If you fall in love with a married girl ...
There is a lot of unfairness in life. I fell in love with the girl with all my heart, and she is married. Real feelings are not judged by nation, social status or marital status. If fell in love with a married girl... then there is little joy in this. On the one hand, you want happiness and reciprocal feelings, on the other hand, the moral side is haunted. Especially if the beloved has a common child with her husband.
The main psychological moment in such a situation can be rephrased into the following question: "Does a person have the right to be happy, or is he obliged to suffer?" In other words, no matter which path a man in love takes. it won't be easy. But, only in the case when the girl reciprocates, there can be common goals and joint efforts will facilitate the solution of such a difficult situation.
To love, but not to destroy the family
All men are very jealous. Even a fleeting smile, presented to a beloved girl, can turn into a scandal for her at home. Husband - although he is an obstacle on the way to your happiness, you should not go ahead. So you can very much harm your loved one.
Even if the girl answers you to your love, then where is the confidence that this is not a fleeting hobby? And feelings will fade, losing their sharpness, with your approach. The Forbidden fruit is sweet! While your beloved wife is different, maybe this is the very circumstance that attracts you?
Before taking any steps, you need to weigh everything many times so as not to regret what you have done later ...
Strive for your happiness
If you are absolutely sure that the one you love and the one that, unfortunately, is married is the only opportunity to be happy in this life, then you need to act. If a girl loves you, and you are also her only chance for happiness, then you need to try to combine efforts to achieve the goal - creating a family.
After all, this is your only goal, for the sake of which you will break someone else's family and make someone unhappy? If such an end is not provided for in your story, then you should not fool a woman's head. Perhaps she will be happier with her legal husband than with you.
Sometimes, people who built their happiness on the ruins of a broken family are never completely happy. This may be due to prejudice and your own conscience, and, sadly, a child from another man.
Not every lover can accept the child of his beloved from ex-husband... You need to have a huge reserve of tolerance and loyalty to an innocent creature. And, you still need to love, to the pain in your soul, all children, and not just your own. Then someone else's baby can become a family. Not sure if you are capable of such love in a child? Don't fool the poor woman's head!
If you decide to seek your beloved, then keep in mind that you run the risk of being beaten. In the literal sense of the word. By destroying someone's family, you can destroy more than one person's life. It is clear that the one from whom his wife can be taken is capable of strong emotions and even fair anger. Will you be able to adequately accept such trials and not harm the person from whom you are going to take the most precious thing? Are you afraid for your health? Then leave the unfortunate girl alone!
Love for a married woman is a very difficult situation, and everyone finds a way out of it. If a man is able to "wrestle" with his ego, then he leaves the choice for the girl. First of all, it is her family that is at risk of being broken, and her child may lose his father.
Are you ready to take on this responsibility? Then - forward, towards your happiness!
Fell in love with an ex-girlfriend, what to do?
What to do to make a girl fall in love?
Good night! I have such a situation: I am married 3.5 years, two children, fell in love (or maybe it seems to me) with a young man. Relations with my husband began to go wrong even before I met another. He just does not understand me, we We swear almost all the time, the common topic of conversation is children. I can't understand whether love has passed, or I don't know what. We got married for love, or just the time has come. We were 23 years old. And I suggested getting married. , I was not pregnant. Now, when I met another, I changed noticeably, even my husband noticed it. There is not a lot of time for meetings, we mainly communicate by phone. We have known each other for 8 months (or only). But this is not a little He knows literally everything about me, we have a lot in common. He has already confessed his love to me several times, I meanwhile translated everything into a joke. Love on my part is, but not love. It's very difficult for me! I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. , but I understand that without him I feel very bad too. Sometimes we quarrel a little, then I start to break down at home. He doesn't know anything (but I'm very jealous), I don't tell anyone either. That's why I'm going crazy, I don't know who to ask, either advice or a reproach. Help me look at this situation from the outside! I would be grateful for any answer!
Hello Anna!
Feelings sometimes cool down with your husband and you just have a crisis in your relationship at this very moment and you have a surge of emotions with another person with whom you think you are in love.
To begin with, I would advise you to look at situations from all sides:
1. How will you be without your husband?
2. Do you see yourself next to the person you are in love with at the moment?
3. Is your new boyfriend ready to welcome your children and dive into everyday life?
By answering these questions to yourself, you will understand what you need at the moment and in future life.
Arrange all the pros and cons. Good luck to you!
Hello! Thanks for the answer!
You know, I asked myself these questions myself, but I never got any definite answers, as if there were two people sitting in me and one understood that I was doing stupidity, and the other said: don't you just deserve to be happy ...
Now I understand that without a husband I could, and even more, I don’t want a “third” child (as a husband). I am often alone with my children and I understand that I’m even better this way. I just want a loved one who would not even try climb into my life, but just loved me. But there is always a "but": 1) children, who must have a father, 2) a young man who in the end wants me to be just him and not wasted attention, in this case for children.
I want to be near him, and I see that he too. But I don't have the right to weigh my whole life on him. I understand that this is completely alien to him.
Making a conclusion, answering myself, I convince myself that all this will pass, albeit with time. Only now I understand that it will not go away just like that, a trace will remain, and I don't know what to do next.
I'm still young, I want both attention, and warmth, and love. My husband treats me like a roommate; probably believing that I’m not going anywhere. I treat him well, but I don’t feel love, more just a habit; just life that unites.
Anna, as I understand you)
Was in a similar situation and even more than once.
But I managed to free myself from these feelings, of course there was no smell of love, but still I was drawn to a person and could not help myself (
I believe that you can handle it and then you will remember these moments as bright events in your life.
If my husband is a burden, I would of course think ...
I have a question: how old are the kids?
How much attention does the father give them?
Nowadays, many women do an excellent job themselves, you probably understand what I mean)
I'm now expecting a fourth child and I'm not at all afraid to be alone, I never held on to anyone and was independent, from the age of 13 I tried to earn a penny for some household stuff, for clothes by September 1, we lived poorly.
And now I do not depend on anyone and believe that even if I stay with the children alone, I will cope with all the difficulties and replace them with my father.
Sometimes dads do not need so-called children, I have seen a lot of families where fathers are just an application. Therefore, judging your situation simply by your descriptions is not easy, it's up to you.
And in this case you need to think not only about yourself, or rather not even about yourself, but about the children. About their comfort, happiness.
I'm sure you will be happy)
Sometimes we are simply afraid to part with the past and simply do not want to let it go. And as they say: "until we let go of the past, we will not have a present! ("
You have something to think about, but you should not overload yourself with bad thoughts.
Yes, you know, there is something to think about, although lately this is all I do)
Of course, children are the most important thing for me now, they are still small: 1.3 and 2.8. And although I want to change my life, I understand that I cannot do this now, the children are not to blame that their parents “suffer from garbage ".Husband is used to the fact that I do everything myself and does not particularly strain, even with the children, he is afraid to be alone. And if I do everything alone, then the question arises: why ... should I do it? I can provide myself and the children myself. As for intimacy, in our time it is no longer necessary to get married.
I reassure myself that everyone has their own problems, and I will cope with mine, somehow, someday ... I just don't know how long I will last. And what kind of past to let go, you should think about it.
I hope that with a young man everything will come to naught by itself. But I catch myself thinking that I don’t want to lose him. Who doesn’t like to feel needed and loved? Nothing in our life lasts forever, even a relationship. Therefore, sometimes it may not it is bad to listen to the phrase: "Seize the moment!" The main thing is never to lose your head!
Thank you for your advice!
Anna, I believe that you will figure it out) I would also like to clarify the following question: how closely related are the relations of your children with their own father? This is important. Children are small and at this age they can get used to another man without any problems, it is important that this “other dad” is really interested in this. You know, if your boyfriend is interested in how your children are, maybe he buys something for them, then there is no reason to doubt his feelings for you and your children, he will accept as his own. If there are no such impulses on his part, then I would think about his feelings, because if a man loves his wife, he loves her children. Think about it too)
I completely agree with you.
The young man is interested in my children, we calmly talk about them. I ask you not to buy anything for me or them, so as not to give the house a reason again. He saw my older girl more than once, we walked together a couple of times. But I doubt that children will be able to accept “another dad”. In our time, at such an early age, they have become so smart, they are already reasoning, drawing conclusions. I’m afraid of hurting the child’s psyche. The older one is attached to the father, the younger is “mother’s dotsya”.
And we didn't talk to the guy about this either, I'm afraid to ask, I don't want to impose everything on him all at once.
And you know, my relatives will not support me, they really like my son-in-law, and all my problems are because of me alone, as if I myself exaggerate everything, and in fact everything is fine.
But how can a bee know what's going on in the hive until it gets there?
YOU reason very intelligently and you will be able to put this puzzle together, everything has its time) And you have enough time, do not rush things, let it go as it goes, and you just go with the flow. They say you can't get away from fate, so don't try. If this is yours, then so be it!
Good afternoon!
A few months ago, a colleague appeared at work who is married, has a child and is 6 years older than me. We immediately found a common language and began to communicate closely. Quite quickly, this communication grew into love on my part (on her part - I don't know). I can say with confidence that this is not just a hobby. There is something to compare - the relationship was not so little. Before meeting her, it seemed, I fell in love with many women, and now I understand that I just admired their beauty, and now they are just beautiful women for me, but not close and loved, one might say, against her background, they are all equally beautiful ... And I like her not only externally, but, so to speak, spiritually. I do not dare to take any serious steps yet, because, firstly, I am not sure of reciprocity, and secondly, again, it is awkward (to put it mildly) to try to destroy someone else's family for the sake of my feelings. Therefore, now everything is limited only to the manifestation of increased attention to her and care on my part. And I myself think about her day and night, I want to carry her in my arms, spend as much time with her as possible ...
Thanks in advance for your advice and understanding of the situation!
Hello, Alexander! The forbidden fruit is generally sweet for both men and women.
And what do you mean by “began to communicate closely”? If she accepts your "courtship", because she simply cannot notice that you are showing increased attention to her, that's right. This means that you can not doubt reciprocity, although sometimes women simply adore when they pay attention to them and take advantage of this position, while not at all eager to develop any relationship.
I believe that you need to wait and just pay attention to her reaction and only then make any attempts at action.
In my opinion, married woman can be quickly scared away by demanding serious relationship, so this must be done smoothly, for a start, just try to become a friend, understanding and patient, and if there are any feelings on her part, she will definitely reciprocate. And do not rush so as not to frighten off)
Good luck to you!
Thank you! Actually, he adhered to the same opinion about "you can quickly frighten off", therefore, he did not act too decisively and hastily before. Your advice only strengthened my opinion, so thanks again!
Good day!
For half a year I have a relationship with a married girl. She has a daughter, 10 years old. Feelings are mutual, but she is afraid of such changes in life, ready to hurt herself and me, but not others. At the same time, he cannot part with me (they have already tried it more than once). She says that he cannot, that I would not be near at all, and I do not want to see her one day a week. Tell me how to sort out this situation.
More information
Not all girls are waiting for their love. Many people quickly marry just about anyone. And early marriages for women are not uncommon. Therefore, sooner or later you may fall in love with the girl who has a husband. Then you will have to think about what to do if you fell in love with a married woman, and suffer. But there are only a few options here.
Which married woman can you fall in love with?
A not always married woman is a nymph. Sometimes these ladies are no better than street prostitutes. And if your love with her began with her filing, then you have every chance. She hardly has a good relationship with her husband. Everything goes to divorce, since she is looking for someone on the side.
Fell in love with a married woman at a distance. This also happens. She is married, you love her and you just found out about it. This is a very difficult situation. Here you can destroy someone else's family, and your own life. It is better to get rid of such love.
Also, you can fall in love with a girl who is your friend. She is married, you didn't want anything like that from her. But then suddenly ...
Here she has to understand whether she wants to be with her husband. Or you (her friend), in fact, should have become a husband, just something went wrong.
What to do when fell in love with a married woman?
Best of all, forget all about it nafig. Here against you will be:
- Your parents;
- Her parents;
- Her husband;
- Public;
- Heavenly punishment.
And if your feelings are not too strong, then run to hell. It will be better for everyone.
You can still destroy her family. Convince her that her husband is bad and you are good. She will go to you. But it will only work when everything is so bad in their family. Otherwise, husband and wife may unite against you.
There are individuals who say that you can love her from a distance. But this is extremely stupid. This kind of love is only suitable for maniacs and perverts. Better to choose from the first two options.
How to prevent love with a married woman?
To avoid such problems, you need to establish contacts in your social circle. Chat with girls of your rank who have no families. try dating one of them.
Then there will be no room in your head for love with a married girl. The same can be said about the passion for creativity or sports.
Never put your hormones ahead of your mind. Always think with your head. Analyze your feelings. Don't let them come up suddenly without your knowledge.
Your behavior
If you love a person who already has a husband, then it is better not to tell anyone about it. Otherwise, word of mouth will quickly turn you into a pervert.
Take your time to hate her husband and get angry. After all, he did nothing wrong. And you are the aggressor here.
Do not commit rash acts and violations of the law. Then you may be ashamed. And you can get under the corner or other responsibility.
Love is not an all-encompassing feeling. It passes and leaves. Don't be afraid of her. Try to defeat her. Love should be where it has a place. Despite everything, it can only appear in the film. Life is not so simple. This means that you need to listen to the voice of reason and have good willpower.
“Hello, Anastasia! I decided to offer you a topic for an article or video, and get an answer to my question ... The fact is that I married but fell in love with another man. What to do?
My marriage is quite young, only 3 years old. Maybe it's about us: love lives for three years? I dreamed about happy family and beloved husband for life. And now I'm thinking about another man. Help with advice! Maybe there is someone who was already in a similar situation? "
Why did it happen, why did I fall in love?
A married woman falls in love for one reason: she lacks love. In the meantime, she can be married in one of 2 states:
1. She is emotionally free from marriage and from relationships with her husband (he is unpleasant to her), although they continue to live together (because of children, apartment, business, fear of leaving the comfort zone, etc.).
2. There are feelings for my husband, but against the background of grievances, claims, fatigue and some dissatisfaction with their marriage.
Let's consider both options separately, and answer the question in detail: what if a married woman suddenly falls in love with another man?
So if a woman is emotionally free from marriage, what does that mean? - Most often, she has a rejection of her husband, everyone lives their own life, it is difficult to fulfill the usual duties at the level of family, everyday issues.
Both may already be subconsciously ready for divorce, but the habit delays the moment of deciding on a divorce. There may be other reasons why the spouses are together, but the importance lies elsewhere - the wife no longer loves her husband.
Therefore, falling in love comes quite justifiably. The question is, what to do with it? Is it possible to somehow save the marriage? - If there is a desire, then there are chances.
And if you don't want to do anything for marriage, you shouldn't torture yourself. The answer, in my opinion, is obvious - give yourself a chance to find new love and happiness in new relationships. But the decision is up to you.
The second picture is fundamentally different from the first: a woman has feelings for her husband, but because of innuendo, moral exhaustion and unresolved everyday issues, the feelings were lost, which led to the appearance of the illusion (!) Of love for another man.
Exactly illusionsbecause female psychology is structured differently: if a woman loves one man, then only the hopes are pinned on the second that he will give her what the first does not give.
It can be affection, attention, passion, lightness, carelessness, but not love. She already has love and you need to make every effort to ensure that she decides to leave her husband. Falling in love - yes, but it's like a projection, a phantom, a copy of love. And there is the original - love for her husband.
Your actions
Take a piece of paper and a pen and honestly answer yourself the following questions:
- What exactly attracted me to the new man? - Transfer.
- What are the consequences if I start a relationship with this man?
- Will our relationship be as important to him?
- Will I be happier?
- How will I feel if I start dating this man?
- Can I feel the same with my husband? What can I do for this?
- How do I feel about my husband? - Transfer.
- What will happen if he suddenly does not appear in my life?
- Am I ready to sacrifice my marriage for a new love?
- Will I be able to lie to my husband, children?
- What am I missing in my relationship with my husband?
- If I find out that my husband has a mistress, how will I feel? How will I behave?
- How do I want my marriage to be? - List the points.
- What can I do to implement each item?
- What can a spouse do?
- What can I do to get my husband to work hard for our relationship?
Remember the proverb: “The husband is the head and the wife is the neck. Where the neck turns, the head looks there ”? The last question is a prime example of this proverb.
The wife should not force, learn to provoke the husband. It is important to evoke the desire to act and we, women, can do it.
Summing up
When a woman is initially serious about marriage and a man's choice, the sudden feeling of new love does little damage to the family and existing relationships. On the contrary, this is a reason to cheer up and pay attention to the relationship with your spouse.
This love needs analysis: "What?" and "Why?" and also: "Why should I?" and "Where will it lead?"
"Tears off the tower" only because the woman is tired of the usual scenery, this is the first and second - she does not know how to improve relations with her husband. This is the main question!
In order to change the scenery and not break wood, go to visit your mother, sister, friend. Rearrange furniture or change the wallpaper - it is important for you to somehow stir up the space around.
About, how to improve relations with husband we will talk about it in the next article.
I would like to believe that this article turned out to be useful and timely for someone. Remember: any decision you make will be correct and necessary.
