Today on the agenda is a very important question: “Why do men cheat on their wives but don’t leave?” This causes serious scandals and breakdowns in relationships. It is very difficult to survive, understand and forgive; starting a relationship from scratch without looking back at what happened is even more difficult. Today we will talk about the reasons for adultery. This will help you recognize the warning signs of trouble and take action in time. In fact, betrayal is not the end of a relationship; you just need to find the strength for a frank conversation and the desire to go through this difficult period together.
Family relationships
When young people get married, it seems to them that happiness will last forever. But a year passes, then another, minor quarrels accumulate, and the first disappointments appear. The partner no longer looks so ideal. What is important for a man is the feeling of a quiet, safe harbor, a reliable berth. This is an explanation of why men cheat on their wives, but it is not stability, special status, reliability, warmth and comfort of home. And a mistress is an adventure that ends well. Going to her means ruining your life and starting to build again, from scratch. At the same time, the man understands that, having become a wife, his mistress will lose the special charm that is so attractive today.
Cheating is a complex phenomenon that can have many causes. Often a man does not stop loving his wife, he still wants a relationship with her. He diligently hides an affair on the side, is ashamed of it, but cannot resist the temptation. Let's look at the main reasons why men cheat on their wives but don't leave.
Experts' opinion
Experts cite physiology as one of the very first reasons. Men are polygamous by nature, they crave sexual variety and a large number of partners. Society taboos such desires, promoting marital fidelity, but instincts. This explains why men cheat on their wives, but do not leave. They are biologically programmed to need to leave as many offspring as possible, and for this they need to have many partners. But this is not the only reason. According to Western sociologists, 99% of betrayals are committed simply because of banal boredom and the monotony of life. There are a number of other reasons that push a man to do this, we will talk about them later.
Major changes
A painfully familiar situation. Before marriage, a woman came to dates with perfect hair and manicure, monitored her diet and weight, and now walks around the house in a stretched T-shirt. This is especially true for those couples where the woman does not work. Housewives are more often prone to depression due to monotony and household routine, and for a man there is nothing worse than coming home to a woman sitting gloomy like a cloud in a shabby robe. Of course, family relationships play a big role. Human psychology is such that the more attention one person pays to another, the more warmth and affection he receives in return. Therefore, if a man, instead of looking for entertainment on the side, pays compliments more often, invites his wife on dates and gives gifts, the greater the chance of seeing the shine of loving eyes again, a romantic dinner and a new dress on his beloved.
Nobody understands me
Indeed, very often men who cheat on their wives say that they do not understand them. But in fact it sounds strange, as if a woman would be able to completely unravel his mysterious nature from the first meeting. The point is that you need to patiently build relationships in the family. Human psychology is such that only primary love is given to us in advance, due to a hormonal surge. Then you will have to make efforts for true love to come. To do this, you need to learn to communicate, listen and hear, solve problems within the family, talk through everything that does not suit you. Then you won’t have to look for consolation on the side.
Excitement, risk, feeling of novelty
The psychology of a cheating man is such that he feels like a hunter at this moment. Ancient instincts awaken, a pleasant feeling of danger and violation of prohibitions. All this tickles the nerves, excites the imagination, and gives amazing sensations. This is akin to drug intoxication: when the fuse wears off, you want to get it back. However, the sensations become dull and you need to look for something new, brighter, and so on ad infinitum. A happy family is one in which spouses are able to find new sensations within their own relationships.
You need to work on relationships
Psychologists believe that every woman can support the spark of passion in the family. Besides, this is her direct task. This is necessary not only for men; monotony and everyday life are destructive for both partners. New underwear and clothes should appear in a woman’s wardrobe regularly; a bad man is one who, without providing for his family, demands that his wife be well-groomed. And you can come up with a lot of ways to revive your former passion. Invite your spouse to a rented apartment, leaving the children in the care of their grandmother. Believe me, a happy family is worth the effort. A romantic dinner and erotic massage, signs of attention - these are all tools that can be used to “prevent” infidelity. But psychologists say that there is the most important and reliable remedy: before entering the house after work, stop for a minute. You need to take a deep breath and exhale at least 5 times, while mentally saying goodbye to work, current problems and worries. Imagine the image of your beloved man, and the way you saw him in your happiest moments. Do you want there to be more such moments? Try to feel again the feelings that you experienced then, smile and enter the house.
Cheating without explanation
The psychology of a cheating man is quite complex. Sometimes he himself cannot explain why he is so drawn to the left. There seem to be no obvious prerequisites, everything is fine at home, but still he stubbornly spends time and money looking for a new relationship. Perhaps he got married too early, and it seems to him that he has not yet had time to walk up. Or the call of ancient instincts forces him again and again to take the path of a hunter and gatherer. In any case, women can recognize such a “macho” even at the beginning of a relationship. Just watch how he behaves on the street and indoors, where there are many beautiful women. If even now, when there is ardent passion between you, he still tries to hit on other young ladies, it will only get worse.
Just sex
As already mentioned, men are polygamous by nature. It is not so important what kind of figure a woman has - if she appears naked in front of a man every day, then she ceases to worry him. This object has been conquered, it's time to move on. Not all researchers agree with this statement, but nevertheless many adhere to this point of view. If a man is monogamous, it is only because he realizes that friendship and love are more important things than a casual relationship on the side.
What is the purpose of cheating
Why do men cheat? For them, sex and love are two big differences. A man can love his wife and have sexual relations with other females. More often these are not permanent, but one-time meetings. This separation of love and sex allows a man to easily change and not experience it. Although the latter is questionable. Guilt appears later and is not caused by the fact of sex itself, but by the possible consequences. What will happen if the wife finds out? Will a random passion pursue him? There is also a risk of contracting one of the sexually transmitted diseases. There is a chance that, having carefully weighed everything that he received from his adventure, the man will forever become a monogamous family man. So that it’s not too late, even before going on a date, imagine the worst-case scenario. For example, your casual friend will tell his wife what happened. The fact of betrayal, presented in this way, is very difficult to survive. Is it worth it?
Rights and obligations of the parties
It is very interesting to know what percentage of men cheat. Various sources report figures from 70 to 90% of the entire male population of the Earth. Impressive, isn't it? It has to do with men having sex. It is much higher than that of women. In addition, the load on the fair floor is very high. A woman works at work, performs a large number of household duties, and takes care of children. As a result, he gets very tired in the evening. You don’t have the strength for intimacy, but your husband, bored at the computer, looks to the left? It is obvious that the problem has become so urgent that it is time to solve it. Sit down at the negotiating table. A man complains about lack of sex? Okay, write down on paper all your responsibilities related to home, family, children, and invite him to take exactly half. Ask if he agrees with the prospect of fully providing for the family so that you are at home and have time to complete your homework before he arrives? Divide all the hardships of the family burden in half, and it will be easier for both.
How to understand that a man is cheating
It's actually not difficult at all. Just watch your significant other every day. If a man begins to regularly stay late at work, vaguely explaining the reasons, he often has things to do on weekends, and even on holidays urgent assignments appear, then it’s worth taking a closer look. Does he carry his phone everywhere, does he go into another room if he gets a call, does he get nervous if you answer the phone? All these are indirect signs that he has something to hide. Analyze your budget, are there any more unplanned expenses in it?
What to do if a man cheats
There is no point in starting scandals and quarrels, even if you are 100% sure that you are right in your suspicions. Another mistake would be to try to find his mistress and see who he exchanged you for, or to take revenge. Often he also decides to change in revenge - it is also better to postpone this step. For now, you only need one thing - to speak out and work through your emotions. A friend or professional psychologist is suitable for this. Only after experiencing the first shock can you think about what decision to make. Divorce is not always the best solution; in some cases, you can survive the betrayal and continue the relationship. The help of a family psychologist will not be superfluous.
Let's sum it up
We looked at the main reasons for betrayal. Now you know how many men cheat on their wives. Statistics are merciless; they list almost the entire male population as ladies' men. In fact, this is not so; most of them, just like women, value their relationships and are not ready to risk them for the sake of a momentary infatuation. In any case, forewarned is forearmed. If you have an idea about the causes and signs of adultery, then you will do everything possible to avoid it.
I welcome girls and women from the vast expanses of the Internet to my FitKis Club blog. For those who don’t know, my name is Vitaly Okhrimenko, and today I decided to take greater responsibility for my frankness and open to you a man’s point of view on the question of why men cheat. Although maybe not a question, but a problem. For whom... Let's make ourselves some coffee, sit back and let's go!
When I began to study the existing materials on the topic of male infidelity on the Russian Internet, I was horrified by the fact that most of the topics about the motives for male infidelity were written by women. This is absurd, this is how I should write about the problems of the menstrual cycle. Of course, a woman, especially a female psychologist, can study the materials and know the theoretical side of the issue. But she will never understand with her soul what polygamy is and what engine of male infidelity is key.
In fact, the psychology of male and female infidelity is very different. Today I’m launching a section that we’ll look into together. In the foreseeable future, I will definitely prepare publications about female infidelity and the difference between male and female infidelity. I advise you to subscribe to blog updates so as not to miss out.
I want to warn you right away: many girls won't like what they read today. The true reasons for male infidelity can cause a lot of contradictions with the familiar world that women consider real. Our world is full of lies and falsehoods; behavior patterns developed by society and instilled in us from childhood initially contradict male nature. Sex with one woman all his life is as contradictory for a man as these lines are contradictory for every woman.
Don't be offended, dear ladies, but today rose-colored glasses will be broken by the laws of nature. If your browser is still open, please familiarize yourself with the first and most important motivator of male infidelity, whose name is polygamy.
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Why do men cheat?
Yes, nature has long divided us into males and females. And no matter how developed our society is today, no matter how sincerely we want to move away from animal instincts, it is instincts that lie in the depths of most of our actions.
A man, every man without exception, does not need a mistress. We need LOVERS. And the more, the better. We shouldn’t blame the guys here – nature decided everything for us. And when a guy is indignant with his girlfriend, who tells him about the scoundrel Kostya, who dared to cheat on Svetka with an insidious librarian - he is a hypocrite! A psychologically faithful man is, first of all, a myth, a myth generated by women themselves.
Please don't misunderstand me. I’m not saying that there aren’t men who don’t cheat, there are, and not too few. But every faithful person wants to be unfaithful. And you shouldn’t scold your boyfriend for sneaking glances at the beauty he likes; instincts take precedence even over morality.
The problem is that every man contains millions of sperm, constantly ready for action. A woman has one egg, and physiologically the woman is ready to receive birth data from one partner. Guys need, purely on a biological level, to impregnate as many women as possible. This is the instinct of survival, the instinct of procreation. The more females a male fertilizes, the greater the chance of his species to survive. Nature demands, nothing can be done. And every sex, even with three condoms, is perceived on an instinctive level as fertilization. And every time nature rewards the guy for fertilization, for transmission with a kind of colorful orgasm. Which, by the way, women experience much less often. In addition, active males have a better functioning immune system, higher energy potential, and better health and mood.
There are many areas of life where a man can realize himself. Whether it’s a career, sports activity, social causes... you never know. But no success will be complete without success with women. Yes, yes, and the share of every man’s success lies in the unconscious desire to be successful with lovely ladies. And no matter how successful a male is among other males, he will not be able to feel fulfilled without other females appraising his success.
But the moral tricks of society, along with the strong character and correct behavior of a woman, can keep a man from the basic male mission: fertilizing all the females that come his way.
Now I am not trying to absolve us of responsibility for treason. We dig deeper and find out what pushes men to such meanness.
Why men cheat on women: 20 main reasons
Please immediately pay attention to the fact that the question of why men cheat now will be given a male perspective. Some of the reasons described in this article are quite similar to each other. Some, on the contrary, are completely different from each other. I tried to describe all possible reasons from a MALE POINT OF VIEW.
The wedding flew like plywood over Moscow...
Instead of a sweet, pleasantly purring girl, an always grumbling, never made-up woman wanders around our kitchen, who is no joy either in the kitchen or in bed. It used to be like this: put on makeup, dress provocatively, make eyes. And now what: curlers on my head and the smell of cakes from my clothes. In addition, she is constantly missing something, doesn’t like something. It either saws or eats away the baldness. As it turns out, she doesn’t know how to cook, but she demands be healthy!
When a woman ceases to be an object of adoration, then there will certainly be another to fill this role.
The object of conquest has disappeared
And it also happens that a girl still remains beautiful and smart, but she has already been conquered. We men are first and foremost conquerors. We need to conquer, conquer, hunt. And when the prey is already sitting obediently in the enclosure, there is no need to achieve it, then we become not interested.
Judge for yourself what we should do without wine
I guess I’m wrong, alcohol intoxication should have been the #1 reason! According to statistics, 80% of all betrayals occur “under the influence.” A reunion, a corporate event at work, a christening, a wedding, a birthday...you never know where a drunk man may end up without his woman. And it’s not only girls who are weak when they’re drunk...
By thumb
He is used to charming and seducing girls, for him this is a familiar way of life. And if only one woman appears in the life of such a man, then he will still act by inertia - seducing and charming. I would call this type of men chronic bachelors, who, even if they are defective married family men with three children, will remain bachelors at heart and live according to their usual way of life, according to the established pattern.
Dissatisfaction with a woman
In fact, this is a more complete disclosure of the first reason (see above). It is easier for a man to resist temptations when a woman satisfies him in everything. It's not just about sex. A sweet, affectionate wife who will cook delicious food, who will listen and support, who will cheer you up, relax you and take you to the bedroom from all your worries and worries - such a woman will hardly be ignored. But, due to emotionality, due to everyday difficulties, due to various crises and difficulties, it is sometimes very difficult for a wife to adjust herself to the right position.
Often a man is simply ready to run away from a nagging wife with a systematic migraine to a cute sexy babe, and even if she is interested in him only for money or only for bed, even if she is three times dumber and twice as uglier than his beloved wife, it doesn’t matter to a man. A man perceives a mistress as a kind of victory; how he achieved this victory does not matter. The winners are not judged, as you know.
They assert themselves in their own and other people’s eyes.
There is a type of man who by nature is a kind of Alpha male, a chronic Casanova. As I wrote above, all men will be unhappy without success with a woman (we don’t take non-traditional women into account). Only one person has enough success with 1-2 girls, while for another, give him a new victim every week. For them, a quantitative indicator is much more important than a qualitative one; without this, this type of man does not feel like a man. For this type of girl, girls can be compared to firewood in a fire: if you don’t periodically add fuel to the fire, it will go out.
Psychologists claim that psychological problems lie behind this reason... today I will neither agree nor dispute with this. Someday I’ll make a psychological interpretation of the reasons for male infidelity, but today we take it for granted.
Spoiled with opportunity
Most of the male population does not cheat simply because they do not have the opportunity. Here, first of all, economic and time factors play a role. Do you know why successful and rich men more often have mistresses? Because they have such an opportunity: it’s easier for them to find time for this (working late, urgent business trip), and they don’t have to choose between buying their son a bicycle or taking their mistress to the southern coast of Crimea. They can afford both.
Adrenaline and courage
Every betrayal is, first of all, a vivid sensation. Being caught is terrible, but balancing on the edge, feeling the risk, the adrenaline is a completely different matter. You can’t even imagine how much this feeling is lacking in everyday life for some accountant or caretaker. Life is too calm and measured, stable and the same. Lovely adventures bring action to life and make you feel like James Bond, with codes, appearances and passwords. Thanks to cheating, life stops being boring.
Romance in the eggs began to play
The flower-bouquet period of a relationship is the most pleasant, most interesting and intriguing time in a relationship. Everything is so romantic, you can hear music in the background that is not really there, all the colors become brighter, you feel a butterfly in your stomach and all that. Unfortunately, this goes away over time for absolutely all couples. In search of these same sensations, men can find their way to the left.
The danger of this reason is that a man driven by a sense of romance is capable of any nonsense. Throw yourself into what is called a pool headlong and even leave the family.
Breath of fresh air
This is one of the most harmless reasons for male infidelity. Gray ordinary life, sharing a bed with one woman, the same problems and worries periodically become very boring. And the love affair becomes something like a breath of fresh air in a stuffy city poisoned by carbon monoxide and car exhaust. This reason is harmless because, after taking a breath of air, the man returns to the familiar haunted city, but he already feels much better there - there is no more oxygen starvation.
I am vengeful and my revenge is cruel
Unfortunately, we are little people, vile and insidious creatures. Often a husband has something to take revenge on his wife for: for a shirt ruined by an iron, for a life spoiled by a bad character... Well, or in response to betrayal. This is such a vile way of the triumph of justice.
The will of chance
A damaging relationship is simply an accident. Well, the stars aligned, the devil got me confused. Sometimes a man is not inclined to cheat at all, but his polygamous nature pushed him to this act that tarnishes his reputation. Which, by the way, he can sincerely repent of!
Borscht is borscht, but I also want soup
It happens like this: the wife is beautiful, smart, cooks well, allows herself to be constantly conquered - in general, she’s all so melting, but he, the viper, still went to the left. The woman asks a righteous question: “What have you been missing, you ungrateful bastard?” But he throws up his hands and doesn’t know how to explain that next to the imperfect one you want the ideal, but next to the ideal, on the contrary, you want the imperfect. I just want something new and that’s it.
Debauchery, debauchery, once in the mouth, once in...
Not all couples know how to satisfy each other in bed. As a rule, men love looseness, but due to various cockroaches in their heads, they may not accept this looseness from their beloved wife. Love, devotion, all the best remains at home. And another woman, who is ready to realize various erotic fantasies of a particular man, gets his dark side of the moon. Here, of course, it is fair to blame the man.
But it also happens that the wife or girlfriend herself is too constrained and is not ready to become a depraved baby. In this case, the jury is ready to acquit the prodigal husband.
Influence of friends
I don’t know exactly where this stereotype came from, but it’s the custom in our society that a woman walking around is a bitch (sorry, I can’t afford foul language), but a guy walking around is cool! The influence of society and the influence of friends can play a role on the path to the left.
I want attention
Due to various life and family crises, former lovers, and now just spouses, pay too little attention to each other. They are not interested in each other’s problems, they neglect the interests of others. Lack of attention is often the cause of female infidelity, but it can also have a very direct impact on male infidelity.
Ex-love
This cause of male infidelity has a high degree of risk for family ties. Rarely does the first girl become a wife; more often, a man had other girls before her. With some he managed to realize his masculinity and the page has long been turned, and with some there were some unrealized possibilities left.
One day, when your relationship with him is going through another crisis or even consists of these crises, he may remember his old love. Moreover, as a rule, I remember that girl with whom there were some ambiguities and the page never turned, remaining somewhere in a hidden folder with bookmarks.
This is the way to relax
What can I say, life can be too cruel and does not give us time to rest. This reason is typical for those men who work too much and have time to lie on the couch in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. The body cannot live in tension forever; it needs to relax sometimes. This damaging connection can become the very source of inspiration for relaxation. This reason does not pose a danger to marriage because, having relaxed on the side, the man returns to the family, again full of strength and energy.
Filling the voids
As a rule, we men believe that we fill the gaps of attention, love and affection. But in fact, this is a replenishment of one’s own unfulfillment and unsuccessful life. Success for a woman is the same success, and if you haven’t achieved any other success, you need to somehow please your own ego.
You are my boredom, my boredom...
Well, here it’s even more banal - the boredom and monotony of family life. Men are hunters, men are adventurers, men love adventure. Hunting and family, adventure and career, adventure and wife - you have to admit, these words don’t go well together.
After all, how interesting it was to climb to her third floor at night on tied sheets. Or how exciting it was to kiss on the roof of a high-rise building among the lights of the city at night. Another adventure was making love on the school playground equipment. Alas, with a stable, measured life comes the boringness of life.
Conclusion
I just ask: don’t think that we are all such idiots and unfaithful and change everything. As I said above, not everything, but we want to change everything. And don’t think that we don’t tend to feel guilty for our crimes. We feel guilt, just as we feel it (not always, though, but it happens). Sometimes we are overcome by a wave of self-flagellation, a feeling of betrayal. But what happens after this? And after that, as a rule, we begin to appreciate our beloved wife more (oh how!).
Girls and women, know: male infidelity is bad, but not very scary. Even systematic male infidelities with different girls may not be harmful to the marriage, unless, of course, the wife finds out about them.
The worst thing about most betrayals is the feeling of being betrayed. The trick here is that the man who cheated may not consider his action as a betrayal. He also loves his wife very much and values her very much. I just went on a spree once - a second time and that’s it, I gave nature its due without the intention of betraying it.
What you really should be afraid of is when a man takes a mistress. This can already be safely considered a betrayal, and this is precisely the risk that he can give up everything and leave.
When I decided to write on this topic, I thought that I would write one article and then we would examine the issue of male infidelity. No matter how it was, as soon as I dug deeper, I realized that without a hundred grams it would be impossible to figure it out at all. So, dear girls, subscribe to blog updates and stay tuned for new publications. This is just an introductory article to the issue of human infidelity. After some short time, I plan to examine the issue as much as possible and release a whole series of publications. I assure you it will be interesting!
We will analyze the motives of both male and female infidelity. We will understand why people need lovers, how to prevent the tragedy of betrayal in the family, and what to do if this disgrace has already visited your life. And most importantly (!) we will try to understand whether it is worth forgiving betrayal. The topic is interesting, the topic is relevant in the modern world, sometimes even topical.
Well, once again I apologize if I wrote anything wrong. I tried to give a man’s opinion regarding the question of why men cheat, which may fundamentally not coincide with the world that you see from your female side. Please express your dissatisfaction and opinions regarding the article in the comments.
Thank you for your attention! Until new, exciting meetings.
With wishes of fidelity and love, Vitaly Okhrimenko!
In this article, I want to tell you, woman, why men cheat or can cheat on you.
This article is very closely related to this one: Be sure to read that too! Study it. Be aware. Take this advice and put it into practice.
REASON #1. Lack of quality regular sex
The very first, most basic reason why a man can cheat is the lack of quality, regular sex. Woman, understand, realize that the harmonious development of relationships is possible provided that you have constant, high-quality sex. Without sex - 100% no.
Sex for us men is a basic need. We are men - that’s how we are made. We are created this way. We are animals. Wild animals. It's built into us. Lust, debauchery, mating, etc. It's inside us. In short, I'm telling you, as a man, sex is important. Sex is needed all the time. And the sex must be awesome (cool), so that the roof is blown away, so that the man gets high and gets maximum pleasure.
You must satisfy your beast, your man - 100%. Not 50% or even 99%, 100% - this is something you must learn once and for all. You understand, if you don’t give something to your man, your beast, what he really wants, he will find it on the side. Another woman will give it to him. He will give you what you did not give. Do you need it? No, so please satisfy me 100%.
A man must always want you! Constantly. Want. Fuck! You must excite him. Excite. He should blow your mind. If this does not happen, and there is no regular, high-quality sex, there will be no relationship with this man. Dot. Therefore, either you solve this problem, or wait for separation/betrayal/quarrels, etc. and so on. 100% guarantee for you.
IMPORTANT: at the very beginning of a relationship, everything is new - sex, kissing, touching, spoken words, etc. and so on. but, over time, it all loses its charm and its colors and you will become bored with each other (even in terms of sex). So, it is very important to avoid this boredom. It is important not to be idle.
It is important to urgently get rid of it (boredom, monotony, etc.). Relationships are constant work, both on the part of the man and on the part of the woman. Understand? If you don’t have this constant work, you won’t be able to maintain a harmonious, full-fledged relationship.
If the sex is not good...
Woman, I have a question for you. Do you consider yourself sexy? That's right, a real sexy girl?! Look, here's your task, go to the mirror, undress completely naked and look at yourself.
What do you see there? Do you consider yourself awesome? Sexy? Are you enjoying yourself? From your body? Just let’s adequately assess the situation, honestly, because this is important for you in the first place.
In case you are shy about something, you are embarrassed about your body, you think that you have some kind of shortcomings, etc. and so on. - We men will immediately feel this during sex.
Do you know why we will feel this? Because you convey it with yourself. If you don’t like yourself, you’re not one hundred percent happy with yourself, if you’re shy about something, etc. you will not be completely relaxed during sex, you will not be able to completely relax and get maximum pleasure from sex.
Because of this, the man will also not be able to enjoy it. A man will see this in you, he will feel that something is wrong, in general, this atmosphere is transferred to him. Understand? As a result, there will be no quality sex. And if there is no sex and quality sex, there is no relationship.
Lack of sex or poor quality sex is one of the first reasons for cheating. A man will go to someone who will give him cool, awesome sex. The kind of sex where his tower will be demolished. And great sex will be given by the one who gets high on herself, who is liberated, open to one hundred percent. Who is feminine and sexy.
This is what I want to convey to you:
- If you don't love yourself, then how can a man love you?
- If you don't respect yourself, how will someone (a man) respect you?
- If you don't value yourself, how will someone (a man) value you?
Do you understand what I want to convey to you? If you don't like something about yourself, how should a man like you? Correct it. Instantly. A man must want you! Constantly. Want. Fuck! You must excite him. The man is a beast. Animal. He needs a woman! Female.
You shouldn't be ashamed of anything, yourself, positions, the process, sex itself, etc. and so on. otherwise don't expect anything good. 100% guarantee for you. In many ways, a woman should feel her man, what he likes, how he wants, what is best for him, etc. and so on. and take initiative.
There must be variety. Necessarily. In different places. In different poses. At different times. Clothes, stockings, underwear, etc. also plays a role. In short, there should be no monotony. Something new and different with new colors. Surprises, romance. On everything everything and everything again.
Don't forget, relationships are constant work. At both sides. There will be no work - the end.
REASON #2. You act like a MAN 🙁
Now this is very fashionable and popular, all these strong independent women, careerists, work, I do everything myself, I don’t need anything, I don’t need help, I decide everything myself, I control everything, well, in general, in many ways dominant behavior, behavior man. Only you are not a man, you are a woman. And in the end, it turns out that you are a hybrid, woman-man. Do you think this is normal? Not at all.
Strong independent women = not happy. What is the use of the fact that she (or you) has achieved everything there herself or will achieve it when she (or you) will be unhappy in the end?
What's the point of everything if you're not happy? A? Woman. Answer my question. What's the point? You were born a girl. You're not a man. Understand. Your strength is in your femininity. Understand and realize this.
When you behave like a man, you lose yourself as a woman, your femininity. Understand? You're only making it worse. Be yourself. Be a woman. Allow yourself to be happy. It is most important.
We men don't like hybrids (women-men). It's horrible. A man needs a woman. Understand? A man doesn’t need a man (ugh, blah), a man needs you as a woman. A woman is inspiration, strength, energy for a man. And you need to pump up the femininity in yourself!
You women are a huge motivation for us. For your sake, I want to move mountains, achieve success in life, give gifts, make surprises, etc. and so on. everything is largely for your sake. For everything to go well for you, you must be a woman for your man. A source of energy. His inspiration. The rear. By force. Understand that. Understand. A high-ranking man will achieve everything in life (and with the help of your help, your femininity), if he has not already achieved it. Understand? The main thing is the result, you are happy and he is happy. Why do you need to be a man if there is no happiness? Think about it...
When you're on man, you don't let your man feel like a man. In addition, you lose your femininity. Quarrels, scandals, misunderstandings, problems in sex, etc. begin. you're only making things worse. Understand? Only worse! You are a woman and your strength is in your femininity. Understand and you will be happy. Pump up your femininity! Pump up the woman in you. Upgrade!
Reason 3. Monotony, routine, routine, boredom...
The same is one of the most important reasons. Monotony in everything. Got used to it. Bored. We're tired of each other. Boredom. Yearning. Nothing new and nothing like this happens in new colors. This puts an end to it. Relationships are constant work on both sides. And men. And women. You cannot forget about this. Dot. Even if the man is already yours, or vice versa, the man is your woman, you need to work. In a relationship, everything should not be boring, everything banal and everything predictable, otherwise failure, separation, quarrels. betrayal, etc. end.
Reason 4. The guy didn’t have enough fun (not related to you)
Woman, understand. The man is an animal. Wild animal. Animal. You can be the best for him, in everything, but he just hasn’t worked up yet and wants other women, wants quantity, i.e. wants to fuck to his heart's content, to fuck as many females as possible. Understand? This has nothing to do with you.
I’m telling you, you can be just perfect in everything, but if the man hasn’t worked up, nothing will come of it. You just chose the wrong partner, there’s nothing you can do about him. This is why it is very important (for you women) to choose the right partner for yourself. Not to be another one on the list...
For a relationship you need to take a man. Ideally, a finished product. Wealthy, with money, etc. so that the risk in life is minimal. A man without money is not a man. Dot. The main function of a man is to get money. That's all. If a man cannot get money, what kind of man is he?
There is a lot more that needs to be explored about a man in order to understand what he is. A man (high-ranking) has the following qualities: courage, responsibility, powerful/strong inner state, courage, leadership, and much more.
Remember: a high-ranking man needs an equally high-ranking woman. You must match him. For example, if a man strives for success, develops in everything, works, etc. but you are a woman, no, you don’t develop in any way - this is the end. One hundred percent. You understand, a man and a woman must correspond to each other. Therefore, when choosing a partner, common interests, outlook on life, level of intelligence, etc. are important; in general, each person is in many ways looking for something similar to himself.
You play sports, you eat healthy, and in general you have a healthy lifestyle = but your man doesn’t, he only has a beer, a cigarette, etc. (or vice versa) = no relationship here is possible in principle. You can’t agree when you have different values and everything is different. It is forbidden.
Well, I’ll tell you this, you will feel a real worthy man (a high-ranking man).
In the vast majority of cases, women choose women with balls between their legs. Boys, guys, lads, etc. but not like a man. This is one of the most common mistakes. Because a decent man is hard to find. It's very difficult. Well, really, seriously.
High-ranking men = very few. These are in huge short supply. Low-ranking ones are a dime a dozen, which is why most people come across them. If you want a high-ranking man, you become a high-ranking woman yourself. And so, each creature has a pair, and they receive what they are.
In addition, I want to say that all women are too emotional. Especially the young ones. Oh my god. For you, emotions, feelings, that's just everything. Give you emotions (feelings), feed you with promises and that’s it, you naive fuck. Beauty, feelings (emotions) are cool. I understand, but all these feelings and emotions end over time, sooner or later, a year will pass, for example, and that’s it. And you just wow how you were with this ragamuffin imbecile, who no one can even call him, but fucked you for a whole year.
You need to choose a man very carefully. Not in the way that the absolute majority of women choose, because the absolute majority themselves are low-ranking females and receive the same males.
Reason 5. Lack of attention to a man
If you forget about your man, don’t expect anything good.
That's all there is to it. A man should feel that you need him. That without him, you can’t do it in any way and you can’t do it at all. Not a fucking day. That he is the main one among you among everyone. Number 1.
You can mind your own business, you have friends there, hobbies, entertainment, in general, you live your life to the fullest as an individual, but at the same time a man must feel that you need him. If a man feels that he is not so needed or not needed at all, I’m telling you - don’t expect anything good.
There will be scandals, quarrels, betrayal - and there will be someone who will warm him up, who will be there, give what you did not give, give this affection, tenderness, attention, care, support, faith, will be nearby, etc. understand?
Do you need this? Do you need cheating? You don't need it, so don't let this crap happen.
A nuance: here it is also important to observe the measure (limit).
There should not be your oversaturation (excess), where you are always like a dog on its hind legs, and vice versa, there should not be a lack (deficit) where you are neither present nor present. There must be a golden mean. It is important.
Reason 6. You stopped taking care of yourself, “you scored a bolt”
You are a woman. And your strength is in your femininity. Your beauty, external, your bodily forms, etc. = very important to us. You should be forever desirable and sexy for your man.
This point is related to point #1. (sex). If you don't excite your man = it's over.
You can't stop looking after yourself. Care. Take care of your beauty. It is forbidden. You are a woman. Do not forget about it. And don’t think that if the man is yours, then you can relax and that’s it, hammer in the bolt. No!
And none of your excuses will help you, watch yourself constantly, this is only in your interests. This relationship is a constant effort on the part of both. Never, never forget this.
A man, by the way, should do the same (on a regular basis), but the article is for women...
Very often women lie to themselves. But everything is ok with me. I don't need to change anything, etc. woman, evaluate yourself truthfully. If it’s really ok, you plow, work, watch, etc. - you’re smart, well done, if not, work hard, don’t let it go, never. And remember: there is no limit to perfection.
Reason 7. Frequent quarrels
Quarrels kill relationships. It is a fact. To relieve stress, a man can easily go to his mistress. Do you need it? You don’t need it, so less brain, drink less, have more mutual understanding, trust, work on your relationships, meet each other’s needs and work in general.
Reason 8. Long separation
A relationship is when you are close to each other, figuratively speaking, “all the time.”
Long distance is not a relationship. There can be no long distance relationship. This is bullshit. Next to a high-ranking male = many women. Competition (struggle) for him. If a woman is not around for long enough, cheating is very, very likely. The man is a beast. Animal. He won’t last long with unmet needs. And in general, betrayal at this point is also possible on the part of a woman, so no long separations on anyone’s part. Relationships are together, side by side.
Reason 9. You act like a mother, not a wife.
Many women have the scourge of raising a man.
Woman, understand, you are not a mother, you are a wife! YOU are his woman. You don't need to educate a man. If you try to educate him, there will be quarrels, scandals, etc. And quarrels are not good because betrayal is possible. Comprendo? And in order not to educate - take a man right away, a finished product, and not a mother’s sniffle or a goofball. Take a ready, worthy man, and for this you need to think with your head and choose carefully.
Reason 10. Constant jealousy
Woman, remember: if a high-ranking male is next to you = he is with you, rejoice.
Because he chose you! Or he could have chosen any other one. Understand? Therefore, there is no need for jealousy, as you will only show your lack of self-confidence (your low-ranking status). And a high-ranking one needs a corresponding female. Have no doubt, a man will always look at other women. But he sleeps with you. He's fucking you. Builds a relationship with you. Lives with you. Etc.
Don’t beat yourself up and don’t throw tantrums and quarrels over nothing. This won't end well.
This doesn’t mean that you can relax your buns and that’s it, he will be with you forever, no! Relationships are constant work, constant. Watch yourself. Develop yourself. Constantly. Be a woman. Feminine. Develop as a person. Meet a man's needs to the fullest. Etc. and there will be happiness.
There is another 11th reason: drunk, but I won’t even consider that. A high-ranking male either does not drink at all or in very small quantities. And with low-ranking ones (by the way) this can be a reality.
Making a conclusion
- Reason 1. Lack of quality regular sex
- Reason 2. You act like a man (no femininity)
- Reason 3. Monotony, routine, routine
- Reason 4. The man didn’t have enough fun (the woman is with you, this has nothing to do with it)
- Reason 5. Lack of attention to a man
- Reason 6. You stopped constantly looking after yourself, “you’ve hammered the screw.”
- Reason 7. Frequent quarrels
- Reason 8. Long separation
- Reason 9. You act like a mother, not a wife.
- Reason 10. Constant jealousy
I'm sure now you know why men cheat or can cheat. Take the information into account, and the chances of prospering long-lasting, harmonious and happy relationships are high. Good luck to you! Bye.
Best regards, administrator.
As a psychologist, I often hear women’s questions: tell me, do all men cheat on their women? No, not all of them. Only those who stop truly appreciating, respecting and loving their woman. Moreover, it’s not about the woman, but about us, men. Boredom, revenge, midlife crisis, routine, status, adventure and risk, the desire to assert oneself, polygamy and much, much more... Type in the Google search bar “why a man cheats” - and you will receive a huge number of links that will not only tell you why a man is cheating on you, but they will also give you exact instructions on what to do if this happens. At the same time, advice can be the complete opposite of each other.
Suspensoriofinanceiro.com
Each case is individual, I will share the conclusions that I myself came to using examples of cases from my practice:
Story No. 1. Kirill, 44 years old
“How can she sit at home and do nothing for 20 years?” I have been in serious business since I was 18, and my level, like the level of the people around me, is constantly growing. I am surrounded by successful, strong, beautiful women who are achieving success in life. And I'm really attracted to them. If you put them next to my wife, who is only interested in children and TV series, then you will understand me..."
Infidelity often appears in a family where the man reaches a high level of income and status, and the wife remains at the entry level. The points of contact and common interests between them are becoming fewer and fewer every year, and as a result there may not be any left at all. The option “to become a wonderful housewife and a faithful rear” deceptively seems ideal, and the woman often turns out to be betrayed and disappointed.
Story No. 2. Veronica, 29 years old
An incident from couples therapy, a wife turns to her husband: “Do you remember, already in the sixth month of my pregnancy, you were staring at a woman in the park? I know that all men have only sex in their heads, just give them freedom, and they will go all out. And only prostitutes work in your bank.”
A huge amount of anger, claims and grievances that women throw out on a man in the form of screams, claims, hysterics are only a consequence of childhood or teenage trauma.
postirke.ru For example, the girl’s father, working in a bank and becoming a big boss, at some point began to openly and constantly cheat on his wife, humiliating and devaluing the family. It ended with him leaving them alone. This severe pain and fear that everything could happen in exactly the same way in her family, in relation to her and her child, provokes emotional breakdowns in the now adult girl.
And here the phenomenon of social psychology begins to work, which is called the “Rosenthal Effect” or “Pygmalion Effect”. The phenomenon is that if, due to your own, often negative, life circumstances and experiences, you expect some action from another person (for example, betrayal), you yourself begin to act in accordance with this belief. And you provoke another person to do it.
Another simple example: a guy cheated on a girl. After some time, she got over it and started a relationship. And if she again, for the second time, has a painful breakup due to betrayal or betrayal, the girl develops an unpleasant algorithm: “At first everything is fine in the relationship, but then something bad will definitely happen.” If this belief becomes firmly entrenched, no matter how wonderful her subsequent relationship with a new young man may be, sooner or later she will begin to convince herself that everything is not as good as it seems to her, and unconsciously take actions that can lead to an unpleasant outcome . Checking your phone, scenes of jealousy in public places, mentions of your ex and the fact that “all men are like that.”
Story No. 3, Christina, 25 years old
“And when I found out that he had a girlfriend, I realized that I needed to save him. After all, the relationship with her began to have a bad influence on him and our family, he became irritable, and it was clear from him that he was feeling guilty.”
Did you start saving him? And who will save you? Why do you always forget about yourself and put yourself at the end of the line?
Low self-esteem, lack of goals and desires, and a strong need for approval also provoke betrayal. Often this is a consequence of growing up in a single-parent family, where the only parent did not provide enough warmth, closeness, or a sense of need.
A child who does not meet the basic set of needs for love and self-respect when he becomes an adult may experience a strong need for this throughout his life. It's like an internal hole that a person tries to close with everything that comes to hand.
v.img.com.ua Story No. 4. Victor, 28 years old
“Sometimes I’m even afraid of my wife, but when communicating with other women I feel that I can trust them. With them I can be who I am, sensitive and vulnerable. And with her, no matter what I say, there is a feeling of tension. It seems that it could “fly” to me at any moment.
Story No. 5. Igor, 30 years old
“When I want to have sex with her, I feel like I’m forcing her to do it. I feel like they are doing me a favor. And over time, the thought of my inferiority begins to appear. It’s like I’m some beggar on the street.”
Both of these cases have one thing in common: if a man does not get what he needs in a relationship - and this is not necessarily sex, it is also communication, trust, care - he will look for it elsewhere. And sooner or later he will find what he is missing.
As you can see, the stories are different. But they have one thing in common: when we talk about cheating, we need to look into the past - both our own and our partner’s, remember the upbringing we received, the negative experiences. This will give you an understanding of what kind of psychological attachments you have formed, what your needs and the needs of your man are.
But it is equally important that you yourself, in trying to satisfy all your partner’s needs, do not lose your significance, do not dissolve in him and do not determine your value only through this relationship. This is what often becomes the reason for your man’s loss of interest and subsequent betrayal.
There are articles that describe in 20 or more points what needs to be done to prevent a man from cheating. But if you try to follow these tips, the question arises: are there such women on the planet in principle? And is it really necessary to become such a superwoman just to be respected? Or is it better to remain yourself?
“So many questions,” you say. This is the task of a psychologist - to ask questions, and not to give advice and teach manipulation, as clients sometimes ask.
Ask yourself more questions, and honestly answering them, build relationships so that your man doesn’t even have the thought of cheating.
Among my friends and clients, there are only two categories of men to whom the word “treason” is alien.
The former, with the help of various psychological techniques and manipulations, “educate” their partners in such a way that for them the very fact of a man’s betrayal no longer seems to be such, but becomes a familiar part of their family life. Behind the outer façade of well-being, every year one can increasingly see the woman’s severe pain, which sooner or later will turn into protracted depression. Such men have always been, are and will be, and you just need to avoid them.
But the second category includes men who, together with their woman, have created and continue to create relationships with respect and love for each other. They understand and complement their strengths and weaknesses well. Their relationship is about joint growth and development. You can “create” such men in your life, it is only important to know about the needs of both parties and never forget about your own value. Try answering one last question: “Who is the most valuable person in your life?” If the answers “husband, mother, child” come to mind, this is incorrect. The most valuable person in your life is yourself.
Elena Kuznetsova, a family psychologist, interpersonal relationship consultant, and director of the dating agency “Me and You,” talks about male infidelity and its causes.
Who cheats
There will definitely be womanizers hanging out from their wives. They are easy to spot even before the wedding. These are men who actively show interest in the opposite sex: some can be seen by the way they treat women - they try to please everyone, some talk a lot, and the “right” things for ladies, some pinch the opposite sex’s soft parts, etc. d. is impossible, and if you marry him and think that he will not walk away from you, then you are very mistaken. True, as the psychologist notes, ladies' men rarely leave their wives for their mistress, since they choose women who are convenient for them as spouses.
Womanizers marry women who either do not notice their adventures or do not pay attention to them. Males prefer the following types of women: the victim, the gray mouse, the suspicious or overly trusting woman. Thus, they provide themselves with a comfortable life: food, clean clothes, home comfort, etc., and have the opportunity to walk “to the left.”
“Womenizers most often do not leave their wives unless they find a rare bitch as their mistress, who begins to manipulate such a man, for which he is absolutely not ready. In the end, he doesn’t get along with his mistress either, because they don’t have the same personalities. Then the womanizer tries to return to the family, promising his wife that he will improve. But this will not happen,” summarizes Elena Kuznetsova.
The second type is men who are tired of everyday life and are looking for variety on the side. As a rule, they do not plan long-term relationships, but it so happens that they often have a long-term relationship with their mistress if the woman satisfies them in sex, on the one hand, but on the other hand, does not pretend to anything.
Both strong men and weak-willed men have extramarital affairs. However, if the former clearly control the situation and from the very beginning “build” a mistress, telling her that they will never get divorced, and can only meet, for example, at lunchtime, then the latter often fall under the influence of a strong woman, and this is fraught with family collapse.
A lover with a strong character manipulates him, forcing him to divorce his wife. She tells the man what to do and how to behave in the family. If he does not heed the advice, then he can call his wife and report that “her husband has fallen in love with someone else.”
Intelligence reduces the risk of cheating
According to Elena Kuznetsova, the relationship between spouses is of enormous importance. Cheating occurs when “everyday life” begins and when romance leaves the relationship, and this does not depend on how long the spouses have lived together, the psychologist is convinced. It happens that a husband begins to go out even a month after the wedding, because during this time the wife has so much time to pester him that the man does not have the strength to endure any longer.
In matters of fidelity, both intellect and social environment play a role.
“If both partners are intelligent, they are less bored with each other, both in bed and in communication, so the risk of cheating is reduced,” says a marriage counselor.
Plus, if people were raised in a complete family, where parents treated each other with respect, then such couples are more loyal. They are more focused on compromise than a man or woman who grew up in a single-parent family.
Reasons for cheating
There are many reasons, and most often they are individual: some are fed up with everyday life, some have a “devil in the ribs”, some lack adrenaline. Often all these factors overlap each other.
“There is always a reason for cheating; it rarely happens that a man cheated simply out of boredom. When you start “digging” into the situation, what “comes out,” for example, is the woman’s mismanagement, or her lack of attention to her husband, or her unkemptness,” explains Kuznetsova.
The psychologist cites a case from practice when one client, talking about his wife, described her as an ideal housewife and mother, but at the same time could not come to terms with the fact that during their family life, and this caused a crack in their relationship. At the same time, the man could not tell his wife about the true reason for their discord, because he did not want to offend her.
Who is chosen as a lover?
Most often, men choose women who are the opposite of their wife. If the spouse is a gray mouse, then the choice falls on a bright woman; if she is uneconomical, then they choose as a mistress a lady who, for example, cooks well... Professional womanizers don’t particularly bother with candidates; any woman will do for them to go “left”, as long as she is do not mind.
The secret becomes clear
It is impossible to give universal advice to women who have learned about their husband’s infidelity: should they remain silent about it and try to change themselves, or should they make a scandal for the husband and tear out the homewrecker’s hair? Much depends on the situation and the woman’s temperament.
If the wife nevertheless decides to tell her husband that she knows about his adventures, she confronts him with a choice, and then it’s up to the man to decide with whom he will stay. A normal husband who wants to save his family will most likely try to convince his wife that he is faithful to her and stay with her.
It often happens that a man is left alone after such a scandal. He leaves his wife, but does not get along with his mistress, because before they had, and now they also have a new life together, to which the man is forced to get used to. He doesn’t always succeed, and he tries to return to his wife.
Elena Kuznetsova advises spouses to accept the guilty husband back, but at the same time analyze their behavior in order to try to become what he wants her to be. Well, in the future, you should better control your husband’s behavior.
If you have questions for psychologist Elena Kuznetsova, you can ask them by writing a letter to the editorial office of AiF-Vladimir: [email protected].
