Valeria Protasova
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Married men, according to most women, do not want to accept gifts from their mistresses. There is only one reason - he will not be able to justify himself to his wife and tell where the thing came from. Of course, all men are different. Maybe this doesn't apply to your lover? Then be bold and give him an unusual gift that will be memorable and pleasant.
Diary
Perhaps the best gift is a daily notebook or notepad. He will use it in the office, making important notes in it.
You don’t have to sign it, in case your wife decides to look at his notebook and, seeing your signature, starts making scandals.
In the store you can purchase very stylish and beautiful diaries. They can be made of leather, such things can be used for a long time. There are notebooks with or without a clasp.
Pen
A modern gift for a married businessman is a pen. His wife will never know that you gave it to him. He will use the pen every day.
Please note that you can choose an unusual pen - a fountain pen, a ballpoint pen. Its owner will definitely be pleased with the gift.
A lover can congratulate her beloved by giving a pen for any occasion - birthday, New Year, February 23, Valentine's Day. A pen is a win-win option.
Computer mouse or keyboard
Remember that a mistress should not declare herself, but you shouldn’t be a gray mouse either. If your loved one works at a computer or loves to spend time playing games in the evening, you can buy a keyboard or computer mouse for him.
Such a gift will always be on point. He will be able to explain himself to his wife, saying: “I decided to buy myself a new thing, since the old one has become unusable.” And you won’t have to worry about your wife suspecting you.
If the gift is at work, then this gift idea also remains the best. A married businessman will be able to use the item and remember you.
Automotive parts
Pay attention to your loved one's wishes. Often he may say that he wants some part for the car. This could be a new mirror, winter tires, etc.
If you don’t understand automotive topics, then tell him about it directly and offer to purchase something at your expense. Of course, he will not refuse, perhaps - he lacked a certain amount to make a purchase. He will be glad that you decided to pay attention to him in this way.
Car parts will not give you away, your wife will not know that you gave something. And if he asks him, he himself will be able to answer - they say, I had to buy it for the car, I bought it.
Ticket to a concert, theater
Find out what kind of music your partner likes, what interests him from the world of art. One of the best gifts is a ticket to a concert, theater, or museum. You will immediately kill two birds with one stone - you will delight with your gift and spend time with your loved one.
Conspiracy is worth thinking about. Your lover's spouse will not know about this gift, but will be able to see you at the event.
Certificate for a perfume store
This is also the best gift. You will pay attention to your loved one, and his wife will not know about your existence.
Many people consider buying perfume a personal matter. But, if you don’t buy him cologne or perfume yourself, then it won’t be personal.
A certificate for the purchase of perfume or cologne is a great gift idea. A man will be able to independently choose what he needs, based on his preferences.
Mobile phone or technology
A cell phone, camera, Bluetooth headset, headphones, electric razor, mp3 player, e-book and other equipment will be able to please your man. If he is wealthy, then he can easily get away from his wife, since he can buy these things for himself. If he doesn’t have that much money to make such purchases, then he can come up with another story - say that his work colleagues gave him a wonderful phone.
Of course, a cell phone and other equipment are a great gift idea. But it’s still worth finding out your lover’s opinion - what if he is offended by such attention from you...
A bottle of cognac and a box of chocolates
Edibles have always been a popular gift. Note that if you give such a surprise to a man, he will spend a romantic evening with you, which means he will pay attention to you, and not to his wife. This is an excellent gift that not only your lover, but also you will be happy with.
An edible gift, of course, is not memorable, but it also has its advantages.
Sports equipment or tool set
Rely on the interests of your loved one. If he is an athlete, then sports equipment will suit him, for example - dumbbells, weights, expander, exercise machine. If he likes to repair a car or any equipment, and takes care of it, then a good gift is a set of tools.
These are just sample gift ideas. When choosing a surprise, consider your man's opinion. Determine what he really needs, what will please him - and at the same time will not reveal your presence to his wife. Be careful otherwise.
Have there been similar situations in your life? And how did you get out of them? Share your stories in the comments below!
Valeria Protasova
Psychologist with more than three years of practical experience in social psychology and pedagogy. Psychology is my life, my work, my hobby and way of life. I write what I know about. I believe that human relationships are important in all areas of our lives.
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Many women take lovers. Some are driven to take this step by banal dissatisfaction with their own marriage, while others are driven by a thirst for adrenaline and romantic adventures.
However, the reasons are unimportant - much more important is the fact that the lover becomes a beloved man and a loved one. Like any loved one, he needs to be congratulated on various holidays, especially Happy New Year, February 23, Valentine's Day and, of course, happy birthday.
This is exactly what we will talk about in this article, where we will tell you in detail how to choose a gift for your lover on his birthday and what rules you need to follow.
Precautionary measures
It just so happens that the concept of “lover” means that at least one of you is married. Therefore, you need to be careful when choosing and giving gifts. Otherwise, you could jeopardize your loved one's marriage or your own.
- A married lover cannot be given gifts that women usually give - clothes, accessories or souvenirs. Men very rarely buy such things themselves - especially those who are over 45 years old. In turn, the lover’s wife will quickly notice the new thing and become interested in its origin. Therefore, it is better to concentrate on “neutral” gifts that can be received from friends or colleagues. The man himself is responsible for this part of the legend - it is he who has to figure out who the item was received from. It is advisable that the spouse does not communicate with fake donors, otherwise the deception may be revealed.
- However, if you really want to give one of the above, you can find a way out. Firstly, gifts can be kept at home (provided you are single). Then your loved one will use the gift he received during the time he spends with you. Secondly, you can give gifts that a man can only use at work and not take out from there. Sometimes a man has a second apartment, equipped specifically for meetings with his mistress, but this option is rare.
- If you are married and do not earn money on your own, then it is better to do without expensive things. Your husband may not be very attentive to you, but he will probably become suspicious if you spend a large amount of money at the same time every year. Or save money for a gift in advance.
What to gift
So, what should you choose as a gift for your “other half”?
Please your loved ones, but do not forget to be careful!
Holiday time is a wonderful time. It is during this period that you can receive a desired thing as a gift or do something nice for your loved one. When it comes to the fact that you need to not only really surprise your lover, but also do it in such a way as not to arouse suspicion from his wife, you have to really rack your brains. Usually the end justifies the means, because this way you can turn your chosen one towards you even more. Let's talk about how not to make a mistake in choosing which of the women men show more generosity to, why do they save on mistresses?
Why doesn’t a lover give gifts and what to do about it?
When a relationship is just beginning, and a man is in love and is in a state of euphoria, he is ready to do, if not everything, then a lot for his mistress. The main goal is to possess the object of desire: to see, interact, hear warm words, catch an admiring glance. For this reason, even the most stingy person is capable of spending crazy amounts of money, just so that his beloved would be favorable to him. What happens next, and where does the generosity disappear? Did he get what he wanted and relax, or did the chosen one take such a position that she no longer wanted to pamper her? Let's look at the most common reasons:
- Doesn't understand hints. A man gives his time, care, love, and believes that this is enough to make a woman happy. She had already shown a beautiful dress in the catalog, and said that her friend had recently been given a new fur coat, but there was no result. What to do? Talk directly about your desires, and then it’s up to him.
- Problems with finances. Representatives of the stronger sex usually try to hide their material problems from the lady, so as not to look weak and unworthy in her eyes. They prefer to talk about their successes in order to hear praise addressed to them. What to do? Observe: what he orders in a cafe, whether his wardrobe is updated, whether he buys something for the car. If it turns out that your loved one is saving on himself, it means that he is going through really hard times now and should wait a little.
- Greedy. Greed is one of the worst human qualities. Even if a lover owns millions, he will never spend too much and will count every penny. Such persons carefully study restaurant receipts, do not leave tips, constantly talk about money, talk about their capabilities, but do not demonstrate this in practice. What should I do? Resign yourself or leave, because he will not change.
- Doesn't understand what to pay for. Previous efforts led to the desired result, so why try now? He has already received everything he wanted, and gifts to his mistress can only be given on major holidays. There are cases when former lovers bathed in luxury throughout the entire novel, but here you can’t even expect flowers. What to do? Look for the reason in yourself, show coldness, become less accessible, less likely to agree to what he offers and asks for.
- Not taken seriously. When a lover does not give gifts even at the initial stage, for him it is just a passing hobby. Who wants to invest in a “business” that they will not engage in later? Advice: directly ask for financial assistance or point out a lack of attention. If the man correctly refuses or changes the subject, suspicions about the frivolity of his intentions are confirmed.
- Afraid of not pleasing. Often women, without noticing it themselves, behave capriciously and pickily, react with dissatisfaction to some gifts or speak unflatteringly about gifts from exes. Then the man decides that it is better to do without surprises at all, so as not to incur indignation. What to do? Watch your speech and be grateful.
- The mistress doesn't need anything. Having heard a couple of times that she does not need anything, that she is self-sufficient, independent and in general the main thing in a relationship is attention, the companion stops making attempts to “please” the chosen one. What to do? Be modest in moderation, otherwise you may be left with nothing.
What to give your lover for his birthday?
A birthday is a special holiday, so you want to give your loved one something memorable and at the same time necessary, but if he is in a legal relationship, you need to resort to secrecy. Let’s try to answer the question: “What to give to a married lover so that his wife doesn’t suspect anything?”
What he can't bear to leave work:
- Stationery (notepad, pen). A beautiful stylish thing will be useful to any business man.
- Paperweight. An object made of bronze, glass or marble will look gorgeous.
- Frame. Perhaps the lover will dare to insert a photo there not of his wife and children, but of his lady love.
- Ashtray. A win-win for a smoker. Expensive cigars in a set with a guillotine for trimming the ends are also suitable.
- Painting. It will decorate the interior, add coziness and warmth, and most importantly, it will always remind you of the one who presented this wonderful gift.
What he could have bought himself:
- Set of tools. A must have in the arsenal of any good owner.
- Accessories for the car. As a rule, men dote on their cars, so such a gift will appeal to every car enthusiast.
- Shaving kit. It will never be superfluous.
- Creams and sprays for shoe care. It will definitely be appreciated by those who are meticulous about their shoes.
What he could receive as a gift from colleagues:
- High quality alcohol. Even someone who doesn't drink needs to keep an expensive bottle of whiskey at the bar.
- Business card holder. A useful thing that allows you to store all your contacts in one place.
- Set of tie and cufflinks. Indispensable for both everyday use and holidays.
- A “neutral” gift set that will not arouse suspicion.
What will remain in memory:
- Romantic dinner. Delicious food, wine, candles in the company of a charming lady, and he will forget about everything in the world.
- Amazing sex. To make a man happy and make him fall in love with you even more, it is enough to arrange an unforgettable night filled with vivid emotions.
- Going to the theater, cinema or exhibition. It is necessary to choose an event based on the personal preferences of the chosen one, since, first of all, this is his holiday.
- Joint trip. Will please those who love to travel.
What you should never give as a gift:
- Perfume. Usually a wife or someone close to her buys perfume for her husband, so there is no need to give such a gift to your lover on his birthday.
- Underwear. You should not give an unavailable man underwear, otherwise he will have to explain himself for a very long time at home.
- A postcard with declarations of feelings and tender words. Jealous women have an excellent nose for such “favors.”
Gifts for wife and lover. Are there any differences between them?
It is difficult to accurately predict who a man is willing to spend more money on. It all depends on which of the women means more to him and whom he values more. If the wife has long been bored and romance is limited to flowers on March 8, most likely, the hero-lover will invest money in a new passion, and the missus will give a symbolic gift (candies and champagne). If a mistress is perceived as a temporary hobby, and the family is sacred for him, then his wife will be a priority.
According to statistics, wives are more often given electronic devices, household items, practical things, and money, but mistresses are presented with something more sophisticated, ranging from expensive trinkets to diamonds.
When choosing a gift for a loved one, it is important to take into account not only his tastes, preferences, hobbies, but also the status of the relationship, and also navigate the situation. In any case, the best gift is the one given from the heart!
The men answer unanimously: themselves in beautiful lingerie and a night of love. Everyone wants this night to be unforgettable. Why not? All you need is tenderness, care and the desire to please him. Plus a little imagination. But if a woman loves, she will not stand by the price. She is looking for a gift that is as impressive as a Ferrari, as majestic as the Taj Mahal and as passionate as the "Appassionata". Because not a single thing can convey the power of her passion. Women, keep it simple.
Read also: The most complete gift guide for February 14, 2015
For benefit
There are a lot of useful items with buttons and blades that will emphasize your special relationship with a man. For example, a straight razor - perhaps not as useful, but very stylish. The katana umbrella is a manly thing. Rain outside the window. I’ll take a katana and go get a loaf... If a man cooks himself, he will like a set of spices, beautifully decorated on a rotating stand. In general, the Internet can help you. They offer cups on wheels, stones for cooling whiskey (it is recommended to give as a gift along with a bottle of drink) and a huge assortment of leather belts, wallets, and flasks. It is permissible to give clothes to a loved one. You may think this is too practical. However, such a gift is more effective than valentines, endless text messages, declarations of love to a cat or bunny, and photo collages of happy moments. And if you want to give the gift a romantic touch, present yourself in beautiful lingerie and a night of love. All you need is tenderness, imagination and the ability to seduce.
For hobby
It's a rare man who refuses new experiences. For such cases, there are gift certificates for extreme entertainment. A flight simulator, a master class in sniper shooting or rock climbing, an extreme driving course, a master class in photography - depends on the man’s interests. Prices are quite reasonable, from 200-300 UAH. You can include several impressions in the certificate, and the man himself will choose the most interesting. General rule: if you want to give a man an item, then it must have at least one button (on - off) and at least one function (open - close). An item that simply stands and decorates is not listed. Only a metrosexual would appreciate expensive lingerie as a gift, but such men are not uncommon these days. In the evening, give him yourself in beautiful lingerie and a night of love. All you need is passion, attraction and variety.
For relax
Again, at your disposal is a certificate from the set “1000 and one exotic pleasure”: ancient Indian massage, classic Thai massage, samurai massage with bamboo brooms, cryomassage and Burmese massage, Japanese bath or a meditation course. A great opportunity to relax in a beautiful, memorable environment. If it’s hard to get a man out of the house, give him a massage yourself. Or give a special device: a mat with needles, a stepper, a home exercise machine to strengthen muscles. You can end the evening with a light dinner and, finally (he’s been waiting for this all day), give him yourself in beautiful lingerie and a night of love. All you need is dim lights, soft music and a desire for intimacy.
For romance
There is nothing more romantic than memories of the time you spent well together. The range of city entertainment includes a movie theater for two, tea drinking or wine tasting for two, excursions “Secret Kyiv”, “Night Watch” in Lviv. Use your imagination. Perhaps there is a good exhibition or concert taking place in the city. Or you can sit out in the warmth: set the table beautifully, prepare an original dish, open a bottle of good wine, turn off phones and laptops, turn on pleasant music, strew the bed with rose petals... Then - according to plan. Treat yourself to beautiful lingerie and a night of love. All you need is the desire to please and enjoy.
For the soul
Invite a man for a Thai massage, erotic or anti-stress - only for two. Because suddenly he, insensitive, did not prepare a special gift. So may it be good for both him and you. An exclusive alcoholic drink or gift set with fruits, delicacies and sweets is welcome for any occasion. Most men like a warm sweater, a soft stylish scarf or good gloves as a gift. If you are close and frank enough, then you probably know what gift a man would not refuse. Remember: Valentine's Day is a day of declaration of love. Try not to burden the fragile romance of this day with gifts and celebrations. Some women wait all year to be told “I love you.” Something she has known about for a long time. But knowing is one thing, but hearing is something completely different. Therefore, on Valentine's Day, a woman should look great, be in a good mood and ready for the most unexpected and long-awaited declarations of love. Be sure to give yourself a set of sexy lingerie, and give him yourself.
You value your lover and do not interfere in his personal life, even though he is dear to you as a man. But on the eve of any holiday, you think about what to give him in order to please him, but at the same time not provoke a family scandal. By the way, there is a wide choice.
What is definitely not worth giving?
You and your lover are “soldiers of the invisible front”:
Your meetings take place in safe houses.
Your conversations on the phone are not clear to everyone.
Your correspondence is carefully encrypted.
Therefore, gifts should be such that when they arrive at a married lover’s home, they do not arouse any suspicion.
Here's what you shouldn't give:
Something with the symbolism of love. Postcards with tender wishes, souvenirs with a loving signature, anything with hearts and flowers. Many insidious mistresses thus want to hint to their wife about her husband’s infidelity in order to take the man away from her.
Romantic dinner in a restaurant with an exact date and time. A man is not free and is burdened with a family, which means he can be busy at this time. And in general, conspiracy in a restaurant in itself is ridiculous, especially if the city is small.
Expensive things. Anything that a man has purchased that is not within his budget may arouse suspicion. Even if the wife has no idea about the presence of a mistress, she can still cause a scandal because the husband hid a “large nest egg” from the family treasury.
Personal items. If a man never buys clothes for himself, but does it together with his wife or trusts his wife to buy clothes, then this will definitely arouse suspicion. The wife will immediately discover a “foreign” item in her husband’s wardrobe and give him a beating.
Virtual gift. In the same article you can read about virtual gifts. For example, your beloved man has a weakness for virtual games (let’s say tanks), and you yourself are happy to race with him in the same squad to be “on the same wavelength.” His wife is unlikely to notice the new equipment in his ammunition load, but he will be pleased.
Do you know what else is good about an intangible gift? It is very difficult to do it - you need to thoroughly know all the preferences of a man so as not to miss. This sign of attention is very valuable. And the married man will be calm - his wife will not take it out of the depths of the closet and will not even guess that her husband is immensely happy because of the unexpected surprise.
Souvenirs and accessories
But this must be approached with caution. Any item brought home is unlikely to go unnoticed by the watchful eye of the wife. But even here you can cheat.
What you need for work. A man does not have to take everything home - he can use the gift at the service. Does a wife often run to work with her infidel? Most likely no. She doesn't know what he has on his desk—whether there's some cool trinket or a cool ballpoint pen for signatures.
What you need for a hobby. Many wives are annoyed that a man spends time on hobbies instead of spending time with his family, so they do not pay attention to new little things. She won’t notice new gear from a fisherman, a set of tools in a car enthusiast’s garage, or sports paraphernalia from a football fan or athlete.
Just what you need to relax. Many men appreciate good alcohol and coffee. Such a gift can be brought home and explained as a “bribe” or gratitude from the client if his work is relevant (for example, he is a doctor or holds some kind of “necessary” position, albeit a small one).
Something that can be replenished. Men can be absent-minded and confused. They lose umbrellas, scarves, and clothing accessories. Well, why shouldn't he make up for what he lost? The gift may be justified - either the wife will not notice the substitution, or the man may say that he himself bought the same thing that he is used to.
Good options? Any thing completely unnoticed by his wife will be dear to a man as a memory of his beloved woman. And again, your attentiveness is nice that this gift is appropriate - for a birthday, New Year or some other holiday.
Gifts for meetings
These are gifts that he will use at your home and leave there. For example, he lives a double life and often visits you. So what are these gifts?
Clothes and shoes. Does he have slippers or a robe? Surely it is inconvenient for him to walk around in a snow-white service shirt and socks. He must have something of his own in your house?
Perfume and shaving accessories. Although men do not like soap and snout products as gifts, they are still needed. Only they must be identical in smell to his daily perfume.
Intimate things. You must understand that a lover is, first of all, the best sexual partner, so giving something unusual for mutual sex will be very appropriate and intriguing.
With such gifts you will once again prove to your married lover how dear he is to you, and you are always waiting for him at home, without cheating on him. After all, everything the owner needs is in plain sight.
When the breakup comes
Such a gift will be appropriate if you still have a good relationship after breaking up. For example, if it is associated with a change of residence in another city.
Separating forever, a man may want to have something in memory of you. What can you suggest:
Some personal thing of yours, like a fetish. But nothing sexual or suspicious. It could even be an anniversary coin that he won’t spend, or a button from your blouse that he will keep in his fishing gear. Well, you never know why there is a button for fishing, my wife doesn’t understand these bells and whistles.
Some kind of talisman or amulet. It could be just an icon, a keychain or a small incomprehensible trinket that fits in the same fishing box. The main thing is to choose the right words to explain the meaning of this gift - for good luck, for happiness, and this talisman will take care of it far away.
But it’s best to ask the man himself - what he himself would like to receive in memory of you, so that it would be pleasant and safe for him. Like a piece of you. Then you definitely can’t go wrong with a gift.
