceilings?
How many players are there? Walking excavators? Bowhead whales?
Not much? Truth? They just don't exist.
When there are no items, they say that there are zero. There are zero footballers, zero excavators, zero bowhead whales.
Third appendix. ABOUT THE STUDENT'S WORKPLACE
Our clowns have settled well in their school. I think you guys are doing pretty well at home too. At least you have a job. This is a comfortable table.
You need pens, pencils, erasers, plasticine, chewing gum and all the joy on it. And so that the light falls on the left. If the light is on the right, then the shadow from the hand will interfere with creating drawing masterpieces.
If your parents did not arrange such a place for you, if they misunderstand something, sing them a song about the workplace.
My words, your music. So sing it:
SONG ABOUT THE WORKPLACE
Children-guys who do not have a job:
Dad and mom,
We know this
Have your own desk at work
Or a machine.
So give us too
A permanent place
So that everyone can master
And I, for the sake of progress,
I ask parents -
Give children a notebook
And a pencil.
Children-guys who ...
Let in our apartment
Furniture is cramped -
Wardrobes and sofas
They stand in the way.
But still a child
Workplace
Parents urgently
And I, for the sake of progress,
I ask parents -
Give children a notebook
And a pencil.
Children-guys, at ...
Scientists and educated people
Our country is very
And they are very much needed
So we won't chill
We are literate urgently
Must learn.
Just U ...
And I, for the sake of progress,
And dad and mom I ask -
Give children a notebook
And a pencil.
If the song doesn't work, draw a poster with a table, chair, and table lamp. Hang it on a brush or broom and walk around the apartment, shouting these slogans:
"A WORKPLACE FOR EVERY CHILD",
"I DON'T WANT TO BE A LADDLESS, I WANT TO BE AN ACADEMIC!"
"YOU WILL NOT RECOGNIZE ME FROM TOMORROW."
And this is the most dangerous call for parents:
"GIVE EVERY CHILD ON A KITTEN!"
They won't give you a kitten right away, but you will probably get a job.
SECOND DAY OF CLASS
At first Vasilisa Potapovna decided to educate clowns a little. She said:
Dear students! If a person is cultured, he simply must be able to write and read.
And not true! - Natasha immediately objected. - I, for example, cultured. I don't fight. I don’t spit where I don’t need to. But I can't write.
And I'm cultured! - clown Sanya the clown. - I have two whole handkerchiefs. One is mine. One for Polkan. I can't read.
But a cultured person should know everything, - insisted Vasilisa Potapovna. - That's why he reads the newspapers!
And I listen to the radio, - objected the modest Shura. - And I also know everything. How many degrees in the suburbs. What are the events now in Africa.
What are the events in Africa now? Natasha asked. - Aibolit is still there?
So it turns out that it is not necessary to study? - Vasilisa Potapovna was confused.
It turns out that it turns out that way, - answered Shura.
There was a crash of a motorcycle. It was Irina Vadimovna who arrived. Pomidorov appeared behind her with a briefcase under his arm.
What were you doing here?
Vasilisa Potapovna explained to us that it is not at all necessary to study! - shouted joyful Natasha. - You can listen to the radio and know everything.
And if you need to write a letter to a friend?
We will call him by phone.
And if there is no phone?
We will draw this letter, - Natasha did not stop. - Using pictures.
Okay! - said Irina Vadimovna. - In that case, we will conduct an experiment. Clown Sanya and I will go to a living corner. He will draw a letter. And you will read it.
The clowns were delighted and waited. And Comrade Pomidorov read the newspaper.
In a living corner, Irina Vadimovna said to Sanya:
Do you remember the telegram you sent us from the taiga?
Sure.
Draw it.
Sanya thought hard. Then he took a pencil and drew this drawing:
The headmistress looked and said:
I don `t understand. After all, the telegram was: “Meet me. I have already taken off. Clown Sanya from the taiga and his faithful Polkan. And no flies.
And there are no flies here. This is a bee. It buzzes. So you need to read: f-f-f. And this is a child. Together it turns out: w-w-w-wait. Then I am drawn.
What are you doing?
I'm already flying.
What does it have to do with it?
And despite the fact that it turns out: w-w-w-wait. I'm already flying. That is, I am already on the plane. In the sense - took off.
What. It is logical, - the boss agreed. - Just you and the plane ... And there was also in the telegram about Polkan.
Sanya agreed and finished painting. Here's what he got:
In other words:
I’m already flying the plane with Polkan.
Then Sanya whistled, and Polkan rushed from the yard, knocking his high heels on the parquet. Sanya stuffed a letter into his mouth and told him to take it to the clowns.
And so Polkan burst into the classroom with a message in his teeth. Everyone rushed to him. The first, as usual, was Natasha. She began to read:
Oh, it's all very simple. When Sanya was small, he was bitten by a fly. So he even flew up. He was ill and suffered for a long time. And he decided when he grows up, he will become a doctor and will treat animals.
What? - said Vasilisa Potapovna. - A very touching story. Maybe it was.
No, - objected Shura. - It should be read in a different way. Look: Polkan, already, doctor ... Well this poem turns out.
Polkan is already ill,
Like a little child.
Fly all to me
He is ill without joking.
Let's make amendments, - said the poetic Shura. - Let's take into account the fly.
And the tail must be taken into account, - put in Natasha.
And we will take into account the tail. Here's what will happen:
Polkan is already all healthy,
Like a little child.
He flies to us like a fly,
Twirling your tail.
Vasilisa Potapovna was amazed. How did so much poetry come out of such a small letter? Just now Polkan was ill with a high fever, and now he is already healthy, "twirling his tail." Vasilisa Potapovna herself only twisted her head.
At this time, in a live corner, Irina Vadimovna talked with the clown Sanya.
You lived before, Sanya, in the taiga. Your hunting squirrel goat tracked down. Around open spaces, fields, motorcycles. Now you have to work. Learn to write and count.
Only write! - objected Sanya. - I don't have to count. I really want to correspond with one girl. I saw her in Ogonyok. And I decided to be friends with her. - He pulled a magazine wrapped in cellophane from under his shirt and showed the portrait. - She is strict and serious.
A very nice girl! - praised Irina Vadimovna. - We will definitely get to know her better. I think I even know where she lives.
Polkan is already all healthy,
Like a little child.
He flies to us like a fly,
Twirling your tail.
In give! - Irina Vadimovna laughed. “You sent them a telegram, and they wrote a whole poem.
Then Sanya told everything about his letter.
Such a letter should be sent together with the writer, - said Comrade Pomidorov. - So that he himself can guess. How do I know that this is LJ-child, and not LJ-child?
Maybe we can do one more experiment? - said Irina Vadimovna.
Let's!
There is a popular appeal: "Hide matches from children." Write it using pictures.
The clowns conferred for a long time in the corner with Comrade Pomidorov. Then they brought the drawing. There was a woman in the corner. She was washing something in the trough. And there were many, many matches around.
What does it mean? - asked Irina Vadimovna.
And Vasilisa Potapovna just blinked from under her glasses.
This is a laundress, ”Natasha said. - These are matches. So it comes out: THE WASHING MATCH. That is, the HINT OF THE MATCH. This is clear to anyone, even the underdeveloped.
No, - Irina Vadimovna disagreed. - Here even the highly developed will not understand anything. Either it is "Hide the matches", or it is "Wash the wood." You can't do it with your drawings ... But what about the surnames? Does Comrade Pomidorov need to draw a tomato in his passport?
The clowns were saddened. Indeed, the drawings will not go far.
And now let's draw conclusions, - the headmistress said sternly but cheerfully. - People communicate with each other through conversation, letters, telegrams, notes and gestures ... for example, clicks.
She said so and gave Sanya a click. Because he put his hand in the aquarium and communicated with the fish by fishing.
We can even talk to people who have died long ago. And to understand them, because we can read the books written by them.
I really love old books, ”Natasha said. - They are so huge. You can build a house from them. If you crack someone with such a book, he will immediately wiser. Twice.
And Irina Vadimovna continued:
And all our speech consists of separate requests, thoughts, descriptions.
They are conveyed by sentences. Here's an example sentence: "The boy is stuck in the snow."
Let everyone come up with a proposal, - suggested Vasilisa Potapovna.
Comrade Pomidorov was the first to come up with:
Citizen Petrov went to the bank and got stuck there.
Clown Sanya picked up:
Citizen Petrova went to the bank and got stuck there.
Natasha developed this idea.
Their children Petya and Tanyusha went to the bank and got stuck there. Poor.
And the clown Shura was silent.
Why are you silent? - asked Irina Vadimovna. - Think of something.
What to invent? Everyone is already stuck ... In this bank.
APPENDICES for the second day of classes
Appendix one. UNKNOWN
This, guys, is a photograph from Ogonyok magazine. A portrait of the girl with whom hunting Sanya wants to correspond. What can you say about her? How old is she? What is her job? Why is he sitting in this chair on the street? If she has children? How do they behave?
Let mom write your story. And in twenty years you will read it. And you will be very happy.
Appendix two. LESSON OF AUNT FEKLA
Here are glasses, and these are glasses,
And behind them Aunt Thekla.
She made a delicious dinner and said:
I don't know what they teach you at school, but I would like to teach you how to behave correctly at the table. The main thing is to eat more. It is very useful. The more a person eats, the more he gets fat. The more he gets fat, the more he gets healthy.
And in our taiga, fat people feel bad! - said Sanya. - He wants to sit on a horse - the horse will lie down. If he wants to climb a tree, the tree will bend.
Well-mannered people do not climb a horse and do not sit on trees, - said Aunt Fekla. - They live at home, watch TV. And the guests are looked after. Here you are, Shura, why don't you look after Natasha? Please pass her the cutlets.
Shura reached for cutlets, but the clown Sanya ran around the table and grabbed the plate from the other side.
Give it back. I want to be educated.
And I want to be raised.
I want to be polite too!
Then the plate broke, and the cutlets flew to Natasha themselves. And the pasta went the other way. They fell on Aunt Thekla. And she got a beautiful old hairstyle. From pasta.
Aunt Thekla got angry and hit both of them with a spoon. So the conversation about politeness and education ended.
Third appendix. FIGURE FOR ATTENTION
This is the room in which Natasha the clown has been living for two days. See, she's a complete mess. Everything is everywhere lying around and hanging in the wrong place. Tights are on the chandelier, on the table there are fashionable boots, and in the closet behind the glass the kitten Vaska is jumping - “one piece”. It probably happens in your rooms too.
If Natasha urgently needs to go on a business trip, she will not leave earlier than in a week. Because only an experienced detective can find a coat, boots and a toothbrush.
Try to find in the picture five items you need to travel to another city - a toothbrush, a hairbrush, a suitcase, a wallet, and an alarm clock.
THIRD DAY OF LESSONS
In the morning everyone came to the door and were shocked. Because there was a lock on the door. A note was pinned next to it:
“Empty the premises immediately. Courses for increasing the supply of households will be located here.
Comrade Cockroaches ".
Irina Vadimovna told the students:
Last time we said that we transmit all thoughts and desires to each other in sentences. There are three sentences in this note. "Clear the premises immediately." "Courses for increasing the supply of services will be placed here." And "Comrade Cockroaches". Clear?
It's clear, - said Sanya. - Only it is not clear.
What's not clear?
It is not clear what to do with the room. Liberate or not.
In no case. We continue our studies. I ask you to retell this note in your own words.
May I? cried Natasha. - I already thought of it. In your own words, you must say: “Dear clowns, get out of here as soon as possible. It will not be you who will be taught, but the managers. Friend of all insects. "
Very good. But what does the insect friend have to do with it?
Since he is a friend of cockroaches, in other words, he is a friend of insects.
Tarakanov is such a name, - Pomidorov intervened. - This is my boss. He commands all the supply managers in the area.
Irina Vadimovna began to tug at the bell angrily. And Natasha shouted:
Oh, Shura! Shura! Think about it and make it so that we have a key!
Shura pondered, hummed. Then he put his hat on the ground and said:
Time! Two! Three!
The hat flew up and hit him right on the head. And everyone saw a trickle of water pouring out of the ground. It turned out to be a wonderful fontanelle, a key.
Good key! - said Irina Vadimovna. - Wet. Only you can't tell them anything.
Then she asked Pomidorov:
Where does insect friend work?
Sits in the office. Or running around the city. The superintendent checks.
He won't run far! - shouted hot Sanya. - Polkan, come to me!
Polkan was tied to a peg in the yard. He rode along with the peg. Sanya gave him a note from the door to smell and ordered:
Polkan rushed forward on the trail. Only hooves pounded.
Stop! - Irina Vadimovna shouted. - Stop! He will bite him.
Where there! Polkan was no longer visible! .. The sleigh too.
Then Irina Vadimovna roared with a motorcycle and flew out after him, scalding everyone on the turns with pebbles.
The rest of the clowns also rushed in pursuit, but Vasilisa Potapovna spread her arms and caught them. She said:
Leave running! We continue the lesson in the fresh air!
The clowns obeyed and did not run anywhere.
Now we will take pieces of chalk, - said the teacher, - and all as one, in a single formation, we will draw and disassemble this frightening phrase: "He will bite him."
Shura immediately drew Polkan gnawing on comrade Tarakanov.
Comrade Pomidorov drew Comrade Tarakanov gnawing Comrade Polkan.
And Natasha, as soon as she saw the asphalt and chalk, began to draw classes and jump.
That is, the classes went on as usual.
Polkan ran on the trail, his head lowered into the ground and his horns thrust forward. Sanya is behind him on a long leash.
Comrade Cockroaches, who locked up their school, was a mischievous person. But he knew the traffic rules well. He crossed the road only where such a sign hung:
But Polkan also behaved wisely. If the red light was on, he would never run forward or thrust under the wheels. I only went to green.
He himself did not violate, and did not give to others. One old woman suddenly rushed forward to cross the road in front of the bus. Polkan grabbed her skirt with his teeth and held her in place. That is, he saved.
The pale chauffeur jumped out of the cab and kissed Polkan.
And Irina Vadimovna and her motorcycle were not lucky. Sanya turned into a side street. She wanted to run after him, but saw a sign:
It means that cars are allowed to move only straight ahead. It turns out that thoughts and orders can be conveyed not only by words, but also by signs.
Irina Vadimovna drove “only straight ahead” and lost sight of the nimble Sanya and his faithful horned friend ...
Comrade Tarakanov's trail led Polkan and Sanya to the metro.
The attendant argued for a long time. She brought Sanya instructions. And she said:
You see: "Entry to the subway with cats and dogs is prohibited."
Sanya pushed the instructions aside:
Dogs and cats are prohibited. And it is not forbidden with service and guard goats!
The woman on duty looked through the instructions hopefully, but there was nothing else. She relented.
She only ordered Polkana to roll her horns. How skiers wrap up sharp ends so as not to scratch passengers. Sanya took off his scarf, wrapped the horns around Polkana and rushed down the escalator.
Vasilisa Potapovna taught classes. Shura and Natasha played classes. Comrade Pomidorov was disciplined.
Everything we say, the teacher asserted, we say in words.
No, Natasha objected. - We speak with our mouths.
We speak in words! For example, there is the word "candy".
Candy is not a word. This is the food. Very tasty.
Vasilisa Potapovna began to boil:
We speak in words. Children, call on your imagination to help. And you, Comrade Pomidorov, too.
The disciples concentrated.
Imagine I had candy. We ate it. What's left?
A piece of paper, ”Natasha said quickly.
No, not a piece of paper.
A bag?
Well no. Not a drop of a bag. Here you are, Comrade Pomidorov, tell me what is left?
There was a feeling of deep satisfaction. Feelings of gratitude towards the teaching staff.
What does the feeling of gratitude have to do with it? shouted the teacher. “We ate the candy, but the word“ candy ”remained.
Candy is not a word. This food is on paper, ”Natasha said again.
Guard! - Vasilisa Potapovna said quietly the word "guard".
If there were sweets, - said Pomidorov, - we would figure it out.
Natasha took Shura aside:
Try, strain. Study guides are urgently needed. Best of all is the Golden Key. And not less than a kilogram.
Shura nodded and immediately began to hum and crack. Then he put his hat on the ground.
Now the oil will hit! - said Pomidorov.
But the oil didn't hit. When the cap was lifted, a beautiful golden key lay under it. Not less than a kilogram.
Who needs it! - Vasilisa Potapovna was indignant. - We need candy.
And we also need the key, - said the household Pomidorov. - We can now open the lock.
And for sure: they inserted the key, the lock opened.
Hooray! - shouted the clowns.
Candy is such a thing in a piece of paper, - said Vasilisa Potapovna. - And what is “hurray!”? Is it such a little thing in a box?
The clowns looked around:
No hurray.
True, there is no such item. And there is such a word. There is also the word "please". And there is no such thing. Because words and objects are completely different things. It happens that two things are called with one word. Let's say there is a word "hat". This word is the name of both the headdress and the muddler.
Exactly, - agreed Natasha. - It so happens that there is one word, but several objects. For example, there is only one train at the station, and there are ten wagons.
The carriages have nothing to do with it. Wrong example.
And at work we have such a subject - the boss. The same subject can be called by the second word - "leader", - said Pomidorov.
And I am such a subject! - Shura was surprised at himself. - I can also be called in different words. I am a "clown" and a "citizen" and a "student".
She finished her studies and sent the clowns to the cafeteria.
I ask no one to be late tomorrow!
Her heart was restless.
Where did my motorcycle manual go? And where is this my favorite "clown", "hunter" and "citizen" with his four-legged animal world?
The four-legged animal world is Polkan.
You see, there is one subject, but there are three words.
ANNEXES for the third day of class
A story to retell
A NEW FRIEND IS BETTER THAN OLD TWO
Until recently, in the newspaper "Modern Woodcutter" we described a case in a dog kennel. As a service dog she raised a kid.
And yesterday in the metro, dozens of passengers could happily watch the continuation of the story.
A well-built youth entered the carriage, leading a beautiful, proud animal on a leash. It was another service goat.
Polkasha, - said the young man, - to the leg!
And the goat silently complied with the order.
The young schoolboy Vitya Merezhko, who was in this car, was so shocked by what he saw that he got up and gave the animal a seat.
Questions rained down from all sides:
Does she know the commands?
Does she give milk?
Should she be vaccinated against rabies?
And how many times a day should she be taken out for a walk?
And the young man answered all the questions positively.
A foreigner entered the carriage. Maybe not a foreigner, but his hat was from a foreign power. And from straw.
Polkasha was so agitated that she got up and immediately took a bite of her hat. The young man was also agitated, shy, and they left the carriage with the goat. Only hooves clattered across the marble floor. It seems that it was the Kievskaya station.
I think our readers will be pleased with such a quick introduction of service goats into life. And the relevant executives will support the valuable undertaking of young people by opening the Service Goat Breeding Club in Moscow.
Because this new friend of humanity can not only detain a criminal, go hunting, but also give milk, and in extreme cases, meat.
Correspondent Zhuvachkin
Appendix two. ASSIGNMENT FOR THE RULES OF TRAFFIC IN THE CITY
This, guys, is the street - Kutuzovsky Prospect. Somewhere here is the Main Directorate of supply managers. It's across the street. And on this one stands an agricultural citizen, Uncle Vitya Chizhikov.
You see, next to him is the goat Masha, the wolf and the sack of cabbage. The goat is simple, not a service one. And the wolf is semi-predatory.
The fact is that Uncle Vitya lived in a suburban area. In a house with a vegetable garden. Cabbage grew behind the hedge, and a goat walked along the hedge.
The area began to expand. And on the site of the uncle's house they decided to build a powerful horizontal skyscraper.
Uncle Vita was offered a good apartment. But he doesn't want to. Because I'm used to living on land with a wolf and a cabbage. He loves to work in the garden and breathe air.
Uncle Chizhikov came to the Directorate to ask them not to give him an apartment, and to move his house out of town with a crane. Or they could be installed on the roof of a city building. And poured a vegetable garden on the roof.
To get into the Office, he needs to cross the street. He cannot take everything at once: the wolf, and the cabbage, and the goat. He has only two hands. And one is already taken. It contains a briefcase with statements and a gift. (There is a rooster sitting there.)
If he takes the wolf, the goat will eat the cabbage. If he takes the cabbage, the wolf will eat the goat.
How should he be? To go over correctly. And so that no one ate anyone.
Third appendix. END OF STORY ABOUT POLKAN AND COMRADE TARAKANOV
At the Kievskaya station, Polkan pulled Sanya out of the car and rushed along the trail to the escalator. He ran out, pounding his hooves, into the street and led the owner to the building of the Office of the supply managers.
Irina Vadimovna was standing there at the gate.
Hello! - she said. - That's right, the comrade of all cockroaches works here.
She turned to the watchman:
Let us in. We are visiting Comrade Tarakanov.
What for?
We brought him milk, - said Sanya.
Where is it? Let me tell you, - the watchman looked at the whole trio with an attentive look.
It is in Polkan, - said Sanya. - That is, in a goat. Pass it along with Polkan. And together with me.
Something today everyone is coming to us with goats! - the watchman was surprised. - And I'll see if your milk has a pass. Prepare documents.
Polkan and Sanya had no documents. Irina Vadimovna's too. Of course, the porter could have let them pass. But he was the nephew of Comrade Tarakanov. And he didn't want his uncle to be bothered in vain.
Well, them with their milk! Uncle's peace of mind is more important. And then they still gore him.
FOURTH DAY OF CLASS
Everyone came on time. And Irina Vadimovna immediately asked:
Well, what did you understand without me?
Everything! - shouted the clowns. - That we are talking in sentences. That sentences are made up of words. That things are called words.
Excellent. - Irina Vadimovna took a bird out of her purse. - Who is it?
Sparrow! - Sanya understood.
Right. I took it away from the cat. We will release it now.
The sparrow rushed through the window.
You see, he flew away, and the word "sparrow" remained with us.
Dear children and comrade Pomidorov, - Vasilisa Potapovna intervened, - give similar examples.
Please, - said Pomidorov. - Citizen Petrov flew away on a business trip, but the word "citizen" remained.
Natasha immediately turned on:
His wife, citizen Petrova, flew away on a business trip, but the word "citizen" remained.
And Sanya shouted too:
Their dog Tuzik flew away on a business trip, but the word "dog" remained.
And Shura was silent.
Why are you silent, Shura, - said the headmistress, - think of something.
And what is there to invent? All have already flown away.
Suddenly the postman appeared. With a letter.
Oh, how fun you have here! What are you doing here?
We are going through the difference between objects and words! Natasha explained to him. - Do you know this difference?
Who doesn't know her? At our post office everyone knows. I can even sing you a song about it ... Look how many musical instruments you have.
And the teachers sat down at the instruments, and the representative of the post sang:
SONG ABOUT OBJECTS AND WORDS
Let's say I'm carrying a package
For Dr. Petrov.
Package is an item
And in it - hello.
“Hello” is such a word.
Children must remember
And know how twice or two
What is in this world
Objects and words.
Thank you, says Petrov.
Thank you is the word.
I'm ready for this word
Kiss Petrov.
Children must remember
And know how twice or two.
What is in this world
Objects and words.
Here with a bag full of newspapers
I walk into the distance again.
And the bag is my item.
And "distance" is such a word.
Children must remember
And know how twice or two
What is in this world
Objects and words.
After this song, for some reason, Comrade Pomidorov became thoughtful and sad.
Is there anything you don't understand? - asked Irina Vadimovna.
How could a package come to Comrade Petrov if Comrade Petrov had just left on a business trip?
Indeed, the headmistress agreed. - But I think it was another Petrov - his brother.
The postman left. Irina Vadimovna has a letter in her hands. It was like this:
The national economy of our region needs competent supply managers. A large room is needed to improve their learning.
Therefore: STAYING IN SCHOOL DO NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO LEAVE THE ROOM.
Comrade Cockroaches
Head of the Department of supply managers
In this paper, - said the headmistress, - there is one mistake. Which one?
There is no seal in it, - said Comrade Pomidorov. - Therefore it is invalid.
It is very good that it is not valid. But that is not the mistake. After all, the order can be understood in different ways. You can do this: “Stay in school! I do not allow anyone to leave the premises. " Or you can: “I don’t allow anyone to stay at school. Leave the premises. " It all depends on how you read it. Between which words to stop. On paper, this stop is indicated by a dot. Or a comma.
We will make a stop so as not to leave anything! cried Natasha.
The most important thing is that they do not capture us at night, ”said Pomidorov. - There have been such cases. And even then they will never be evicted.
Thank you, comrade Pomidorov. We'll take care of that.
When the clowns left for dinner, she called Uncle Shakir:
Our school wants to be taken over by enemies.
Foreign military?
No, the caretakers. You will have to hold the defense tonight. We'll give you a gun. And cartridges. Load the cartridges with salt.
In no case! - Vasilisa Potapovna sternly intervened. - What are you? Shooting people with salt is so cruel. Better with granulated sugar. This is already kind.
ANNEXES for the fourth day of class
Appendix one. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW YOUR ADDRESS
Here is the envelope of the letter sent by Comrade Tarakanov. The address is written on it: “Moscow, street named after the grandmother of the cosmonaut Anton Semyonov. School of clowns ".
Every person, or a factory, or a kindergarten has an address.
At this address, a person is brought letters, newspapers, gifts. And sometimes the person himself, if he is small and lost.
You must remember your address by heart. Do you know your address well? This book was published by the Kometa publishing house. The publisher's address is the following: 191002, St. Petersburg, Zagorodny, 10. If you liked the book, write to us about it. Moreover, the book should teach you how to write. And we will immediately understand how you learned. And if there are no letters from you, then you have not been able to get this edition.
Appendix two. THE CASE WITH UNCLE SHAKIR IN A DARK NIGHT
Uncle Shakir stood with a gun at the post at the door of the school. Stood. Stood. I'm tired. Then he brought a chair to the post. And he was already at the post. With a gun on my shoulder. I sat there. I sat there. I sat there. I'm tired.
Then he brought a folding bed to the post. And I decided to lie down for a while at the post. With a gun on my shoulder. He decided to fight sleep. Struggled. Struggled. Struggled. Struggled. Struggled. I thought about the brooms. Asleep.
And the enemy does not sleep. Some people appeared. They took up the folding bed ... They wanted to carry the sleepy Uncle Shakir to the city square. Stuff into the midnight trolleybus. So that he went there, I don't know where. Where does that go, I don't know what, and asks: "Your ticket?"
And Uncle Shakir didn't have a ticket, but a gun. And he is a hot man: and it is not known how it would have ended ... But ...
But then Polkan intervened. He firmly remembered the order of his master Sanya: "Let everyone in and not let anyone out."
Polkan growled:
Be-e-e-e!
And rushed to the scavengers. They flew in different directions. And they left Uncle Shakir.
Uncle Shakir shouted:
Guard! Mine is yours!
He snatched the gun from under the blanket and banged the sugar wherever they looked ...
Third appendix. Who woke up at night and jumped out into the courtyard
At night, when the shot went off, one of the clowns woke up. He put on his shoes, a jacket, a hat and rushed out into the yard.
Here is the hanger. Guess who jumped out of the house at night.
FIFTH DAY OF CLASS
The next day, Uncle Shakir said:
I am at the post. I hold my weapon. I look with one eye. Pull out ...
What are you getting out of? - shouted the clowns.
“… Suddenly some dark force appeared. And shoved me into bed.
Everyone began to ask where this dark force came from. And Natasha asked:
Where did the bed come from?
I don't know, - answered Uncle Shakir. - I think I brought it myself. I was kind of dazed.
And he told everything in detail.
... He, as if hypnotized, lay in bed and aimed in different directions. He was very brave. Yet an evil force enveloped him and put him to sleep. He passed out.
Then beneath him like a mine exploded. He was thrown aside along with the cot. And from above or below Polkan fell on him.
Uncle Shakir woke up - there were enemies all around. He and let's shoot. What was the strength.
Then the clown Sanya picked up his heroic story:
I hear they shoot at night. I thought - the hunt was opened. I leaned out - I looked, Uncle Shakir was firing from a gun. Polkan shouts. Some people are hiding in the distance. One is thick, the other is tall, the third is green. Then everything was quiet. I went back and stuck in.
These are our people, - said Pomidorov. - Supply managers. Dynin, Grushin and Tarakanov himself. I recognized them immediately. In height, thickness and greenness.
Why didn't you, Sanya, chase after them? Natasha asked.
I put on someone's shoes in the dark. High heels. You can't run into them.
Irina Vadimovna thanked Uncle Shakir for his faithful service. And she allowed him to rest for two days.
Uncle Shakir decided to renovate the school fence during these two days of rest. All sorts of sandbox swing. And in general, to work properly.
Who will be on duty at the facility today? - asked Comrade Pomidorov.
Today I will be on duty! - said Vasilisa Potapovna. - They won't.
Irina Vadimovna told her: “Thank you” and offered to teach the classes. And she jumped into her motorcycle. And before she had time to get into the saddle, the faithful motorcycle carried her out into the street. She decided to go to the ministry and find out who and why wanted to drag Uncle Shakir away.
The Minister for Education and Entertainment greeted her with joy:
How are you? Has Uncle Shakir's beard grown already?
Not yet. And we have no time for a beard. Uncle Shakir himself was almost stolen.
I do not know who.
She spoke about the latest events. About letters and attacks.
Today they are dragging Uncle Shakira. Vasilisa Potapovna is being carried out tomorrow. And the day after tomorrow - the students. So we will be left without people.
The minister said:
This room was given to us temporarily. Previously, it belonged to the supply managers. Brooms, brooms and calculating machines were kept there. The caretakers became cramped. Therefore, comrade Tarakanov and his comrades are trying to survive you.
I'm afraid they'll overdo it ...
That's right, this Tarakanov is a great enthusiast. He is very energetic. You have to hold out. A new building will be built for them soon.
Let's hold on.
Irina Vadimovna started the motorcycle. Then the minister called out to her from the window:
Here is a present for Uncle Shakir. Wig beard. Now it is fashionable ... Among the intelligentsia.
Vasilisa Potapovna taught the lesson:
You already understood that fairy tales, stories ...
-… reports consist of proposals. And sentences are made up of words.
Aunt Thekla entered the classroom with a can.
What offer do you have? - asked the teacher.
I have an offer for everyone to drink fish oil. Children, eat fish oil.
This is a very good proposal. How many words does it consist of?
Out of three, - said Natasha - From CHILDREN, from EAT and from FISH FAT.
Where is she wrong? - asked Vasilisa Potapovna.
The fact that we are not children, - said Pomidorov.
The fact that fish oil should not be eaten, but drunk, - said Shura.
No. The mistake is that FISH FAT is two words. One word FISH. The second is FAT.
The door flew open and a skinny citizen with a beard entered. He shouted:
How many words are there in the sentence BEARDED UNCLE?
And he himself answered:
Of the two. From UNCLE and BEARD.
The citizen took off his beard, and everyone saw the thin Irina Vadimovna.
She taught the lesson.
Now I will give you the words SPORTSMAN, CART, READS, LUCKS, HORSE, NEWSPAPER. And you make a few sentences out of them.
Comrade Pomidorov was the first to figure it out. He stood up as in a meeting and said:
I ask you to speak.
You are welcome.
ATHLETE READS THE NEWSPAPER, HORSE DRIVES THE CART.
Excellent.
And you can do that! cried Natasha. - THE HORSE READS THE NEWSPAPER. THE ATHLETE DRIVES THE CART.
In our management department the CART is called an abusive letter, - explained Pomidorov. - Therefore, you can also say so: AN ATHLETE READS THE CART.
Here Pomidorov's imagination raged, and he shouted:
SPORTSMAN READS HORSE!
What? - Irina Vadimovna supported. - Imagine - a live newspaper. Heading EVENING HORSE. On the sides are photos and articles.
I would definitely register such a horse, - said Sanya. - It's very convenient in the countryside. The postman arrived on it, we read it, and she went to a neighboring village.
But so far, "The Evening Horse" has not yet been released. And the sentence SPORTSMAN READS HORSE is wrong. We took a word from one sentence and put it into another. And the sentence must have order.
There should be order not only in the proposal, ”Pomidorov said solidly,“ but everywhere. By transport. At work.
I'll sing you a song about announcements now, ”said Irina Vadimovna. - It talks about word order in a sentence.
Vasilisa Potapovna sat down at the piano. And Irina Vadimovna began to sing.
SONG ABOUT ANNOUNCEMENTS
Known announcements
We need it in order
So that the population knows
Reading the ads:
What? Where? When? And why?
What for? And for whom?
“The kindergarten needs a laundress.
Call the kindergarten. "
"Lost dog
Nicknamed Marmalade. "
"Summer cottage for rent
With a goat and a garage. "
“There will be a lecture in the theater
About life abroad ”.
“We need a cart with a horse
And the movers to the warehouse. "
“Living space is changing:
Moscow to Leningrad ".
"The teacher teaches singing
And drawing. "
And "Nanny Wanted
To a good family. "
Typesetter in typography
Suddenly I dropped the set ...
Mixed up in ads
Words and sentences
And in these WHERE? WHEN? WHAT FOR?
There was a fuss.
"The kindergarten needs a laundress
With the cart to the warehouse. "
“The teacher is changing:
Moscow to Leningrad ".
"Summer cottage for rent
And a loader with a garage. "
“There will be a lecture in the theater
"Goat Abroad" ".
"The dog teaches singing
And drawing. "
And "It takes a horse
To a good family. "
The population laughed,
Reading ads.
And who did not know how to laugh,
I was at a loss.
The clowns laughed. And comrade Pomidorov was perplexed:
He must have been reprimanded.
To the typesetter. To no longer be confused.
That's right, - agreed Irina Vadimovna. - I think they also deprived of the prize. And they removed it from the Honor Board if it hung there.
We don't have such people! - said Pomidorov. - We have decent ones.
The bell rang. Classes are over.
ANNEXES for the fifth day of class
Appendix one. Mysterious Drawing on Reasonableness
Guys, this is a commission. She inspects the school: is everything in order here, are they offending the students, are they sleeping properly?
Aunt Thekla treats everyone to tea. Try to find out who is Comrade Tarakanov here?
Appendix two. SENIOR PREFERENCE CARRYING NIGHT WATCH
Narrative for retelling
In our age, when everyone is nervous, it is stupid not to sleep all night! - decided Vasilisa Potapovna. - I'll go to bed. Let my technical idea stay awake.
She brought a cot and a blanket. Then I found a small iron barrel and set it on the very edge of the roof. Just above the porch. She tied a line to the barrel. She stretched the other end of the line to the gate.
Now, if any swindler or a caretaker starts to open the gate, there will be such a crash! .. He will raise not only Vasilisa Potapovna to her feet, but the entire police of the city. Just pull the gate towards you.
The teacher went to bed. The stars were laughing in the sky. She lay and recalled her tent-wagon youth.
And on the roof of the school lived a curious crow. One that pokes everywhere. She took it and went downstairs to see - what had they made here without her? Sat on a string ...
How the barrel will fly off! How it rumbles! How Vasilisa Potapovna will jump out of the cot! How he will scream! How frightened a crow - and faint!
The heroic teacher understood what was the matter. She put the barrel back in. And she began to do artificial respiration to the crow. Somehow she pumped out the crow and went to bed.
Then a police patrol flew in. Find out what happened here? Who rumbles barrels with you at night? Does the police scare you?
Only the policeman pulled the gate to enter the courtyard, the line would stretch! The barrel will collapse! And let's rumble!
The policeman jumped on a barrel and calmed down with sambo techniques. At the same time, the noise was such that the motorcycle almost ran away.
Vasilisa Potapovna jumped out of the folding bed again. He sees - everything is in order, there are police everywhere ...
They put the barrel back in place with the patrol. Order ... The teacher went to bed. And the patrol went to the motorcycle. He would push like a wicket to get out, the line would stretch. How to pull the barrel!
How the barrel will fly off, and the policeman's knees! How he would throw himself at her! How will it give!
Vasilisa Potapovna did not rest very much that night. But because of this noise, the caretakers did not come close.
SIXTH DAY OF CLASS
In the morning the headmistress was the first to come to school. She pulled the gate open. And the barrel banged again.
Vasilisa Potapovna did not even wake up. So she was tortured at night.
But then Polkan got mad. He pounced on a barrel with horns. And let's butt. She tired him for the night worse than a bitter radish. Polkan drove the barrel around the yard, broke through the fence and jumped out into the street.
A construction worker walked behind the fence. He had a crowbar in one hand and a shovel in the other. He was fat and suspicious. (In fact, it was a disguised manager Dynin. From the fire brigade. His comrade Tarakanov sent to spy on the clowns.)
Disguised Dynin sees that a barrel is being rolled on him. I barely managed to jump onto it. And in order not to fall, he began to touch his legs. So he went on a barrel.
The picture turned out to be funny. Polkan pushes a barrel down the street. It rolls with a crash. And on the barrel the manager Dynin runs with a shovel and a crowbar. He runs in one direction and goes the other. So he drove up to the main caretaker's house. I drove onto the very porch. To the watchman-nephew.
Then Polkan calmed down and ran home. And Dynin went to report everything to Comrade Tarakanov.
So, they say, and so. Getting into school is difficult. The object is guarded. People, and barrels, and the police, and service goats. But they have a violation. Water is pouring on the territory. The pipe must have burst.
We will fine, - said comrade Tarakanov. And he ordered to continue the observation.
And at school there were classes. Irina Vadimovna explained to the clowns:
You have learned that our speech consists of sentences. That sentences can be divided into words. But words can also be divided. Into parts!
There are as many parts in a word as we open our mouths. For example, I say MA-MA. I opened my mouth twice. This means that the word MAMA has two parts.
And the word ZAVKHOZ has two parts! - happily made the discovery of Tomatoes. - ZAV and HOZ. ZAV is the manager. HOZ is an economy.
And I understood everything! cried Natasha. - The word CHAIR consists of five parts. Because it has four legs and a back.
Then the uncertain Shura intervened:
They completely confused me. In your opinion, Irina Vadimovna, the word CHAIR consists of one part. We open our mouth once. And they say - from many parts. From the seats and legs ... Then it turns out that the word FORTY consists of forty parts. She has forty legs.
No, - Irina Vadimovna reassured him. - The word FIFTY has five parts. CENTIPEDE. It's very easy to count.
Absolutely impossible! - said Natasha.
That's right, - agreed Irina Vadimovna. - Chur, my mistake. A break is announced for two hours.
She called the sleepy Vasilisa Potapovna. They started a teacher's council. And the clowns at this time walked around the site near the school and shouted.
GUY-KA - two parts.
MAY-KA - two parts.
BA-LA-LAI-KA - many parts.
One comrade Pomidorov shouted differently. After all, he knew how to count.
He shouted like this:
One, two - VET-KA.
Three, four - CELL-KA.
Five, six, seven, eight - TA-BU-RET-KA.
Then the clowns took their musical instruments, lined up as if for a demonstration, began to walk around the school and divide everything into parts. What caught my eye.
One, two - GAL-KA,
Three, four - PAL-KA.
Five, six, seven, eight - PO-LEE-BAL-KA.
One, two - PI-VO.
Three, four - IN-DY,
Five, six, seven, eight - PE-SHE-HO-DY.
A lot of work was going on in the annex building of the school, in the kitchen. Vasilisa Potapovna and aunt Fekla Parkinen, under the guidance of Irina Vadimovna, prepared a pie for the clowns.
They were kneading the dough. They chopped up the cabbage into a thousand pieces. They wanted to teach clowns to count with the help of the pie. Finally the cake is ready. Irina Vadimovna brought Polkan to class. I painted his horns with red paint. She combed her hair. He became like an old writer. Then the clowns were called.
Irina Vadimovna said:
Today Polkan has a holiday. World Cabbage Day. He has a pie. This pie should be divided among all. How many guests are here?
Natasha began to bend her fingers:
Shura, Sanechka, Natasha, Pomidorov and Polkasha.
How much did it turn out?
Natasha showed her fingers:
That's how much.
Yeah, five, - said Irina Vadimovna. - Now invite Uncle Shakir to the table.
Sanya immediately ran after the watchman. Uncle Shakir came all smart. In a fashionable wig beard. And, embarrassed, sat down at the table.
Now how many are you? - asked the headmistress.
Six, - answered Pomidorov.
Excellent. There are six of you at the table ... that is, animals ... That is, five and one. And only six ...
“… Pie eaters,” put in nimble Natasha.
Right. Six guests. And you have to divide the pie between them. How to do it?
Very simple! cried Natasha. - Let's take turns biting him.
It won't work, - said Sanya. - My Polkan will bite like a bite, no one else will have to bite. What teeth he has!
Let him bite the last one, ”Shura suggested.
Then it may turn out that he will not get anything at all! - objected Sanya. - Comrade Pomidorov also bites well. And the holiday is in honor of Polkan.
I can do without your pie! - Pomidorov was offended.
Irina Vadimovna intervened:
Oh well. Here everyone is ours. You can bite the pie straight off the plate. It's even convenient - you don't need to wash the dishes. And if you go to visit the Queen of England? Will you also take turns biting the pies? And Polkan will take part?
The clowns fell silent.
Isn't it easier to split the pie into pieces? - suggested Vasilisa Potapovna.
Hooray! cried Natasha. - Divide it in half like this. And like that in half. It turned out to be a lot of pieces. Let everyone take it now.
She took the piece herself. Sanya took a piece. Shura took it. And Comrade Pomidorov took it. And that's all. There are no more pieces left. Uncle Shakir and Polkan were left uncovered by the pie.
Haven't you eaten your morsels yet? - asked the headmistress.
Then put it back. Think again.
We will cut them again, - suggested Sanya. - Each piece in half. There will be a lot of them. Enough for everyone.
And so they did. And everyone again took a piece. Sanya took it, Natasha took it, Tomodorov took it, Shura took it. Uncle Shakir took it. And they gave Polkan. And two more extra pieces left.
Well? - asked Irina Vadimovna. - I see there is a remnant. Not completely divided. Will you put everything on the plate again and cut it again?
Polkan has nothing to put in, - said Natasha. - He already ate his piece.
Vasilisa Potapovna could not stand it.
If you endlessly lay and cut, you will make cabbage pie out of cabbage pie. We must learn to count. There is no other way out.
Yes, - objected the shy Shura. - You and Aunt Thekla take these pieces for yourself. And you will also be guests.
No! No! - shouted Aunt Thekla in a tragic voice like on stage. She was very shy. - I'm full, full, children.
Can I take a piece? - asked the headmistress.
Sure! - shouted the clowns.
Thank God! The cake split. And you could no longer think about mathematics.
Everyone ate pie and drank tea with pleasure.
This is where the pie ... that is, the lesson is over.
It was a very tasty lesson. That is the pie.
Sanya went to see Irina Vadimovna off to the motorcycle.
Irina Vadimovna, - he said. - The nights are getting chilly. Polkan may catch a cold. He starts sneezing, you can't stop him.
What do you suggest? Buy him a fur coat?
It is necessary to transfer him to the premises. Under my bed.
We'll build him a nice one-room booth, ”the headmistress said. - In the meantime, let him sleep under the porch.
It was a great way out - to arrange Polkan at the entrance to the school.
Sanya asked Shakir for a saw and sawed a hole in the porch. Not on the steps, of course, but on the side. Polkan got his own house. True, sometimes different feet stomped over his head. And garbage poured in. But Polkan was not a sissy.
ANNEXES for the sixth day of class
Appendix one. NIGHT WATCH OF SHURA AND NATASHA
Narrative for retelling
Shura and Natasha stood at the post and talked. And they divided into parts everything that caught their eye.
Oh, SUN-TCE! - Natasha said.
Oh, SE-LO! - picked up Shura.
Oh, FO-NAR! - Natasha said.
Oh, by-gus! - Shura supported.
And then it got completely dark, and the stars came out. Shura immediately noted this:
Oops STARS! Oh, HIGH-LEE!
Oh, SCARY-BUT! Oh, STA-LO! - said Natasha.
And suddenly, under the porch, someone turned and sighed.
Oh, Shurochka! Make it so that we have sabers in our hands.
Shura became thoughtful and hummed. Time! And they had a rake in their hands.
What have you done? Natasha asked in a whisper. - Are we going to stir up hay?
It was still dark at this time. The key rumbled more audibly, and a fog went from it. And under the porch someone was puffing. It became quite scary.
Oh, Shurochka, ”Natasha said quietly. - Make it so that we have spikes in our hands. So that we become like knights in helmets.
Shura hummed again. They had fire helmets on their heads, and hooks appeared in their hands.
Are you completely spoiled? Natasha asked. - Do we really want to put out fires?
Still, it's more fun with a hook! - said Shura.
Then Natasha will hit the porch with the hook. And from there, as if from a barrel:
Meeeee-eeeee-ee!
Either there are spies there, or the caretakers ... In general, the evil spirits are not ours.
Guard! - Natasha declared.
Oh, mom! - said Shura.
And something worked for him. Because a strict aunt in curlers appeared on the porch. With broom and scoop. It was Shurina's mother from the city of Kasimov. She, apparently, was sweeping the floor at her home in her beloved city, and Shura called her from there.
Mom waved the broom a few more times, and then looked up.
Oh, Shura has arrived!
They started hugging! But mom hugs and everyone looks around.
Oh, what is this ?! This is Moscow!
She realized that the unknown Shurin's force had pulled her out of the house and dragged her to the capital of our Motherland. That she, like a serf peasant woman, without an evening dress, without high-heeled shoes, and even in curlers!
It's just AWESOME! (There is one part in this word guys.)
It's just U-ZHAS! (There are two parts in this word.)
Send me home, BE-ZO-BRAZ-NIK! (And there are a lot of parts in this word guys.)
She slightly cracked her son with a broom. Although Shura was clean, dust-free, and did not need to be swept.
Shura hummed to send his mother to Kasimov. Bam-bam! Mom stayed where she was, and a dog named Bobik from the same city appeared.
Then the grandfather in the chair.
Then the TV in front of grandfather.
In short, everything that was in Kasimov's mother's room appeared. And it became completely unclear who came to whom.
Either mom and grandfather went to Moscow, or Shura and Natasha went to Kasimov.
Suddenly my mother noticed Natasha.
Who is this lady with a stick? And why is a samovar on your head? You shame us!
Ugh! Finished my studies! - spat grandfather.
Now I’m not going anywhere until I figure it out! Mom raged.
And I won't leave! - shouted grandfather. - I'll go to the Tretyakov Gallery!
But for some reason the TV disappeared. Yes, and the grandfather himself was diluted.
And mom's broom disappeared.
Don't think about sending me back! Mom ordered.
I want to detain you!
Shura hummed with all his might. But as luck would have it, everything disappeared. And the dog, and the grandfather, and, finally, the mother herself.
But she managed to hit Shura on the head with a disappearing scoop. If it weren't for the helmet, Shura would have had a great bump. And she wouldn't disappear as quickly as Mom.
A ringing came from the helmet, and Polkan jumped out from under the porch at the noise. Service and sentry. Then Shura and Natasha realized who was sighing and puffing down there. And all their fears were gone.
Appendix two. SECRET CONSUMER MEETING
Picture story
You guys see a secret meeting of the supply managers. Clock at the top. They show 12 o'clock at night.
Tarakanov himself is in the high chair. He says:
Ugliness! For more than a month now, our crowbars and brooms have been lying in the yard under a tarp. And the room is empty ... That is, it is occupied, but not by us ... In general, it disappears. Can't we, the caretakers, the pride of the region, cope with the clowns? Moreover, they have introduced our man there - Pomidorov.
He is no longer ours, ”said the thickened Dynin. - He already has them!
Then the manager of the farm Grushin intervened:
I have a plan. Give us three days, three fire trucks and three electric welding masks.
Good! - said Tarakanov. - Write me a statement in triplicate.
At this time the clock began to strike.
Question: If three caretakers write one statement in triplicate, how many sheets of paper will be wasted?
Third appendix. VERY SHORT
That night Aunt Thekla stroked Vaska's kitten, sitting on the porch, and looked at the star.
And I feel sorry for him, this Tarakanov. He has such a nasty surname. He suffered with her all his life. My poor Cockroaches!
SEVENTH DAY OF CLASS
Finally morning came. Clowns came to class. And Irina Vadimovna came, or rather flew in on her motorcycle.
Today we will have a lesson in nature, ”she announced. - At the Moscow Zoo.
There is more nature there! - agreed Pomidorov.
The clowns happily went to visit striped tigers, black swans and white ice cream vendors.
Vasilisa Potapovna remained near the school. She walked in circles around the shiny motorcycle.
"Of course, it is not pedagogical when the teaching staff drives such rattlesnakes!" - she thought, making the first circle.
"But there is something in this!" - she thought, making the second.
"And who in our time can live without a motorcycle?" - she decided, making the third.
Sitting more comfortably, she tightened her grip on the arms. She wanted to look at herself.
“I’m probably very beautiful!” she thought.
Uncle Shakir! Do you have the largest mirror? - Vasilisa Potapovna asked Uncle Shakir.
Will now be!
He went to the clown's outhouse and took the mirror from the hanger. The mirror lay on his back and looked up. And the blue sky was reflected in it. And Aunt Thekla Parkinen looked from the kitchen into the courtyard.
Oh, they carry the sky! - she said.
Then Vasilisa Potapovna pressed some kind of pedal. The motorcycle growled under her and lunged forward.
Stop! - shouted Vasilisa Potapovna.
Whoa! - shouted Uncle Shakir with a mirror.
Only the motorcycle was not listening. It exploded with a roar and flew with the teacher out of the school gates.
On the way, Irina Vadimovna said to the clowns:
Words, as you remember, are divided into parts. MAMA. DAD. And the parts can also be divided. The sounds.
What are sounds? Natasha asked.
This is all we hear with our ears. When we close our eyes.
The clowns did everything immediately. They immediately closed their eyes. And they heard just a terrible sound: OUUUU-AAAA-RRRRR! Because the motorcycle Vasilisa Potapovna flew by.
The clowns got scared and ran scatteringly with their eyes closed. We jumped out onto the roadway.
A trolleybus was driving right at them. He buzzes like:
Everything on the street got mixed up. Clowns, like chickens, ran in front of cars. Cars hummed and flew after the clowns. It's good that the policeman will whistle like:
And how he will raise his wand. All movement has stopped.
Irina Vadimovna began to pull out clowns from different places. Clown Sanya from the taiga ended up on a tree. Shura and Natasha dragged each other from under the nose of the trolleybus. One Pomidorov proudly and calmly ran in front of the trolleybus.
Now I know what sound is, ”Natasha said. - This is when Shura cracked you on one side, and a cyclist swooped down on the other. I can't see anything, but my ears ring.
It's not like that, - said Irina Vadimovna. - Tell me, how is it ringing in your ears?
3-3-3-3! As if a fly had climbed there.
How did the trolleybus hum?
Oooooooooo! Comrade Pomidorov barely ran away from him.
How did the policeman whistle?
TRRRRRRRR!
This is 33333-333, UUUUUU and TRRRR are sounds.
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A story to retell
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Narrative for retelling
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What for?
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Narrative for retelling
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Narrative for retelling
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{!LANG-fec6b5c672014e9f57ca74e195d707a3!}
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{!LANG-6db7f7e44a5b8d40626fb377c3f0f168!}
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Correspondent Zhuvachkin
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