Who am I: the master of my own thoughts and actions, or a helpless puppet? Any adult in his right mind will surely say the first thing about himself and ... will be wrong. “We make a huge number of decisions influenced by things we might not even know about,” Jay Olson of McGill University in Canada told the BBC.
He recently conducted an experiment that proved how easy it is to manipulate people: unbeknownst to himself, 103 out of 105 participants succumbed to him! Impressive, right?
In his psychological experience, Olson used one of the classic tricks that he had been fond of since childhood: “guessing” a card chosen by a person from a deck. Not a single subject, of course, suspected that it was not he, but the "magician" who pre-selected the card, imperceptibly forcing the person to think of it. How? There are different ways and the easiest one is to linger a little on it, shuffling the deck.
92% of the participants then stated that they were convinced that they made the choice themselves. One of them even said that he mentally chose a card even before the experiment began - nevertheless, Olson “guessed it” too!
Still don't believe it? Take restaurant diners: They rarely choose dishes from the middle, more often from the top or bottom of the list, because these areas of the menu are primarily eye-catching. But if you ask, "Why did you order the trout?" - the person will answer that he wanted exactly the trout.
Another example: choosing a wine in a store. As a group of scientists from the University of Leicester found out, if you turn on German music in the background, most buyers will choose something from German wines, but French melodies will send them straight to French wines.
Finally, a simple gesture - when you pass a hot drink to another - can involuntarily evoke sympathy for you as a "warm" person. Conversely, it happens that an unpleasant smell makes us, in principle, disgust and judge other people more harshly and irritably.
How can you turn this knowledge to your advantage? Here are 4 signs that will help you recognize dexterous manipulators (or try the method of invisible suggestion yourself, but only for good purposes!).
1) Touch
Its "miraculous" power can hardly be overestimated. One has only to slightly squeeze the shoulder of the interlocutor or pat it on it, looking deeply into the eyes - and that's it, he is yours with giblets. Well, in any case, it will be much easier to inspire him with something. In a series of experiments in 1976, for example, people willingly borrowed money.
2) Speech rate
The same magicians often try to rush the volunteers so that they think less about the solution and probably choose what the manipulator needs, says Jay Olson. And once the job is done, their speech and mannerisms slow down, become more relaxed.
3) Field of view
You already understood about the deck of cards, but there are many other ways to push you towards a choice that does not depend on you. For example, place something at eye level (note: this is what they do in stores) or discreetly push something towards you. For the same reasons, we often take the first thing we are offered.
4) Leading questions
If you do not want to become a slave of someone else's idea, which they are trying to instill in you, pay attention to questions like: "What do you think this idea is good for?", "What do you think, what will be the benefits from this?" There seems to be nothing unusual in them, but see for yourself: these questions, in fact, force a person to convince himself that the idea is good and it needs to be promoted. Often, in the end, a person is so carried away, as if this idea was his from the very beginning.
How to persuade you to do what you need?
Have you sometimes noticed that when you try to influence a person with conviction, he seems to be deliberately trying to do the opposite? This is the most common thing, psychologists say. Most people regard your approach as intrusive and unwittingly try to fight back.
But if you know a few tricks, you can get anything out of a person, says Mark Goulston, an eminent psychiatrist, bestselling author and business consultant for large corporations including IBM and Goldman Sachs.
At one time, he trained FBI agents and police in the most unusual way: he portrayed a suicide, ready to shoot himself in the skull, and they had to persuade him not to do this. But, according to Goulston, no one succeeded, and he invariably "shot".
How was it necessary to act? The scientist gave 5 key tips that work not only in critical situations, but also in everyday communication with colleagues, bosses and family.
1. Let them tell
After you have subtly hinted or directly addressed your request, shut up and let them talk further. So the interlocutors themselves will understand the urgency of your request, and you do not have to convince. If you force them to silently listen to your arguments, they will either turn a deaf ear to everything, or they will decide that you decided to tell them. Naturally, they will not want to do anything for you right away.
2. Mark adjectives and adverbs while they speak.
These parts of speech are important emotional indicators that will help you to open up the other person. Let's say he described your idea as “great” in his reply. Remember this, and when he asks you a question, repeat his word: "Now I will answer, but first I would like to say a few more words about this wonderful project ..."
So the person will understand that you have listened to him, "penetrate" to you and open up more than if you directly answered his question. And the more people open up to you, the more they are drawn into the conversation and the more willingly they listen to you.
3. Evoke positive associations
Believe it or not, any of your actions, words and requests almost always cause the interlocutor to subconsciously attach to moments from the past. It is important that these are positive memories, and not vice versa. When your appeal is associated with something pleasant, the person is more likely to do what you want him to do.
4. Instill in the other person a feeling of comfort and importance.
A person will immediately understand if you listened to him just out of politeness, just to wait for your turn to speak as soon as possible. Bad interlocutors always pull the blanket over themselves and can abruptly interrupt someone else's story in order to insert their own, "more weighty" word.
Here's an example. You share your idea, and in response you hear: "Yes, not bad, but I have already announced my project to the authorities, and they approved it, so let's do it my way." How will you feel after that?
And it is quite another matter if you get such a response: “The idea is great! You came up with great ideas. You can even add another item here ... What do you think? "
5. Focus on the future, not past failures
People don't like criticism. When you remember their past mistakes, they put on armor. So if you want a person to act differently in the future, do not focus on the past. It is better to say that you expect such and such actions from him in the future, and that by doing so, for example, he will greatly help the whole team.
In general, everything is not so difficult, although it requires some commitment from you. But if you want people to do your thing, that's a fair price.
There is help on how to convince a person to do what you need to do - it really works. The main thing is that your desires are pure, light, not harmful to the social and close environment. There are situations when you should decideand opinions were divided. If you want to persuade a person to your path, to achieve what you want, use one of the proposed methods. You will be surprised, but with a little faith, patience and power of thought - you will get what you need.
Psychological techniques in practice
Psychology is a rather subtle science, but it is successfully applied in everyday life. It is not necessary to be a psychology guru and graduate from a university elective, but it is necessary to learn several generally accepted techniques of "manipulation".
Elementary advice:
when defending your interests, do not raise your voice, be benevolent, consistent, and most importantly - name the person whom trying to convince by name each time you put forward another argument. It's simple. Try it, sometimes it's easier than finding the truth in an argument. 
Second tip: give a person good service at a time when he especially needs her. Understand his interests, problems. For example, if a car locksmith friend is looking for a part-time job, and you find out that an hourly employee is required at a neighboring service station, help him with information, recommendations. Shortly thereafter, using the first tip, persuade your friend to do what you needed. Do you think manipulation? Not at all - a reciprocal gesture of gratitude on an unimportant issue.
Third point:
sincerely convey to the person that he and only he can help in getting what you need. Believe me, what you want will come faster than expected.
To win over with conspiracies
If you are not strong in psychological skills, but capable of light magical actions, use the following techniques:
The conspiracy to get what you want should be read on the growing moon, preferably at sunrise, in order to attract the forces of the earth to the speedy execution.
"The sun, warm, bright, is welcoming to people. The moon is growing, new - with a coin, a horseshoe, help me soon, (person's name) convince me that the truth is behind me, and in front, and behind my back. No one will be bad, but good , the servant of God (his name) - will not forget! I so want, so it will be, as people see the moon and the sun! "
Read three days in a row in an open window, and on the fourth, start a conversation of beliefs. You will get what you want very soon, because the moon and the sun will help you.
Another ritual for persuasion with a red apple. Buy without haggling without putting in the ripe red fruit. Cut the houses in half, and put a note inside with the words written by yourself:
"As you matured the apple, so my business would have ripened. Let (name) agree to do what I see. I have to do it, and the apple - for good fertilization!"
Tie the apple crosswise with a red thread and bury it in the ground near the house. It is advisable to perform on a young moon so that everything happens faster.
Here's how to convince a person to do what you need without harming him, for the benefit of yourself - try for the benefit of the whole world and yourself.
Subtle ways of influencing the client, almost NLP, but it was invented before us
What is sales copy? In fact, this is a way to persuade a person to accept your point of view that this product or service is necessary for him - and not just in general, but right here and now.
What is the easiest way to do this?
I propose to rely on a number of built-in psychological mechanisms and understand exactly how you can use the logical chains and patterns of behavior that a person already has to get what you want.
Some of these methods are already widely used, but today we will analyze WHY they work.
- Present
We all love gifts, and many companies like to give gifts to their customers: for example, samples of goods or information products in electronic form. Why are they doing this? Why spend a lot of money just to please someone they don't know?
It's all about the rule of exchange, one of the key in our society. A person, receiving something, feels uncomfortable until he returns the "debt" by making a return gift or providing a favor for a favor.
Remember when your new acquaintance made you a small gift, and then asked for a small favor that had nothing to do with the gift - would you help him?
Scientists conducted the following experiment: They put the test subject in the same room with an unknown examiner, who after a while came out and returned with two bottles of Coca-Cola. “I was allowed to take a drink here, so I took you too,” he said, treating the subject. And after a while, he asked to buy several lottery tickets from him, explaining that he needed to close the month with good sales in order to receive a bonus.
Surprisingly, subjects who were treated to cola bought, on average, twice as many tickets as those who were not. The most interesting thing is that the cost of one lottery ticket was 2.5 times HIGHER than the price of a bottle of cola.
How modern companies use it:
They make gifts to people, and it is important that the person agrees to accept the gift, expresses a desire to receive it, or notifies the senders of its receipt. Then you tip the scales to your side, and then offer the person an easy way to restore balance. People often follow the path of least resistance - which is exactly what you want.
- Little agreement
I am sure you have already heard about the theory of "Three" YES ", when a person is offered two statements that are true for him, with which he easily agrees, in order to further offer a third statement, as if following logically from the previous two.
Of course, concept substitution is often used here.
For example: "Do you care about your child's health?" Naturally, any mother will say yes. "Do you agree that active games improve health and strengthen the child's body?" And again yes. And finally, "Would you like to enroll your child in the football section, where a qualified coach with 10 years of work experience and higher pedagogical and sports education will work with him?"
As you can see, we started our conversation by taking care of the child's health. However, health can be achieved different ways, you don't have to play football for this. And yet we turned the conversation so that in the mind of the mother, the health of her son was associated with the football team.
If you are a good copywriter, then it will not be difficult for you to find the right one and build the right chain of statements to promote your product. If so, then you can easily use this advice.
- "Because…"
This is a luxury option if you need to add weight to your statements.
Compare the phrases “You need to buy this powder for washing clothes” and “You need to buy this powder because it is consumed 2 times more economically”.
Would you say that a real advantage is required here? Let's check.
"You need to buy this powder, because this is the last pack and the next delivery will be only in a month."
"You need to buy this powder because sooner or later you will need a good laundry powder."
As you can see, you are not adding anything new, but the statements sound much more convincing. Of course, this approach is unlikely to be suitable for a landing page, but for a newsletter it will be extremely convincing and effective.
- "Write your words down"
Why do you think companies regularly hold "Write an essay about the benefits of our product and get a valuable prize"? After all, people who send essays are not even obliged to buy goods of this brand.
The whole expectation is that a person, describing the advantages of a product, will begin to diligently look for them, moreover, choosing those that, in his opinion, are most interesting - after all, he wants to win a prize. After that, having written and submitted his essay, he actually signs the usefulness of the product and his good attitude towards it. And, having come to the store, he buys goods of this particular brand.
Example: As a copywriter, I myself was once influenced by a similar pattern of behavior. I once had to write for a company that made and sold L-carnitine. My responsibilities were to show in the text that this is an effective, safe and, in general, just a wonderful product that qualitatively increases all the indicators of a person both in training and in mental work. And at the same time indicate that it has no side effects.
When I later started doing fitness, I chose L-carnitine from all the sports nutrition options and even actively advised it to my friends. Later, a similar situation occurred with the Coral Club's Daily Delicious shake. I described its properties so deliciously that I soon ordered a trial package myself, which was sent to me at a big discount.
As you can see, copywriters themselves sometimes become victims of their own texts. Has it happened to you that you were imbued with confidence in the product that you yourself described?
And further. In the next article I will continue to reveal the topic of influence on the mind of the reader and the possibility of convincing the client through the text.
Until next time!
Published: 20:59 05/29/2016How to convince a person
Few people understand that in business, as in life, a very important point is the correct relationship with people. People with public speaking skills and the power of persuasion very easily climb to the top of their success. A skill with or convince a person of your dream / goal / idea - this is an invaluable gift And therefore I will now share with you small, but I hope very useful for you, rules of skillful persuasion.So, you can win over the interlocutor almost without words and certainly without foam at the mouth. Moreover, you can not only arrange, but also convince him of his own right I use several completely simple methods, which I will talk about further.
1) Take your time.
Always give the person the right to express their opinion or their thought. Do not try to interrupt him or stop him in mid-sentence, no matter what he says. Also, do not rush him or end his statement with your own words. If you ask a question, be sure to wait for an answer, and you do not need to put forward your own versions before the person speaks.
2) Show interest.
When talking, look at your counterpart. Due to the fact that even if you listen to him very carefully, but only at the same time look at something else, your interlocutor will generally regard this as a lack of any interest in him. To demonstrate elementary understanding, nod your head from time to time and insert short remarks like these: "yes, yes, I agree", "that's for sure!", "Nice to hear it", "how interesting", "always thought about it." Just do not interrupt the conversation with long digressions like: "and you know, now this reminded me of an interesting incident from my childhood ..."
3) Clarify.
In our society, many conflicts arise only because of a banal misunderstanding. To prevent these misunderstandings, use simple clarifications using, for example, these initial phrases: "You must definitely correct me if I'm wrong ...", "If I understand correctly, it turns out ...", "As I understand now you ... "," In other words ... ".
4) Think about it.
When you, during a conversation, take a short pause, supposedly pondering the information you heard, you can find out how confident your counterpart is in your words or in yourself. This technique very often forces people to change their assumptions and wishes for more beneficial ones for you. And you won't even utter a word.
5) Do not speak loudly and calmly.
6) Don't overdo it with smiles.
A smile is of course an important element of confidential communication, but it should be sincere and not intrusive. That is, it is very important not to overdo it with her. Three quarters of our population is wary of over-smiling people. If it turns out that your mouth is constantly stretched out to the ears, then for sure there will be a feeling that you are either acting out friendliness, or do not take seriously the words of the interlocutor and the issue under discussion.
7) Don't be afraid to be wrong.
You should not be too groveling to prove to people how much they can be mistaken. By doing this, you are just an opaque hint that you are smarter than them. Who will love it? I definitely do not \u003d))) I think you do the same. The best way to avoid this is to always admit the possibility of your own mistake. Let me show you with an example: "I certainly think differently, but it is quite possible that I may be mistaken. Be sure to correct if I say something wrong or in something wrong."
8) Use the form "yes, but ..."
When people hear the word "no" directly, norepinephrine is released into the bloodstream. This immediately, on a subconscious level, sets us up to fight. Conversely, when we hear the word "yes", it leads to the release of pleasure hormones - endorphins - into the body. To all of the above, the conclusion is very simple: instead of saying a sharp "no" in the forehead, it is better to effectively answer: "Yes, but I wanted to ..." and now you can already express your terms of the deal or whatever you have \u003d) )). This way you maintain a welcoming atmosphere and force the other person to seek compromises.
Participation in negotiations often turns out to be serious stress for people, so few people can be guided exclusively by reason when discussing important fundamental issues, especially when, on the other hand, a skillful manipulator is involved in the negotiations, using your own emotions against you. Here are some tricks of professional negotiators, with the help of which you can win over the interlocutor and even impose on him some conditions that are beneficial exclusively to you.
1. Name your terms first
Many psychologists recommend that applicants for any position do not mention the desired salary at the interview and at the first contacts with the employer it is really better to refrain from this, focusing on their business qualities. But if you see that the decision has been made in your favor, you should take the initiative and be the first to name the terms of cooperation - the so-called pegging effect will work: the amount you have designated will open up space for bargaining and become a starting point for discussing other details. Recent research shows that even if the salary required by the applicant is clearly too high, but the candidate for the position is the first to name his conditions, the employer is more willing to make concessions.
When the interlocutor himself is the first to indicate the price, but it does not suit you, draw a conclusion: most likely he is familiar with the effect of anchoring and is trying to manipulate you, or does not count on further cooperation at all. In this case, go to the counterattack - you can declare that the announced amount is not serious and such offers offend you, after which the interlocutor will be forced to end the conversation, or listen to your conditions.
2. Change the subject
Negotiators almost never get hung up on a single subject of discussion and change of topic - perhaps the most common technique used in negotiations, especially if different details need to be discussed, or they involve several people. When negotiations reach a dead end or take a direction that is disadvantageous for one of the parties, it may be more effective for negotiators to postpone the resolution of one issue and switch to another.
For example, let's take a deal for the sale of a car on credit - the parties need to agree on the price of the car, the first installment, the monthly payment and the ability to repay part of the amount at the expense of the buyer's old car. If any of the points of discussion raises doubts among the buyer and the negotiations "stall", the seller may offer to discuss the next issue - in this case, the client will forget about the problem for a while. For example, if the buyer does not like the total price, the seller needs to find out how much the client can deposit right away and how much he is willing to pay each month, thinking about these numbers will make him more accommodating. The deeper the interlocutor plunges into negotiations, the higher his desire to carry out the deal.
If you yourself are faced with the fact that the interlocutor is trying to make you forget about unfavorable conditions by switching attention to other topics, do not let him get away from the problem, but do not try to talk about benefits ahead of time (for example, the possibility of transferring an old car as a partial repayment of the cost of a new one, in the example of buying a car) that you are seeking - negotiations are likely to break down.
3. State an imaginary problem
Such tactics presuppose a shift in the focus of negotiations, in which one of the parties designates a secondary issue as fundamentally important. This makes it possible to make "concessions", which the interlocutor perceives as a "noble gesture" and the achievement of success in the discussion, while he himself is more willing to meet halfway.
It is quite easy to counteract the false concessions of the interlocutor - in the end, you can always forget about the interlocutor's interests, imaginary or real compromises and be guided only by your own benefit, but practice shows that this method will more likely lead to the collapse of the discussion.
If you want to be sure that the negotiator is not manipulating you by creating false problems and triumphantly "solving" them, you should analyze his position in detail and try to understand what the interlocutor is really ready to sacrifice and what he uses only as a fake bargaining chip.
4. Appeal to higher authorities
One of the most effective ways to turn the tide of negotiations in your favor is also to appeal to the highest authorities - in other words, if you feel that the conditions imposed on you are not beneficial, declare that you do not have full authority and should discuss everything with management. In particular, this classic technique performed by the actor William Macy (can be seen in the comedy of black humor "Fargo", released on screens in 1996.
Using this technique, you can kill two birds with one stone: firstly, negotiations are essentially suspended and the other party can compromise to resume them, and secondly, this way you save face, making it clear to the interlocutor that the problem is not with you.
If such tactics are used against you, it makes sense to demand a meeting with a superior person who has the competence to resolve the disagreements that have arisen. Remember that the party with the most patience is more likely to succeed in negotiations, so try to make the other person want to end the fruitless debate as soon as possible.
5. Calculate your best alternative
There is always a risk that the negotiations will finally and irrevocably come to a standstill, so you must have a so-called Best Alternative Agreement (BAC). If you are fully aware of your LAN, then you immediately understand whether the deal will be profitable or not, and you can quickly navigate. It is also good if you try to find out the LANS of the interlocutor in order to understand what conditions he is ready to accept. Knowing exactly the best alternatives is one of the keys to negotiating.
For example, you need to sell a super modern jet plane and you have several potential buyers. If the terms of the deal do not suit one client, contact another, and so on, until you are given an acceptable price, comparable to the market average. In this case, your LAN is the same average market price minus the time that you may have to spend on negotiations with several buyers (after all, time, as you know, is money).
If there is a suspicion that the other party in negotiations with you intends to use this trick (most often, it does), prepare for the meeting properly - collect information about the client, get acquainted with the market situation, and already during the discussion of the terms of the transaction try to find out all the details of the capabilities and aspirations of the interlocutor and try not to reveal your cards ahead of time.
